Am I gay, bi, insecure?

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Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 4 August 2019, 19:58

Soooo... before I came out in July. I always saw myself as someone who was romantically attracted to girls (only) and sexually attracted to guys. I thought that wasn't possible at all because in my opinion you need to hold both romantic attraction and sexual attraction to have a good relationship. I've come out now... but I can't help but still feel the same. Like, is this just 9 years of social conditioning throughout my life or is this genuine?
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby Derek » 4 August 2019, 20:14

My instinctual reaction to people who claim that is that they are stuffed to the brim with bullshit, but how would I know what other people actually feel? I don't think getting a second opinion is going to change anything.
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby Jryski » 5 August 2019, 02:34

I think you feel something for both and are comfortable with both in different ways. I think the reason you could only see women as romantic partners is because that's the idea that you saw or experienced as acceptable. You probably thought about this a lot for this idea to be rooted in your subconscious.

Being sexually attracted to guys shows that your body and your brain knows what it wants. Here's something for you to think about. Do you think animals in nature would mate or partner up if they weren't attracted to each other sexually? There are many factors and variables to consider so an online forum isn't really going to be able to help you. A good counselor or therapist will be able to better assist you in sorting out your feelings and thoughts.

Lol just realized that you're only 20. Just have fun and enjoy your life. What I said still goes but that's only if it's really bothering you that much.
Last edited by Jryski on 5 August 2019, 05:19, edited 1 time in total.
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PostThis post was deleted by Jryski on 5 August 2019, 02:34.

Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 5 August 2019, 04:27

You came out in July. It's August for God's sake. Just go fuck with a bunch of guys over the next couple years, then come back and ask that question if you still need to.
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 5 August 2019, 11:02

I know I’ve only just came out but it’s been bothering me even before that :/
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby Jryski » 5 August 2019, 11:21

dynamicdoggo wrote:I know I’ve only just came out but it’s been bothering me even before that :/

What about it bothers you exactly?
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby rxxli » 5 August 2019, 16:10

I’ve always been a bit skeptical of guys saying that. But on the other hand phrases like heteroromantic homosexual exist. So you are definitely not alone in feeling that.

But I would really ask myself if maybe you are just afraid to feel something for a guy. Or maybe you just haven’t met the right guy yet?
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby Eryx » 6 August 2019, 00:33

Sounds to me like you fantasize being in a relationship with girls because it's easier to do that in society, but you're in fact attracted to men. You either are just too horny still to develop deeper feelings or you never allowed yourself to, because that would confirm that you're gay.
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Re: Am I gay, bi, insecure?

Unread postby dynamicdoggo » 11 August 2019, 14:14

I’m out now and I’m on tinder for guys but tbh it’s boring me out now...idk. Grindr is not something I’ll venture into haha.

You both sound right tbh. Probably just haven’t found the right guy yet.
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PostThis post was deleted by Eryx on 12 August 2019, 01:50.


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