THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

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THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

Unread postby gyashaa » 23 January 2019, 07:03

Okay. So I'm 27 years old. You could call me bi-curious. I've only had 1 girlfriend and have only tried going after women. TBH I never truly liked my girlfriend. She was kind of a bitch and I always had my foot out the door. I only dated her to see what it was like. So nowadays I'm more interested in getting a boyfriend. To see what it's like but also to find someone I truly like. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY™. I have two crushes but one is confirmed straight :( and the other is probably straight too and kind of risky (he's an old friend and I've seen him with a girl before and I don't want to lose him as a friend.). How do I find guys and how do I ask them out without weirding them out or have them want to punch me in the face?
I don't want to have sex with lots of guys. I just want one good one. I've heard that men are easier than women and I do see a lot of promiscuity in the gay community (probably because of that reason) but I don't want to be promiscuous. However, if I do find someone, will I inevitably crave more? Or is it a matter of finding the right one? Is there even a right one(s) out there for me? Also, when is the right time to "settle down" and be with someone for the rest of my life? Or should I never settle down? I'm so confused. Any advice? I'm literally a complete noob at this.
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Re: THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

Unread postby Eryx » 23 January 2019, 11:32

Not all guys are after promiscuity, but it definitely comes easier than dealing with women, maybe due to our nature or maybe due to our culture. If you're looking for a relationship, I'd recommend going to gay bars in your area, as some people there are more inclined to date, or just look around your close circle of friends and acquaintances.

I don't know if you're going to crave more once you get to hook up with someone because everyone's sexuality is a bit different, it can go either way for you. Anyway, welcome to the forums and I hope you stick around. :)
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Re: THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

Unread postby PopTart » 23 January 2019, 18:14

Eryx is right, on both counts.

Meeting someone in person, is always going to be more conducive to forming a meaningful connection. If thats what your looking for, even first time around, consider doing as Eryx has suggested. Bar's, friends of friends, social gorups and the like, all good places to meet new people and start getting to know someone.

As to what you are likely to want, no-one cane really say. You may indeed go out and meet someone you want a relationship with, first time, but you may also meet someone with whom you don't click and go out to find another and then another and decide, actually, your okay with that too.

The important thing is to be honest with yourself, don't let any pre-concieved notions deter you from finding out what works for you and be patient with yourself.

Also, have fun along the way!
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Re: THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

Unread postby Jzone » 23 January 2019, 18:32

Welcome, gyashaa-

I agree with everything Eryx nad Poptart said. The answer to almost all of your questions is: that depends on you. Promiscuity is not required, so feel free to explore what appeals to you. How you meet guys depends on where you live, what's available there socially, and whether you're ready to be out with your sexuality. The easiest guys to hook up with may be more promiscuous than you want, so be picky if that is more you. I don't believe there is such a thing as "the right one" for any of us. You meet someone, explore what being together is like, stick with it if it works and move on if it doesn't. Expect to make some mistakes and learn about yourself along the way.

Many guys on this forum have had similar questions, so don't worry about being a noob. Check out some other threads or add more to this one. You'll probably get more advice than you want :) .
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Re: THIS IS UNCHARTED TERRITORY

Unread postby Vertical » 24 January 2019, 22:32

gyashaa wrote:Okay. So I'm 27 years old. You could call me bi-curious. I've only had 1 girlfriend and have only tried going after women. TBH I never truly liked my girlfriend. She was kind of a bitch and I always had my foot out the door. I only dated her to see what it was like.

What do you mean with bi-curious here, that you are interested in men (“I have two crushes”) and perhaps in women as well? Otherwise you better finish Heterosexuality 101 and find a girlfriend you actually like. Because women long for relationships and want to ‘settle down’ like you.

I've heard that men are easier than women

In which respect? If a single bitchy women is a problem for you, how do you deal with a room full of bitchy gay men? In U.S. law enforcement circles the domestic violence of gay men is considered as the ne plus ultra of domestic violence.
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