Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

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What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

≤10
41
17%
11
18
8%
12
28
12%
13
37
15%
14
17
7%
15
16
7%
16
14
6%
17
7
3%
18
9
4%
19
2
1%
20
7
3%
21
3
1%
22
0
No votes
23
3
1%
24
2
1%
25
2
1%
26
3
1%
27
3
1%
28
1
0%
29
2
1%
30s
11
5%
40s
5
2%
50s
4
2%
≥60
4
2%
 
Total votes : 239

Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby GearFetTwinkRomance » 15 November 2019, 15:16

I had a crush on King Richard the Lionheart when I was 5 to 6 years of age. Well, it was an artists illustration of a Twink or Twen King Richard in a book I had on crusaders. I had an early awareness about romantic orientation and I clearly knew I was all different from my peers. So I wondered, for example, how come that guys marry women all the time and no man would marry another man. This kind of puzzled me, until I learned where the children came from. I also intuitively sensed I had to hide this away from the clergy and catholic believers - that was a time when nobody knew of pedophile or gay priests and all that. Not in our village, at least.
The sexual awareness came way later. By then, the Fetish preference had already settled to be comfortable with all the ideas on romantics and secret partner illusions. And then it was more like Gear fetish sexuality I guess. Once more something, that almost nobody can relate to.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Ti22 Angel » 13 December 2019, 23:06

age 13 for sure.
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Actually it was much younger when I first suspected?

Unread postby DonMcG » 21 December 2019, 16:19

When I was eight years old my parents left me with my aunt Betty while they took n vacation cruise with my other aunt and her husband. They arrangefor my other aunt to baby set me and my brother while they were gone. Soon after they left. Aunt Betty,who was only 7 years older than me, said that it was time for me and my six year old brother to take a bath and get ready for bed. We both complained but did as she said. We rack had wind up toy boats that we played with in the bath. Later she told US to get out and dry off. She took me into the master bedroom and said that to inspect me to see if the toy boats propeller had injured my penis. Shee had me lay on my back nude while she manipulated my penis from side and up and down. Even at that young age it had an effect on me. Then she put her lips on my penis ad began to suck. This went on for a couple of minutes and she stuck her finger in my ass and began to pump in and out. This must has lasted for ten or fifteen minutes and she stopped and she said you're ok now you must inspect your brother. So I manipulated, sucked and finger fucked my younger brother for what seemed like twenty minutes.
This was a yearly occurrence for the next four years. When I was around ten , I started getting full on erections. So aunt Betty added something to the inspection procedure. She lubed up my penis and had me fuck my brother in the ass. This started to feel really good and soon I had my first climax and shot a huge load deep in my brothers ass. Aunt Betty laughed in glee . Clapped her hands and said wonderful, wonderful! Her two young nephews were full blown queers. She was so happy and couldn't stop laughing.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Tina » 23 December 2019, 05:15

16. I am trying my best to change/hide it. Cause there is no future in it for me.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby René » 23 December 2019, 22:20

Tina wrote:16. I am trying my best to change

That's not happening, I'm afraid.

Tina wrote:/hide it.

That seems to prove unsustainable pretty much universally.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby JohnnyJingles » 31 December 2019, 08:40

Long time ago.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby René » 31 December 2019, 09:37

JohnnyJingles wrote:I was introduced to cock when I was 11. Basically, giving hand jobs to a friend's older brother. I like doing it, but just didn't want anyone to know. I didn't recognize myself as gay or bi at that time, that would come latter. I was also 11 when he taught me how to give him a blowjob. He asked me if I knew what a blowjob was and if I had even given one. Of course I knew, but I had never given one. He told me it was simple, all I had to do was open my mouth, he would put his cock in, I'd suck on it, he'd cum and I'd eat it.

