We are not attracted to each other anymore

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We are not attracted to each other anymore

Unread postby sweatyballs » 13 July 2019, 17:12

Hello guys. I am new to the forum. I registered with purpose to open a topic on an issue I am facing for a longer time and I can't accept the opinion of my str8 friends about my situation because they see things differently and they do not understand the roles of top/bottom/uni. That's why I wanted to talk with the LGBTQ community and see your perspective on this that might help me clear out my mind and come to conclusions.

The issue is clear as it says the title:

WE LOVE EACH OTHER BUT DON'T ATTRACT EACH OTHER SEXUALLY ANYMORE. :shrug:

We have been friends for 5 years. We decided to stay friends because I was not his type and he wanted more masculine guys. But over time things changed and we noticed very huge sexual attraction between us and we fell in love with each other. We entered in a relationship and we are together almost 2 years now but since the beginning of the relationship the sexual affection started to fade.


I am Uni, mostly top, and I don't like to be penetrated. He is bottom, always was, and always will be, doesn't want to try anything else.
When I mentioned that we were friends for so long because I was just not his '' dream guy'' I don't want you to think that I am feminine, nor overly masculine guy. I'm just n average good lookin guy. And he is too.

Since the beginning of the relationship noticing the things changing and the drive fading, I always kept in mind that this things happen because I am not the guy that attract him as he want.
We had fights, he was always more prone to watching porn than mKing anything with me, and I was constantly faced with offensive words where he was always comparing me to other guys, wss always looking at other guys etc etc.

Ths was all to him normal and never wanted to admit that I am just not enough for him.

Over time my drive also started to fade and I simply got o a point where I am also no longer SEXUALLY attracted to him.

That brought us to a moment of conclusion and honesty where he addmited that he doesn't like the sex with me, but that he doesn't want to loose me and he loves me and that that is not important to him.

But now I don't wanna do anything with him....but I love him madly.

And I don't know how we need to continue...

What do you think guys? Is this a point of no return.


Thank you for taking time to read my post.
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Re: We are not attracted to each other anymore

Unread postby Prince_G_24 » 13 July 2019, 19:03

sweatyballs wrote:We had fights, he was always more prone to watching porn than mKing anything with me, and I was constantly faced with offensive words where he was always comparing me to other guys, wss always looking at other guys etc etc.

Ths was all to him normal and never wanted to admit that I am just not enough for him.


If his idea of normal is giving you shitty attitude it doesn't sound like salvaging things is going to be a likely outcome. It always sucks having to break things off, but it doesn't sound like this is healthy for your self-esteem, you shouldn't have a partner that makes you feel as though you're not good enough.
A life that lives without doing anything is the same as a slow death.
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Re: We are not attracted to each other anymore

Unread postby sweatyballs » 13 July 2019, 22:40

Thank you for your reply and support prince. The things that were constantly happening frustrated me a lot and created too many conflicts in me that I do not recognise myself anymore. I am finding myself in a state where I have huge dislike to even ever fucking anything anymore.


I put my judgemental skills to a level where I don't even know if I am wrong and I am that bad in bed and that unattractive looking and he is just a normal guy that fell in love with a person that doesn't turn him on a lot and doesn't want to loose me. Or if I am all right a d nothing is wrong with me and he is just a whore that fell in love and is afraid to loose me.

I don't know.. . I just know that I lost my confidence, my libido my self-esteem, and I even think that I got into so huge identity crisis related to sexual preferences...

And I don't know if I should break up, which will also break me that I am afraid that will turn into emotionless careless depressed being....
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Re: We are not attracted to each other anymore

Unread postby Jryski » 14 July 2019, 02:27

If the relationship is making you feel that bad about yourself then do you think it's best to remain friends that love each other as opposed to lovers that love each other as friends but aren't attracted to each other?
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Re: We are not attracted to each other anymore

Unread postby Prince_G_24 » 15 July 2019, 07:37

sweatyballs wrote:Thank you for your reply and support prince. The things that were constantly happening frustrated me a lot and created too many conflicts in me that I do not recognise myself anymore. I am finding myself in a state where I have huge dislike to even ever fucking anything anymore.


I put my judgemental skills to a level where I don't even know if I am wrong and I am that bad in bed and that unattractive looking and he is just a normal guy that fell in love with a person that doesn't turn him on a lot and doesn't want to loose me. Or if I am all right a d nothing is wrong with me and he is just a whore that fell in love and is afraid to loose me.

I don't know.. . I just know that I lost my confidence, my libido my self-esteem, and I even think that I got into so huge identity crisis related to sexual preferences...

And I don't know if I should break up, which will also break me that I am afraid that will turn into emotionless careless depressed being....


It’s natural to expect and become depressed after a break up. But it’s clear that this relationship is destroying your confidence. The break up’s gonna suck, it’s certainly hard to remain optimistic, but being single sounds like it would do wonders to help you do some healing and rediscover yourself as a person. If it’s a struggle, there’s therapists and crisis counselors that are trained to help you get through those kinds of rough patches. Coming from someone who’s been in and seen people go through and leave toxic relationships, it’s cliche as fuck to say but it does get better once you cut off that emotional baggage.
A life that lives without doing anything is the same as a slow death.
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