Where do I stand?

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Where do I stand?

Unread postby denn15607 » 4 March 2019, 05:02

Alright, so as most of you that read my posts know, I’m out to a few of my friends. But still haven’t said anything to my family. One, I’m scared of what they will say and think. Two I cannot fully support myself yet and am afraid that they will kick me out. But the main reason for this post, I don’t know where I stand in terms of who I am, or what I’m looking for. Obviously I’m looking for love but that seems rare to find. In the area I live is known as the Bible Belt South. Very few people around here are open about accepting homosexual guys, but their open to accepting homosexual females. Which makes very little sense to me but it seems to be the culture of my hometown. I have gone to church all my life, I have tried to pray the gay away, but I finally accept that it isn’t going to change. And I’m tired of it. Every week it seems the preacher is preaching against homosexuality and how it’s wrong. But I’m at a point, I don’t know where I stand with religion, relationships, or life in general. Obviously being unemployed has its own line of problems. But has anyone else felt like this? It seems the only people that I meet online that are attractive to me are scammers, or people who just want a one time thing. I know religion seems like the wrong answer but it does bring a peace into my life. Even though a lot of it condemns me to hell. I wish I was straight, but I’m not.

If you’ve been able to read this, without any questions, please leave a response. I would love to hear other people’s opinions. If you have a question feel free to ask me. Thanks
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Re: Where do I stand?

Unread postby Eryx » 7 March 2019, 16:21

If you feel like your family may react badly to your coming out, that it may endanger you or leave you homeless, then keep your secret until you can get out and support yourself. That's the only way to make sure you'll remain okay while also being truthful.

Religion is something you can have without going to church. If you feel like going helps you feel okay, even if they're condemning you as a gay man in there, you have to weigh the pros and cons and figure out if it's something you really need. You might think it gives you peace, but maybe you'll actually feel better if you just stop going.

As for where you live, that's probably the reason you can't find other people to be with. The Bible Belt is a shithole and everyone's in the closet because of the homophobic culture there, so it can often feel like you're all alone in the world. Try to find a job in a better place and move, things will look up from there on. Or just keep looking for guys where you are, you're bound to find someone at some point.
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Re: Where do I stand?

Unread postby Sunny82 » 13 March 2019, 12:12

Omg I am totally in the same boat. I have grown up in church and I still attend here and there as I’m a spiritual person however the fact that it condemns people like me hurts me so much but praying gives me peace. My family will never accept me and I fear their reaction if I ever came out to them. The struggle can be so painful at times. I know how you feel, hope you see positive changes coming your way x
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