It wasn't much of a blowjob, but I did like having his cock in my mouth. I wouldn't swallow, though he made me a do it a few times. I didn't like him cumming in my mouth either, just sucking his cock was all I cared about. It was the forbidden fruit. It was exciting but I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. I knew if I got caught sucking cock and playing with a guy's dick it would be something I didn't want to face, given the attitudes where I grew up. So at this stage I had no problem engaging in homosexual acts, I just didn't want anyone to know. I think that is common.

Does it concern you at all that this guy committed child sexual abuse and may have done it to more kids, some of whom may not have been such willing victims?
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby JohnnyJingles » 2 January 2020, 03:22

René wrote:Does it concern you at all that this guy committed child sexual abuse and may have done it to more kids, some of whom may not have been such willing victims?


No, the time and place were too long ago.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby René » 2 January 2020, 05:36

JohnnyJingles wrote:When the guy sexually abused me, I didn't perceive it as abuse. You bring up willingness, which in itself implies consent and choice. When you give consent and make a choice, you are not a victim.

It's about informed consent, which an 11-year-old can't give, despite possibly being a willing participant. Abuse often isn't perceived as abuse, but that doesn't mean it's not or isn't immoral and criminal.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby JohnnyJingles » 2 January 2020, 13:45

It was snowing.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 3 January 2020, 17:21

René wrote:
JohnnyJingles wrote:When the guy sexually abused me, I didn't perceive it as abuse. You bring up willingness, which in itself implies consent and choice. When you give consent and make a choice, you are not a victim.

It's about informed consent, which an 11-year-old can't give, despite possibly being a willing participant. Abuse often isn't perceived as abuse, but that doesn't mean it's not or isn't immoral and criminal.


I know that the discussion has been toned way down since I first read this thread. Still I felt the need to give my two cents. (Actually, as long as my comments are, 2 cents is probably disingenuous. ;) )

Note, I was NEVER sexually abused as a child, and I have absolutely ZERO interest in children's body parts. Note, in all honesty, the same cannot be said about my partner's past. His grandfather started sex with him when he was 5 or less. He doesn't see it as abuse. He and his grandfather did many things together -- sex was just a small part of it. To be honest, there was lots of other sex with cousins and even uncles. When I first heard this years ago. It BOTHERED me greatly. This should NOT be normal. However, it happened, and who am I to put harm in something that he doesn't see that way. There are times I wonder if perhaps he isn't really gay, but was an example of "recruited homosexuality". However, I know such thinking is really my own inferiority complex feelings about how could I land such a wonderful, well-adjusted masculine man. Note too, that he has NEVER abused boys himself. He hand his son have a WONDERFUL relationship and there was never anything inappropriate. His son is straight.

Again, I do NOT approve of what happened. to him I simply cannot let myself to make himself feel like a victim when he himself doesn't feel that way.

On a similar vein, I have relatives on my side that I care deeply for. They were both molested by their step-father, while their mother took polaroids of this molesting. I am ashamed to think a mother would let her daughters be molested. They were probably 5 and 7 when this happened. They had blanked it out until they discovered a photo book with all these polaroids. They did not like this at all. The older one married as soon as she was 18 to get out of the house. The younger one did a lot of homework in her room with the door locked to avoid interacting with the adults. As far as I can tell, they are fine mentally despite this trauma 30 plus years ago. The older one never let her mother and step-father see her children as she refused to even have a hint of possibility of this abuse continuing to another generation. She also didn't see her grandmother (mother's mother) because she insisted that she bring along her parents.

So I have one example of someone who was fine with it, and another where they were not fine with it. So I guess my conclusion is to address an individual as they wish to be addressed if they ever share such a story. Don't victimize them if they don't feel like a victim, and don't dismiss their pain if they had such interpretation.

