Have you ever used a male escort?

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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 20 September 2019, 16:59

René wrote:


I'll just address a few points. I find it freaking fantastic that lgbt can have partners. And as such that partnership means every bit as much and in ways more than "marriage" which really IMO is an out dated concept.

Isn't the difficulty in ending a marriage...kind of the point?
No. Outright no. Does it happen a lot yes. Does it always happen, no. when the two choose to end it without the "shit show" it goes well from what I heard. Do people have hurt feelings afterwards, yes. Did they turn it into a shit show, no. Some, actually most with children involved, continue to speak to each other at some level.

So really my point in addressing this one is we, meaning my wife and me, had this discussion from time to time. What if. Before kids it was pretty easy. Sure, we simply go each other's ways. We had the conversation again during the decision process to have kids. We likely even discussed it if not at least joked around about how we would handle it. We would move into a duplex and the kids could view it as a single home. Actually I thing we mentioned that because atm the home we had was rather large and it was a comparison of house values that brought it up. Quite simply we both always assumed we could even do that well. I never imagined but we should have put all it in writing to make it a non-argument and just keep it updated. By the time I realized that changed I also realized it kind of changed for mostly the reason to just create more tension between us by that point.

Were you physically and romantically attracted to your wife? I recalled you'd said you were "100% gay", so I kind of assumed the answer to that was no. Correct me if I'm wrong.


First I realize I said a lot of mean and hurtful things about my ex wife. Some true. Some misleading, not intentionally but because of my emotional reaction to it each time I guess.

Romantically: Admittedly my first time with a guy was quite an experience and perhaps I simply never knew what I was missing. But maybe part of that experience was because it was so repressed for so long. That's now. Going back, I made that choice, for me. Technically you could say I was somewhere between straight and asexual and not gay if you get that point. But yes, I knew. My choice how to live was my choice. Your partner, I assume you trust to no end, you do things for each other, you commit to and stay that way (never cheat on each other), you face difficulties in life, you support each other emotionally, you know how to read each other even when the other is trying not to be read and you respect that unless, ... What of any of that do you think I did not have? Now add kids. You know how when you both face challenges together how that brings you closer? Both delivers were difficult. We were worried we were going to loose our son. My daughter was born early too. I ended up going on a short trip for work. Everything was fine (no sign of any issues) so and it was still early so I went. We were talking that night and I could tell something was off. She had went to the doctor and there was some minor issues (skipping details). At least that was what I was told. We finished our conversation and I started packing and calling travel who put me on standby on 1st flight and I made it home. A close call for missing it. You ask romantically, I'd say I had an attraction to her like no other person who walked the earth because of who she was. Unfortunately the use of "was" rather than "is".

Physically: Well I've dumped enough other personal stuff so why hold back. Again it wasn't that as much as my bitterness of the ending I guess that would lead you to think not. Here again I've also made some hurtful comments some even true which should not have been mentioned. That crap was at the end. I made note that the marriage died before I was served the papers. Like a lot of things in life I don't let go very easy for better and certainly for worse as well. So maybe dump some of the good. My ex had small tits. She was a bit self conscience about them. Me, I really liked that. Honestly I don't care one bit for big ones as they just seem to get in the way. Small ones are a different story. Over time she realized I wasn't kidding her and she really got less self conscience about them. Cool huh. I joke about vagina now but well, she was on the pill, we didn't need to use a condom. Early in our marriage, every day I woke up with a hard on we took care of it. Admittedly some times we both didn't feel like it. Very few times just one wasn't into it. In no case was it any issue in the beginning of the marriage. Yes, we were both inexperienced and vanilla so to speak. But hey one time we were on vacation, driving though some forest, when we decided we were both horny. Having a blanket in the back of the car... She was strong in character and she didn't mind showing that she could be strong physically. She was never a gym goer but she certainly was fit. Like as in lean fit just like me when we got married. And yet I identify gay. Yes, sometimes I look at that and say wtf you have to be Bi, but I'm not. This is how I feel so this is how I say - I'm gay and always have been.

