What would you do?

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What would you do?

Unread postby Panka » 31 March 2021, 15:58

Hey everybody I'll keep it as sort as possible.
I met a guy online from Grindr we were so interested in each other he was a tourist thought.So when he went back to his country we would still text like a lot so much that we fall in love with each other we video call everyday..after a period of 3-4 months we decided to move on into a friendship cuz it was pointless we were so far away we had no future.We both agreed but none really meant it or should I say acted friendly but later on he moved so fast I wasn't expecting and I started being needy..I was trying to force love even though I knew it wasn't possible. It is so hard when we text he ignores my messages sometimes I feel unwanted even though he says he cares and likes me..he is being so distant..and he said that we don't have a lot in common..and I told him we used to...and generally he is acting pretty friendly with me to the point that makes me feel unwanted...I'm still trying to understand that he doesn't want me but it's hard to truly feel it.
Would you have stayed his friend?
Does anyone have flipped a romantic relationship into a friendship.
Any advice?

Thanks in advance!!
Panka
 
Posts: 10
Joined: 6 February 2020, 13:31

Re: What would you do?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 31 March 2021, 16:31

I don’t think it sounds like you have the emotional maturity or experience to deal with the change from romance to friendship in a healthy way. It needs to be a pretty firm line in the sand and you don’t seem to be able to move past the romantic ideal of a relationship.

For you, my advice would be to respect the space he clearly needs. Step back and let him dictate the nature of your relationship. If there is to be conversation, let it come from him, it can’t be you initiating on your terms all the times. If he’s interested in anything, be it romance or friendship, he’ll reach out. If he doesn’t, let it lie and move on. Sometimes these things just don’t work out and it’s ok to just accept that and move on.
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Marmaduke
 
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Re: What would you do?

Unread postby Panka » 31 March 2021, 16:48

Marmaduke wrote:I don’t think it sounds like you have the emotional maturity or experience to deal with the change from romance to friendship in a healthy way. It needs to be a pretty firm line in the sand and you don’t seem to be able to move past the romantic ideal of a relationship.

For you, my advice would be to respect the space he clearly needs. Step back and let him dictate the nature of your relationship. If there is to be conversation, let it come from him, it can’t be you initiating on your terms all the times. If he’s interested in anything, be it romance or friendship, he’ll reach out. If he doesn’t, let it lie and move on. Sometimes these things just don’t work out and it’s ok to just accept that and move on.


I don't think myself that I have the maturity to do so. It's the first relationship i got into so I'm immature with these feelings and how to deal. Thank you very much for your advice.
Panka
 
Posts: 10
Joined: 6 February 2020, 13:31


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