I will also add that I have a big problem with those who want the death penalty (at least in the US) for child molestors. I believe in proportionate punishment. I feel too that when we tell a sexual abused person that their life is ruined, we may be encouraging them to develop some kind of psychosis that their lives will never be whole. Children should NEVER be sexualized by an adult. That being said, they can lead full productive lives. As for the perpetrators, I think they belong more in psychological care than a prison. I do worry that by putting sexual abuse at the same level as murder, we might get some crazy individual killing a child to avoid being found out. Though I have no children, if I did, I would rather have to deal with a child who was molested than a child who I have to bury. There is no coming back from the grave. I do make a distinction between molesting, and torture. Any human who kills a child, or mames a child to get their rocks off, should have the maximum punishment. As a case in point, many years ago in California, a man raped a 12-year old (I think that was her age). Then he cut off her hands and feet, and left her to die. That kind of sexual abuse to me is the same as murder, and under no circumstances should he ever seen the light of day again. I would not shed a tear if he had been executed....

Oh well so much for the gory stuff. Again, children should have their childhood free of any sexual abuse by adults -- or older teens. We have few years of childhood, and they should be as innocent years as possible.

Now on a tangent, I do think that there are times people obsess about being victims when it defies logic. Case in point, there are men who obsess against their parents for having circumsized them as infants. I am circumsized. As I have said multiple times, I do not crave cock, I simply accept that loving men means cock comes with the territory. I have a slight preference for cut cocks ONLY because I have seen one too many uncut cocks that stink and have smegma to the point that I wanted to throw up. As far as I'm concerned, if an uncut guy keeps his cock clean, I have no issues. Nevertheless, there are guys who obsess about how cruel it was that they were cut as infants. Now if the circumcision was blotched, all power to them. However, if all they are complaining about is that they didn't have a choice in the matter, then they are over-reacting.

I bring this up as an example of people who relish being a victim about something. This one simply stuck in my mind because it seemed so trivial.

I will also bring up that I have a different take on homosexuality/bisexuality. I don't like the emphasis on genetics or born this way. Too many gay guys I know use it as an excuse along the lines of "I cannot help myself". It almost seems like an example of victimhood. Maybe it is genetic.

However, would it really be SO horrible if a man simply fell in love with another human being who happened to have the same private parts? I know that my sexuallity was so heavily influenced by the desire to have another man's love. Much of it was wanting that father figure who loved me, who praised me, etc. Yes I suppose some of it could seem like victimhood because my grandpa died when I was so young, and my dad was a tyrant. However, its way past that. My partner is only 5 months older than me. So, he is way too young to be MY "daddy". He is more of an equal. It took my own maturity to realize that at some point, you need to nurture as much as want nurturing from a partner. I also am at years past the point where I don't need a paternal validation. My dad died 11+ years ago, and even back then I realized that his failures were simply that -- his failures. I don't require another man to make up for his faults. I simply want to love and be loved by another man.

PS: Note that if you dig into early gay rights history, some of the pioneers suggested that older men should introduce young gay men into sex because that way they won't be mistreated. I forget my sources, but it wasn't just hearsay. I cannot relate to why they felt that way, but our past isn't as innocent as some would have you believe. Note that we have to be very careful on this topic, as even today, homosexuality and under-majority age are intertwined in our enemies' minds. I have read stories about Catholic priest abuse of minors, and some anti-gay fanatics want to blame it on lax rules on homosexuality. It is nuts as the church is still very unfriendly, and to say that homosexuals were openly accepted into the priesthood in the 1960, 70's, etc is NONSENSE! They are pedos -- or whatever the term is when the boys are a bit older -- teenagers. Still wrong, and NOT a gay thing!
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Harlow_boy » 16 January 2020, 21:30

11 and was when we used to go swimming and I'd see the naked older men in the showers, I didn't get my fist taste of dick till I was 13/14 and that was a school friend that used to give trade the worst blowjobs with lol
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Eryx » 16 January 2020, 21:41

Damn, people in India don't waste time
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby John27 » 17 January 2020, 04:42

Voted 40s. I concluded I'm gay in my low 40s, but I probably realized earlier that I wasn't straight. How much realization I had depended on how much denial I had at the moment. :lol:

I can't say when I had the earliest clues, but certainly by about the time I was 13. One problem: I didn't have the knowledge about sexuality to understand what the clues meant. And by the time I did have that understanding, I'd developed a really good case of denial.
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby camtwink96 » 4 February 2020, 00:50