I was on a date last night and I felt nothing for the guy. I made sure I took cash so that I could put money down and scram if I choose. Turns out we both had that idea. LoL All cool because I had a failed date. Been a while. The first night I met my ex was a double date. I ended up dropping my pants and showing her my butt upon her request. LoL

That person she was I miss horribly day in and day out. When I say I hurt over the kids that is not the entire truth. I hurt from all of it and i'd give anything to have that "partner" back. So I have a rather dim view of "Marriage (certificate)" and an rather high view of what "partner" means.


And please point out where I assumed two people can't love each other under those circumstances?

It was very much implied with the following:

This seems very narrow-minded.

Note that my positive experience of being married hasn't led me to think that everyone should get married, or that it's "fucked up" for someone to decide that marriage is not for them. I don't presume to make such judgments about other people.

I sympathise with your experience, truly I do, but I must remind you that not everyone shares it.


You somehow think that all those 25+ years, and with kids, I don't have so much positive experiences that I don't really regret it all. Just it still hurts so bad exactly because of that.

One last thought, relationships and physical attractions - different for different people. You have a different view, I have a different view and others have a different views. Perhaps your not as open minded as you think on those subjects.
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby René » 20 September 2019, 20:01

mxguy01 wrote:First I realize I said a lot of mean and hurtful things about my ex wife. Some true. Some misleading, not intentionally but because of my emotional reaction to it each time I guess.

Thank you for acknowledging that.

mxguy01 wrote:Romantically: Admittedly my first time with a guy was quite an experience and perhaps I simply never knew what I was missing. But maybe part of that experience was because it was so repressed for so long. That's now. Going back, I made that choice, for me. Technically you could say I was somewhere between straight and asexual and not gay if you get that point. But yes, I knew. My choice how to live was my choice. Your partner, I assume you trust to no end, you do things for each other, you commit to and stay that way (never cheat on each other), you face difficulties in life, you support each other emotionally, you know how to read each other even when the other is trying not to be read and you respect that unless, ... What of any of that do you think I did not have? Now add kids. You know how when you both face challenges together how that brings you closer? Both delivers were difficult. We were worried we were going to loose our son. My daughter was born early too. I ended up going on a short trip for work. Everything was fine (no sign of any issues) so and it was still early so I went. We were talking that night and I could tell something was off. She had went to the doctor and there was some minor issues (skipping details). At least that was what I was told. We finished our conversation and I started packing and calling travel who put me on standby on 1st flight and I made it home. A close call for missing it. You ask romantically, I'd say I had an attraction to her like no other person who walked the earth because of who she was. Unfortunately the use of "was" rather than "is".

Physically: Well I've dumped enough other personal stuff so why hold back. Again it wasn't that as much as my bitterness of the ending I guess that would lead you to think not. Here again I've also made some hurtful comments some even true which should not have been mentioned. That crap was at the end. I made note that the marriage died before I was served the papers. Like a lot of things in life I don't let go very easy for better and certainly for worse as well. So maybe dump some of the good. My ex had small tits. She was a bit self conscience about them. Me, I really liked that. Honestly I don't care one bit for big ones as they just seem to get in the way. Small ones are a different story. Over time she realized I wasn't kidding her and she really got less self conscience about them. Cool huh. I joke about vagina now but well, she was on the pill, we didn't need to use a condom. Early in our marriage, every day I woke up with a hard on we took care of it. Admittedly some times we both didn't feel like it. Very few times just one wasn't into it. In no case was it any issue in the beginning of the marriage. Yes, we were both inexperienced and vanilla so to speak. But hey one time we were on vacation, driving though some forest, when we decided we were both horny. Having a blanket in the back of the car... She was strong in character and she didn't mind showing that she could be strong physically. She was never a gym goer but she certainly was fit. Like as in lean fit just like me when we got married. And yet I identify gay. Yes, sometimes I look at that and say wtf you have to be Bi, but I'm not. This is how I feel so this is how I say - I'm gay and always have been.

I was on a date last night and I felt nothing for the guy. I made sure I took cash so that I could put money down and scram if I choose. Turns out we both had that idea. LoL All cool because I had a failed date. Been a while. The first night I met my ex was a double date. I ended up dropping my pants and showing her my butt upon her request. LoL

That person she was I miss horribly day in and day out. When I say I hurt over the kids that is not the entire truth. I hurt from all of it and i'd give anything to have that "partner" back.

