Cum shame

**unknown1992** · by **unknown1992** » 7 November 2021, 00:54

So Ive always wanted to swallow cum. I tried eating my own cum but as soon as I cum I experience self hatred and shame, so I lose all interest. I tried sucking a guy off and as soon as I came from excitement I got filled with shame and couldn't finish him.

The only other time as soon as the guy came in my mouth, I came and was filled with so much shame I ran to the bathroom and started spitting and washing my mouth. I don't know how to get past this. Has anyone experienced something like that before? Is there a way around it? I want to do it I just don't know how to get there..

**pozzie** · by **pozzie** » 7 November 2021, 00:58

To start you have to deal with why you feel shame - nothing's going to work right if you feel self-hatred and shame when you cum or help someone else to cum. What's going on?

**unknown1992** · by **unknown1992** » 7 November 2021, 06:44

Was raised roman catholic, and its always been a struggle. I want to find a way around it and get past this obstacle but not sure how.

**PopTart** · by **PopTart** » 7 November 2021, 09:33

It's not unusual to lose interest in cum, once the moment passes. I love it, but once I've finished, my enthusiasm is... diminished. Not gone, but I enjoy it less, once the moment has passed for me.

Why mention it?

Maybe you could acclimate yourself to it, through exposure BEFORE you cum.

That wont deal with the underlying causes for the shame, but doing as Pozboro suggests, identifying why you feel shame and coming to terms with it, combined with learning to enjoy it and that there is no harm or reason for shame, by engaging in it, you stand a better chance of moving forward.

**pozzie** · by **pozzie** » 7 November 2021, 20:42

unknown1992 wrote:Was raised roman catholic, and its always been a struggle. I want to find a way around it and get past this obstacle but not sure how.

yeah, that makes things difficult - at some point you have to decide if you want to continue allowing the Church to have such control over your life, but honestly, dealing with those issues are generally more appropriate for a therapist than a forum.

Shame sux. Don't let it ruin your life.

**Laserman1964** · by **Laserman1964** » 7 November 2021, 21:01

I would suggest don’t cum first, that’s what I do. Also, perhaps the biggest conclusion I came to is did I find the man sexy and attractive to enjoy him or was it just a moment of pleasure for you only with a large focus on cumming rather than just enjoying the moment in a relaxed way.

I felt bad in the early days. Before I accepted being gay. I had grown up in an era when men giving men blow jobs was just dirty and desperate.

Until I met one particular guy. One I found incredibly beautiful. I would do anything for him and I usually did including allowing him to video me as he came in my throat and down my mouth. I felt no guilt then. Just pure satisfaction I had pleased my man.

I have met others since and not experienced the same joy. In fact one man spurted after ten seconds of me going down on him. I didn’t let him cum in my mouth. He didn’t tell me he was about to cum which was not on. Then he left me to feel frustrated. I left to go back to my flat for a wank!

**Bimm** · by **Bimm** » 8 November 2021, 18:26

unknown1992 wrote:So Ive always wanted to swallow cum. I tried eating my own cum but as soon as I cum I experience self hatred and shame, so I lose all interest. I tried sucking a guy off and as soon as I came from excitement I got filled with shame and couldn't finish him.

The only other time as soon as the guy came in my mouth, I came and was filled with so much shame I ran to the bathroom and started spitting and washing my mouth. I don't know how to get past this. Has anyone experienced something like that before? Is there a way around it? I want to do it I just don't know how to get there..

I won’t use the term cum shame but, I too used to lose interest after I came. I suggest that the next time, don’t stroke yourself or let you partner stroke you. After I had a few experiences sucking, I found that when they came first and I didn’t cum, I enjoyed the taste of cum and the wonderful experience that I could bring a man to climax with my mouth.

I know how good it feels to get a good blowjob and I know how good it feels to have someone sit on my duck but, I get a real emotional release when I make a man cum either orally or anally.

Sometimes, the person you are with may not want to reciprocate after they have cum. But, that’s their problem.

Keep trying! There is NO shame!

Not sure I helped but, I hope I did

**pozzie** · by **pozzie** » 8 November 2021, 20:17

Let's be clear - there's a huge difference between losing interest (or getting too sensitive) after shooting and "cum shame." Clearly there's something in the way our bodies work that leads most guys to want to take a break after they've dumped a load. Some want to nap; others, eat or smoke or whatever; and the better ones will be there to help or at least cuddle a bit. And yes, some will even be up for some more, though that is generally thought of as more a younger guy's thing (though it's really all in our heads after the "refractory period").

Cum shame isn't biological. It's a learned behavior that can be unlearned as well.

This post was deleted by René on 3 December 2021, 17:45.
Reason: Spam

**Introvert_Bn_18** · by **Introvert_Bn_18** » 10 November 2021, 11:20

18 Yet, Have only experienced once yet! But, candidly, I liked that experience! Will try in the future as well!

**NiceBiVers** · by **NiceBiVers** » 17 November 2021, 12:05

Agree, Cum Shame isn’t the right heading. I have all these fantasies and battled to get into it. It’s easy to say bite the bullet but in fact that’s exactly what it is. I came into my hand and then couldn’t go through with tasting my own cum! I even tried coming on my own face to make it weirdly easier yet of course it was more difficult, I won’t explain. So, what next! I just said one day that’s it. I jerked of to gay porn. Took my time as I know I have a bigger load when I build up long enough. At the height of my orgasm my fingers we’re ready. As soon as my first load came out I moved my fingers to my mouth, no hesitation. I was still cumming and no thoughts were going through my head, yet this new taste was just thrilling. I just kept my fingers busy by bringing more and more up to my mouth. I was in my own fantasy. Dare I say it is no longer a problem.

**Nwibottom** · by **Nwibottom** » 18 November 2021, 16:33

So I’ve gone through this same issue. There could be a underlying issues as well. I really had to force myself to become a cumpig at first but once you open that door . It becomes really easy to take any cum . You will desire it like a drug . It controls me at times . Cum is amazing

**21-79BB!** · by **21-79BB!** » 16 June 2022, 02:18

I'm a retired medical professional, and I agree with pozzie that some sessions with a licensed therapist could help you. There is no shame in seeing a therapist, and you may be able to find a sex therapist dedicated to helping gay men enjoy healthy, fulfilling sex. A sense of personal faith is a bedrock of life. Nothing says that you have to belong to any given religious denomination. If you are leading a life of kindness towards others and seek to make sound choices, you will be all right! Give yourself over freely to your orgasm when you cum! Spread it sensuously around on your body and taste it hungrily. Work to develop a caring relationship with your partner, and talk over fellatio desires and preferences. Cumshots are the visible sign of the greatest single pleasure known to males; to me, that's what makes them so special, so blast your loads on each other. Deeo-throat your partner and gulp down the load. Try cum- eating or facials and talk about what did or didn't work with them. Good luck! Let us know how things go!

**Bob_Sm654** · by **Bob_Sm654** » 18 June 2022, 01:25

Come to terms with yourself. Try this: stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself out loud, be honest to yourself: "I want to see my partenr having pleasure. I want him to have pleasure. I want to give this pleasure to him. I want to see him at his climax, ejaculating in my mouth."
Enjoy the pleasure of giving someone else pleasure, make it about him. If it is someone you care about, it is worth a try.

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