15 was when I officially came out amongst close friends and slowly extended from there. I was in a fairly safe schooling environment. Typical name calling type of bullying but nothing too worrying to hide myself. Since then I never had to mention my sexuality. I was just me
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Valso » 24 February 2020, 21:05

I voted 26 but it in reality I don't really remember. I only remember I read an article describing different sexualities but the exact time - I don't. But my first boy-to-boy experience was when I was 17 altough back then I didn't care to read or search for a description. I just fell in love and nothing else mattered. :)
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby secretasianman » 25 February 2020, 18:03

Same here, I voted 26, but I don't really remember. I was always attracted to females, but I often fantasized about having sex with other guys since I was a teen. I just suppressed those fantasies until I was in my 20's, when I got drunk, and made out with a gay guy outside a gay bar. I had a tingling sensation that this was what I wanted, and he took me home that night and made a bi out of me. :)
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Valso » 27 February 2020, 01:12

secretasianman wrote:Same here, I voted 26, but I don't really remember. I was always attracted to females, but I often fantasized about having sex with other guys since I was a teen. I just suppressed those fantasies until I was in my 20's, when I got drunk, and made out with a gay guy outside a gay bar. I had a tingling sensation that this was what I wanted, and he took me home that night and made a bi out of me. :)

He didn't make you a bi, you were already a bi, you just didn't know it. When I say "you didn't know it", I don't mean the insult gays tend to use towards us (I'm bisexual too). I really mean you didn't know it, just like I didn't know it until that moment when I read the article I mentioned above. One is born with their sexuality, doesn't become that. ;)
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby secretasianman » 27 February 2020, 04:49

rado84 wrote:
secretasianman wrote:Same here, I voted 26, but I don't really remember. I was always attracted to females, but I often fantasized about having sex with other guys since I was a teen. I just suppressed those fantasies until I was in my 20's, when I got drunk, and made out with a gay guy outside a gay bar. I had a tingling sensation that this was what I wanted, and he took me home that night and made a bi out of me. :)

He didn't make you a bi, you were already a bi, you just didn't know it. When I say "you didn't know it", I don't mean the insult gays tend to use towards us (I'm bisexual too). I really mean you didn't know it, just like I didn't know it until that moment when I read the article I mentioned above. One is born with their sexuality, doesn't become that. ;)

I meant that as a figure of speech. ;)
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Re: Definitive Poll: What age did you realise you're gay/bi/etc?

Unread postby Rym2018 » 9 March 2020, 07:01

My story is a little different. I started liking guys around age 17 and had my first gay experience at age 19. I say my story is a little different because I sort of trained my self to like guys. I was always attracted to girls and fell madly in love with my then girlfriend at age 15. But I was always self conscience about me having a small penis, and suspected my girlfriend didn’t like having sex with me. In addition, this girl cheated on me, turns out, many times. So I got really really really depressed thinking I wasn’t man enough to sexually satisfy a girl, and thinking I was never gonna have sex again in order to avoid embarrassment. Around this time I got really hooked on porn. I liked watching other guys fuck girls in their homemade videos with their bigger dicks. One day surfing the porn sites I found a video where a guy was fucking another guy with a small dick. It caught my attention and when I clicked on it and saw the video, I immediately identified with guy being fucked because he didn’t use his small dick at all. It wasn’t necessary for him to use his small dick in order to satisfy his partner. I remember I had a huge orgasm jacking off to the video, thinking that could be me having sex again. However, I felt disgusted that I got turned on watching gay sex and I supposedly decided to never watch gay porn again. But the next time I was watching porn again, I felt the need to watch gay porn again. At that point I began watching a lot of gay porn, always searching for small dick bottoms. And even when I saw straight porn I began identifying with the girl. And so that’s how I started being into guys. Nonetheless, my attraction to guys is only physical, carnal. I cannot say I’ve ever had any feelings for a guy, at least not in the same way I felt towards my girlfriend.
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