What is my friend playing at?

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What is my friend playing at?

Unread postby MadCherub » 24 August 2019, 13:37

This is long, I apologize, but it’s also the spark notes version.

There’s a friend of mine (also my coworker. We met at work in February, 2019), that I have a crush on. For me, a crush wont develop until there’s reason for me to believe that he has feelings, too. And for my crush right now, there has been, but I dont know his sexuality. I do know he’s had girlfriends, but some of his actions make it difficult to believe he’s straight.

He blushes, laughs at all my jokes, holds eye contact, hovers around and very close to me. He makes sure we walk to our cars together, do errands together. With other people, he’s closed off and shy, but around me he’s a completely different person, open, fun and very talkative. He’s also gotten physical, which I’ll explain in a sec, but I do want to point out one major negative: his hesitancy to hang out outside of work.

As for the physical touches, there’s one that I cant find reasonable doubt for: I was trying to put a new ink cartridge in the printer, with just the two of us there, and was having trouble. He notices, laughs, leans in very close to me, wraps his hand around mine, and tries to guide the my hand in the right direction (like how a guy teaches a girl how to golf in a movie, except...with a printer). I was scared and did nothing, even after he did it a second time. We were both so unfocused that we failed to noticed the cartridge was just upside down.

Getting up to date, he knows I’m gay at this point, and he has a new girlfriend. He posted a picture of them on instagram. Out of spite, I didnt like it. At work, he brings it up to me: “I posted a picture on instagram...” silence, as if he was waiting for me to respond if I had seen it or not, or like he already knew I didnt like it. But I say nothing. “...and...I didnt notice until she posted it, too, that uh...my pants are bit tight. And you can see everything haha”.

Now...I know what a noticeable bulge will look like. And when I first saw the picture, nothing stood out. That night I looked again...still nothing...\n\nWe go out for drinks and a movie later that week, and he confirms my original suspicions: “I am OFFENDED that you did not like my instagram picture!” To me, I am beyond flattered he noticed, but also my mind starts racing...out of the 75 people who liked it...”you were looking to see if I liked your picture?” “Well you know, I was looking and was like ‘wait, Nick didnt like my picture!’” To shut it down, I brought up how he stopped looking at my instagram stories around the same time, so we were both caught, and there was no resolve.

That same night, he says “ok, I cant handle this anymore” as he gets his phone out, pulls up the picture, and places it in front of me. “I need to know”. “...why are you doing this to me?” “Because I need to know if there’s something there”.

I dont know if it’s typical for guys to ask a guy friend, especially one they know is gay, to look for their bulge, but it seemed strange to me. And this was days after the post, why was he so worried about it? And why was my opinion the deciding factor? He has other friends he couldve asked.

I told him there’s nothing, and all he said was “ok” as if he knew the answer already. Or, as my friend pointed out, maybe I just unintentionally claimed he has a small penis?

I dont know what game he’s playing at, and I dont know what to do.
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Re: What is my friend playing at?

Unread postby NvM » 24 August 2019, 19:45

you gotta wait till he is in-between girl friends.
do you really want a co-worker

he gets off playing for your loving attention dosnt he but between you two there is no rush?
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Re: What is my friend playing at?

Unread postby Eryx » 24 August 2019, 21:18

I agree with NvM... I'd add he's probably a little bit confused or just wants your attention. Some straight guys really do enjoy getting attention from a gay guy just because it's another dude and they can boost their self-confidence with the responses. Tread carefully and don't let yourself get too involved, because he's got all the cards right now.

If it gets too intense and he's still dating and avoiding hang-outs outside of work, you'll know when it's time to say "Stop giving me mixed signals, I'm not a toy."
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Re: What is my friend playing at?

Unread postby Jzone » 24 August 2019, 23:21

Sounds to me like he is exploring and wants you to make an encouraging move. You don't want to get between him and his girlfriend, but maybe you could have a friendly bromance — if you can handle keeping it light.
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Re: What is my friend playing at?

Unread postby MadCherub » 26 August 2019, 22:44

Thanks for your help, guys, I really appreciate it. I’ll take my time with things, and hopefully they get better.
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