As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

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As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 22 October 2018, 22:38

Hi All,

I'm Bisexual but over the last 10 years as I have become more comfortable about liking men, I like women less and less sexually.

My question is to all the fellow bisexual guys here - overall, are you more satisfied (sexually and emotionally) in your relationships with men or with women?

I'm just curious as an ex-boyfriend/dear friend of mine has decided to go back deep into the closet (due to anxiety problems, having already not being out) and settle down with a girlfriend. Although having told me previously that a woman can not fully satisfy him and that he hates having to chase women he has no interest in just for keeping up appearances, I think he may actually be happy (based on his Whatsapp picture with his girlfriend and what little he tells me). I sincerely want him to be happy though, since he was always so lonely.

Never-the-less, I am curious if whether as being Bi, we can be content being in a monogamous relationship with a woman because I sure am not.

Looking forward to your views on this!
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Jzone » 22 October 2018, 23:29

Hey Sam,

This is an awesome question, and of course I can only answer for myself. For the micro-version of my story —

I am 54 yrs old, a closeted bisexual for most of my life. I have been aroused by and attracted to both men and women since I first became sexually aware. I married a woman (who had dabbled in same sex relationships herself), fathered and raised kids, then divorced. After divorce I dated and hooked up with men, eventually having an out and proud relationship with a guy for 6 months. After that ended, I dated a woman and she later moved in with me. We are still together and monogamous.

My experience is that I am more satisfied in a relationship when we feel like we complement each other well — that can be a man or woman. I also need to maintain close connections and friendships with a variety of people at the same time. I have tight friendships with guys, and I need to spend time with them away from my partner. It's not sexual at all, but it fills a need for masculine connection.

I am very fortunate that my (female) life partner is very open and accepting. When she is away for a night or several, she jokes that I should invite my boyfriends over. She is comfortable being around my ex bf with me. She and I go together to burlesque shows that cater to both men and women, and that was her idea.

So I feel that I have explored enough to know that for me it really doesn't matter. As long as my partner excites me and we have a chemistry together, I can be as happy with either a man or a woman romantically and sexually.

Your friend's experience sounds very different. If he is going back in the closet because he is afraid of the repercussions of being out, that's a sad thing. Repression is not the path to a full life.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Adam. Bomb » 14 December 2018, 16:26

For me I am a closet Bisexual. Also although for me I prefer women. So I am truly happy with women but men are just more of a fantasy something I like to explore I guess. But I’ve never found myself to be truly overly attracted to a man. But I do get that way with Women. Hope this helps you answer your question.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 14 December 2018, 16:46

No. I'm bisexual, and I know that men are better than women.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Mod » 14 December 2018, 21:49

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now but I know that I could evenly spend that time with a woman.
I tend to rate people individually rather than the basis of their gender so y’know, of course the right person can exist. I just found the right man first.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby JohanJay » 17 December 2018, 06:58

Hey, good topic you raised here...
Just my little humble contribution...I've been in a straight marriage for 13 years before I came out as openly gay. Me and my wife decided to carry on with a Mixed Orientation Marriage for the sake of the kids. Now, she's my best buddy and I finally came to live the life to the fullest as an openly gay man with lovely lady supporting me in everything...
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 17 December 2018, 09:34

JohanJay wrote:Hey, good topic you raised here...
Just my little humble contribution...I've been in a straight marriage for 13 years before I came out as openly gay. Me and my wife decided to carry on with a Mixed Orientation Marriage for the sake of the kids. Now, she's my best buddy and I finally came to live the life to the fullest as an openly gay man with lovely lady supporting me in everything...

be careful saying that in South Africa. the black community is pretty homophobic.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 31 December 2018, 01:30

Jzone wrote:Hey Sam,

This is an awesome question, and of course I can only answer for myself. For the micro-version of my story —

I am 54 yrs old, a closeted bisexual for most of my life. I have been aroused by and attracted to both men and women since I first became sexually aware. I married a woman (who had dabbled in same sex relationships herself), fathered and raised kids, then divorced. After divorce I dated and hooked up with men, eventually having an out and proud relationship with a guy for 6 months. After that ended, I dated a woman and she later moved in with me. We are still together and monogamous.

