Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

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Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby AnonIsNotGay » 2 June 2021, 22:48

Is it possible to have sex with a man and it not be considered gay? I'm 18 and have seen videos of gay sex, mostly of traps/femboys and twinks and have thought it looked quite hot. However I am not gay, I do not have affectionate feelings for men but is it possible for me to use grindr and hook up with other twinks/femboys to have sex just for the pleasure, not for affection and not be considered gay?
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby Brenden » 2 June 2021, 23:28

Gay is just a label. It would be a homosexual act that means you’re at least somewhat bisexual, but if you don’t consider yourself “gay” then it’s not “gay”.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby glückspilz » 3 June 2021, 04:36

Try to say "I'm not gay" while having a cock in your mouth.
It's quite difficult.

But I second what Brenden said: These are labels. You should do whatever you like to do and don't rack your brain.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby betonhaus » 3 June 2021, 05:38

Topping a feminine trap is in the nebulous "it depends" area where it depends on how much they look like a girl and how much their penis comes into play, but realistically it ends up being no one's business but your own and you get to decide what it means to you. You can have all sorts of theoretical arguments with strangers on the internet going deep into pendantics but really if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and lets you stick it in the backdoor like some ducks do anyways, then it doesn't really matter if it's a goose.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby rogonandi » 3 June 2021, 06:04

Sure, but why does the label matter so much?
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 3 June 2021, 13:07

It's definitely gay activity, but you don't have to call yourself gay. And going on Grindr or actually having sex with a femboy isn't the point where you become gay, it's the fact that you are attracted to men right now that does make you at least bisexual. You can't really escape that using the fact you didn't actually have sex.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby René » 3 June 2021, 15:58

You can be e.g. bisexual but heteroromantic.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby Severelius » 3 June 2021, 16:20

The fun thing about labels is you can call yourself whatever the fuck you want. It's entirely up to you how you define yourself.

You aren't the first person who'd fuck men but still define yourself as straight, and you certainly won't be the last.

Ultimately how you label your own sexuality is entirely up to you and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby pozboro » 4 June 2021, 21:32

absolutely!

in public health they talk about MSMs - men who have sex with men but who don't identify as gay or bi - these are the guys who can give you the low-down on the down-low
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby René » 4 June 2021, 22:12

pozboro wrote:absolutely!

in public health they talk about MSMs - men who have sex with men but who don't identify as gay or bi - these are the guys who can give you the low-down on the down-low

In academic publications (medical studies etc.), MSM covers all men who have sex with men, including gays and bisexuals.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby SpookySpector » 5 June 2021, 00:05

René wrote:
pozboro wrote:absolutely!

in public health they talk about MSMs - men who have sex with men but who don't identify as gay or bi - these are the guys who can give you the low-down on the down-low

In academic publications (medical studies etc.), MSM covers all men who have sex with men, including gays and bisexuals.

There are, I believe, quite a few studies on men who have sex with men but still call themselves straight, it’s probably the strongest argument against not having any labels at all. Obviously it’s not strong *enough*, but still

And yeah, MSM is an across the board term
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby René » 5 June 2021, 02:49

SpookySpector wrote:
René wrote:
pozboro wrote:absolutely!

in public health they talk about MSMs - men who have sex with men but who don't identify as gay or bi - these are the guys who can give you the low-down on the down-low

In academic publications (medical studies etc.), MSM covers all men who have sex with men, including gays and bisexuals.

There are, I believe, quite a few studies on men who have sex with men but still call themselves straight, it’s probably the strongest argument against not having any labels at all. Obviously it’s not strong *enough*, but still

Well, to me, romantic attraction is a much more important part of being gay than sex. Like, I knew I was gay when I got my first crush.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 5 June 2021, 03:53

Sure, it’s a free country.

Now if you all excuse me, I’m going to go back to my tent under the freeway overpass and not be homeless. I don’t identify as such so I’m not.
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby PopTart » 5 June 2021, 16:05

poolerboy0077 wrote:Now if you all excuse me, I’m going to go back to my tent under the freeway overpass and not be homeless. I don’t identify as such so I’m not.

:lol:
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Re: Can I have sex with a guy and it not be gay?

Unread postby Ballparkdogg » 9 June 2021, 04:40

Yes you can. I have had sex with men and I am not gay. I am bisexual.
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