Education request (top/bottom vs versatile)

**nellphoenix** · by **nellphoenix** » 28 November 2018, 14:53

Hi
I enjoy many different genre of novels and recently got into reading gay fiction but and here is why I am on here to get educated.

Why do some relationships have a distinct bottom and top and others switch it up? is this just a personal thing or am i missing the point?

please educate me. thanks

**Eryx** · by **Eryx** » 28 November 2018, 17:29

Because people are very different. Sometimes a smaller guy prefers to top, sometimes a big guy prefers to bottom. Pornography and fiction both create a fantasy where the bigger men will always be dominant, virile and tops, while smaller guys will be sensitive, delicate and submissive bottoms. That does not correspond to reality, however. Once one becomes sexually active, they realize sexual preferences can be very different from how one chooses to be affectionate, with all kinds of combinations happening.

Also, most gay men in real life are versatile and enjoy doing both in sex, and that doesn't indicate anything about how they act in relationships.

In fiction, what happens is heavily tied to the author's personal preferences and fetishes, unless they're a really good storyteller and able to create something that doesn't correspond to what they're looking for necessarily.

**Tommiebee** · by **Tommiebee** » 28 November 2018, 20:18

Much like many other things, we're all wired differently, and those differences make an impact on our responses.
I'm a tender, gentle, submissive bottom but don't appear that way at first glance since my body more resembles a football player.

**nellphoenix** · by **nellphoenix** » 28 November 2018, 21:13

Thanks for the help. The author i am reading is Andrew grey who is married to a man. The books are great but this aspect had me a little confused.

When I don't get something then I try to educate myself and not be closed minded.

I appreciate you taking the time to help. X. Nell

**mxguy01** · by **mxguy01** » 28 November 2018, 22:49

Eryx wrote:...with all kinds of combinations happening...

IMO that is the great thing about being gay. Way more relationship dynamics happening. To me, it makes it all that much better.

Education request (top/bottom vs versatile)

Education request (top/bottom vs versatile)

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Re: Education request (top/bottom vs versatile)

Re: Education request (top/bottom vs versatile)

Re: Education request