My experience is that I am more satisfied in a relationship when we feel like we complement each other well — that can be a man or woman. I also need to maintain close connections and friendships with a variety of people at the same time. I have tight friendships with guys, and I need to spend time with them away from my partner. It's not sexual at all, but it fills a need for masculine connection.

I am very fortunate that my (female) life partner is very open and accepting. When she is away for a night or several, she jokes that I should invite my boyfriends over. She is comfortable being around my ex bf with me. She and I go together to burlesque shows that cater to both men and women, and that was her idea.

So I feel that I have explored enough to know that for me it really doesn't matter. As long as my partner excites me and we have a chemistry together, I can be as happy with either a man or a woman romantically and sexually.

Your friend's experience sounds very different. If he is going back in the closet because he is afraid of the repercussions of being out, that's a sad thing. Repression is not the path to a full life.


Hey Man, it's really nice to hear that your partner is so comfortable and accepting of this. I guess that makes a world of a difference as you don't then feel like you're living a lie (like I do at times) and having to always 'wear a mask' which can be exhausting and like walking on egg-shells.

You're really lucky in that you can be romantically and sexually happy with both sexes; I think my relationship with a woman is becoming weaker romantically and sexually and I know that it would be the same with any other woman. I really love her though; it's confusing me haha.

I know that only with a man (as proven with my previous relationship) can I be romantically, sexually and emotionally content. But I'm not 'out' and can never be. So I better just shut-up and get on with it.

Thank you for giving me your insight:)
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 31 December 2018, 01:36

Adam. Bomb wrote:For me I am a closet Bisexual. Also although for me I prefer women. So I am truly happy with women but men are just more of a fantasy something I like to explore I guess. But I’ve never found myself to be truly overly attracted to a man. But I do get that way with Women. Hope this helps you answer your question.


Hey Adam,

This is exactly how I was at first. Then as I became more comfortable about the fact I liked guys, I started watching gay porn. A couple of years later, I was using apps and talking with guys online. Then I began to meet some for coffee and so on.

Finally I met a guy who I instantly 'clicked' with. Both of us were Bi, not out and it completely took us both by surprise that we fell in love with each other. never could I have imagined that I would fall in love with a man. It was so deep; I've never felt a connection like that and I'm in my 30s. A long story short, he has chosen to settle down with a girl because of his anxiety about being 'found out' and because he was lonely - although he told me a woman can never fully satisfy him and he wanted to spend his life with me; but we couldn't.

I guess I'm just in a lose-lose situation and need to come to terms with it.

Thanks again.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 31 December 2018, 01:37

BlackBoi666 wrote:No. I'm bisexual, and I know that men are better than women.


Yes, that's the realisation I have come to as well.

If you don't mind me asking, are you in a relationship with a man or woman at the moment and how fulfilling is it for you?

Thanks man
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 31 December 2018, 01:42

Mod wrote:I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now but I know that I could evenly spend that time with a woman.
I tend to rate people individually rather than the basis of their gender so y’know, of course the right person can exist. I just found the right man first.


That's really nice man; I'm really happy to hear that.

So you could be attracted sexually, emotionally and romantically equally to both men and women? You're really lucky man.

For me if I was in a relationship with a guy, I wouldn't be frustrated that I can't be with a woman. But being in a relationship with a woman, I am continually getting more frustrated at the fact that I cannot be with a guy. I just cannot feel the same level of a connection/bond with a woman as I can with a guy.

Thanks man and I hope everything continues to go well for you.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby sam22 » 31 December 2018, 01:44

JohanJay wrote:Hey, good topic you raised here...
Just my little humble contribution...I've been in a straight marriage for 13 years before I came out as openly gay. Me and my wife decided to carry on with a Mixed Orientation Marriage for the sake of the kids. Now, she's my best buddy and I finally came to live the life to the fullest as an openly gay man with lovely lady supporting me in everything...


