Where can I find a decent guy?

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Where can I find a decent guy?

Unread postby UndercoverLover » 4 February 2020, 02:54

It's hard for me to go to clubs by myself unless I'm really drunk already. I have bad social anxiety. Also, if I'm drunk, I turn into a super horny cock whore who just wants a guy to pound me all night. Grindr is.... Well.... Grindr. Over 90% of guys there just want hook ups. Don't get me wrong, I could have sex all day and not have a problem with it,... but I do want to find someone relationship worthy. The last guy I was with a while back was in an unfair position because I wasn't out to anyone yet and he was. He was absolutely lovely. He was perfect for me... Emotionally, physically, and everything else. Unfortunately we have lost touch for so long after that, that I wouldn't even know how to approach him. I'm starting to ramble now... Anyways, just looking for ideas on where to meet a nice guy for a relationship...or at least dates.. And maybe see where it goes. I don't want to rush into anything. It's just hard to meet guys anywhere other than clubs.. At least for me. There are some insanely hot guys at the gym.. But that's all I know about them.. That they're hot. I don't even know who's gay. I'm terrible at reading people and I know that most people go to the gym for the same reason as me... To work out.

Anyways, any help would be appreciated. Thank you! <3
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Re: Where can I find a decent guy?

Unread postby Eryx » 4 February 2020, 06:03

My suggestion is to ask guys on Grindr whether they'd be open for drinking a beer or having coffee rather than having sex. Some guys are actually looking for the same kinds of connections, but if you answer in the direction of having sex, they'll expect the same and nothing more. If you tell them you'd actually like to get to know them, sometimes they reciprocate and you get to know them better.

I dated two guys from Grindr and it was the same story. The first one had "Let's have a beer" on his profile and I told him I was looking for the same. We lived three blocks away and we met halfway at a bar where we got to know each other. It didn't work out for too long because our schedules didn't match, but we had a good run. The second guy -- who I'm seeing right now -- said he wasn't looking for someone to just fuck and that he wanted to have a real, human conversation. We scheduled a date for Friday and went through with it. Best decision I've ever made.

He's absolutely beautiiful.
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Re: Where can I find a decent guy?

Unread postby René » 4 February 2020, 11:00

UndercoverLover wrote:I do want to find someone relationship worthy. The last guy I was with a while back was in an unfair position because I wasn't out to anyone yet and he was. He was absolutely lovely. He was perfect for me... Emotionally, physically, and everything else. Unfortunately we have lost touch for so long after that, that I wouldn't even know how to approach him.

Unless he's with someone else now, I would recommend finding a way. Are you out now? He might just be delighted. I would be.

Otherwise, I think Eryx's suggestion is probably a good one. But if you already know there's someone who's basically perfect for you and whom you've connected with in the past, that seems like the first avenue to pursue.
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Re: Where can I find a decent guy?

Unread postby John27 » 4 February 2020, 11:20

Past the ideas above... On another forum, I often heard suggestions of finding LGBT social activities/clubs. This is supposedly more likely (or some argue) to result in real relationships. If nothing else, the people would be a lot closer to sober than would be the case in, say, a bar, which is always a plus.

I've also heard that dating sites are more likely to result in a real relationship than Grindr. I can't confirm or deny, but I do trust the judgement of people who say this (including one person I knew who had used just about everything at one point or another).
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