You see that's the thing; being in a straight relationship s continually getting frustrating for me. But I am unable to ever come out for various reasons so I don't know what to do. Just need to shut up and continue going abut it like I have all these years.

Thanks man
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 31 December 2018, 02:25

sam22 wrote:
JohanJay wrote:Hey, good topic you raised here...
Just my little humble contribution...I've been in a straight marriage for 13 years before I came out as openly gay. Me and my wife decided to carry on with a Mixed Orientation Marriage for the sake of the kids. Now, she's my best buddy and I finally came to live the life to the fullest as an openly gay man with lovely lady supporting me in everything...


You see that's the thing; being in a straight relationship s continually getting frustrating for me. But I am unable to ever come out for various reasons so I don't know what to do. Just need to shut up and continue going abut it like I have all these years.

Thanks man

agreed. our sexuality is our business.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 31 December 2018, 02:26

sam22 wrote:
BlackBoi666 wrote:No. I'm bisexual, and I know that men are better than women.


Yes, that's the realisation I have come to as well.

If you don't mind me asking, are you in a relationship with a man or woman at the moment and how fulfilling is it for you?

Thanks man

I'm in a couple open relationships with males, but they're just online, and long distance though. I don't know any desirable, gay, males, who are local. Its not really fulfilling, in the sexual way. But they are better at keeping my emotional health well, than females are. It would be more fulfilling if I had local boyfriends, but regardless, anything is better than talking to women. yuck.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Victor_Laszlo » 31 December 2018, 02:38

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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 31 December 2018, 15:23

Well, apparently women aren’t truly happy with women so I’d go with no. That’s why lesbians are so miserable.
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 1 January 2019, 00:53

poolerboy0077 wrote:Well, apparently women aren’t truly happy with women so I’d go with no. That’s why lesbians are so miserable.

Oh, good. Lmao
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Aunty Eva » 1 January 2019, 01:11

For me, personally, gender had nothing to do with it. I fall for a person and genitals don't matter. I enjoy playing with both. As a top, I suppose the term "any holes a goal" falls into place here lol.

Men and Woman are different and I get something different from each. But, I'm satisfied and happy in a relationship with either without feeling like I'm sacrificing a part of me.

I am a firm believer that sexuality is very fluid, especially with us bisexuals and pansexuals. Some days more than others I'll be attracted to women. Some days more than others I'll be attracted to men. My point is, for me, I'm satisfied in a relationship with someone I trust, love and admire. If you make me smile, laugh and shine more than pout, cry and frown. Your gender is irrelevant. Yes, I'm human. I will always look at people I find attractive, whether in or out of a relationship. That doesn't mean I'm missing sausage because I'm on a fish diet or vice versa. I can just appreciate beauty and hotness in the human form.

My late Nan, god bless her soul, was my muse. My inspiration. We had this conversation once about looking at others when in a relationship. She said "If I stop looking at other men and appreciating their handsomeness. I'll be blind and stop looking at you. Nothing won't with window shopping, just don't touch the goods."

Sorry for the long post,

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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby Chris94 » 2 January 2019, 04:39

Admittedly, back in the days as bi-curious, i turned toward guys partly because i never had luck with girls and partly because i wanted to explore my sexuality and i was, obviously, curious XD But when i explored more, I realised that I was getting more and more comfortable with my own gender and it felt like a revelation discovering that i was able to love guys in the same fashion as i would do so with girls and that guys can be just as much of loving and supportive partners as the opposite genders,

But yeah, while im male-oriented, i dont focus on genders. I focus on which person makes my heart skip a beat, which person loves me above all and who i love back the same way
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Re: As Bisexual men, can we really be truly happy with a woman?

Unread postby biolderguy » 8 January 2019, 05:03

I'm closeted bi too and find myself becoming more attracted to men. As a bottom I find nothing has gotten me off more or felt better than riding a man. I'm new to this forum so not sure what I can or should say, but sucking dick is what I thoroughly enjoy. For me it's slowly more about men and less about women.
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