If you were attracted to this woman in every way that matters to you, you seemed to enjoy having sex with her, you were clearly capable of having a happy life with her, in fact you really miss being with her the way she used to be, etc... does it really make sense to call yourself "100% gay"? I have to say, that really threw me off.

I know many guys apply the term "gay" to themselves for convenience because it's mostly accurate, even if (for example) they actually do like the odd girl. But they don't usually call themselves "100% gay". :P

mxguy01 wrote:
And please point out where I assumed two people can't love each other under those circumstances?

It was very much implied with the following:

This seems very narrow-minded.

Note that my positive experience of being married hasn't led me to think that everyone should get married, or that it's "fucked up" for someone to decide that marriage is not for them. I don't presume to make such judgments about other people.

I sympathise with your experience, truly I do, but I must remind you that not everyone shares it.


You somehow think that all those 25+ years, and with kids, I don't have so much positive experiences that I don't really regret it all. Just it still hurts so bad exactly because of that.

I'm sorry you took it that way — I never assumed it was all bad. But you made it very clear that you suffered an extremely miserable divorce that you wouldn't wish on anyone. That is what triggered my sympathy.

mxguy01 wrote:One last thought, relationships and physical attractions - different for different people. You have a different view, I have a different view and others have a different views. Perhaps your not as open minded as you think on those subjects.

Saying you think it's totally fucked up that gays want to get married isn't exactly the pinnacle of open-mindedness, though, is it?

That's what I took issue with.
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 20 September 2019, 22:00

René wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:First I realize I said a lot of mean and hurtful things about my ex wife. Some true. Some misleading, not intentionally but because of my emotional reaction to it each time I guess.

Thank you for acknowledging that.

mxguy01 wrote:Romantically: Admittedly my first time with a guy was quite an experience and perhaps I simply never knew what I was missing. But maybe part of that experience was because it was so repressed for so long. That's now. Going back, I made that choice, for me. Technically you could say I was somewhere between straight and asexual and not gay if you get that point. But yes, I knew. My choice how to live was my choice. Your partner, I assume you trust to no end, you do things for each other, you commit to and stay that way (never cheat on each other), you face difficulties in life, you support each other emotionally, you know how to read each other even when the other is trying not to be read and you respect that unless, ... What of any of that do you think I did not have? Now add kids. You know how when you both face challenges together how that brings you closer? Both delivers were difficult. We were worried we were going to loose our son. My daughter was born early too. I ended up going on a short trip for work. Everything was fine (no sign of any issues) so and it was still early so I went. We were talking that night and I could tell something was off. She had went to the doctor and there was some minor issues (skipping details). At least that was what I was told. We finished our conversation and I started packing and calling travel who put me on standby on 1st flight and I made it home. A close call for missing it. You ask romantically, I'd say I had an attraction to her like no other person who walked the earth because of who she was. Unfortunately the use of "was" rather than "is".

Physically: Well I've dumped enough other personal stuff so why hold back. Again it wasn't that as much as my bitterness of the ending I guess that would lead you to think not. Here again I've also made some hurtful comments some even true which should not have been mentioned. That crap was at the end. I made note that the marriage died before I was served the papers. Like a lot of things in life I don't let go very easy for better and certainly for worse as well. So maybe dump some of the good. My ex had small tits. She was a bit self conscience about them. Me, I really liked that. Honestly I don't care one bit for big ones as they just seem to get in the way. Small ones are a different story. Over time she realized I wasn't kidding her and she really got less self conscience about them. Cool huh. I joke about vagina now but well, she was on the pill, we didn't need to use a condom. Early in our marriage, every day I woke up with a hard on we took care of it. Admittedly some times we both didn't feel like it. Very few times just one wasn't into it. In no case was it any issue in the beginning of the marriage. Yes, we were both inexperienced and vanilla so to speak. But hey one time we were on vacation, driving though some forest, when we decided we were both horny. Having a blanket in the back of the car... She was strong in character and she didn't mind showing that she could be strong physically. She was never a gym goer but she certainly was fit. Like as in lean fit just like me when we got married. And yet I identify gay. Yes, sometimes I look at that and say wtf you have to be Bi, but I'm not. This is how I feel so this is how I say - I'm gay and always have been.

I was on a date last night and I felt nothing for the guy. I made sure I took cash so that I could put money down and scram if I choose. Turns out we both had that idea. LoL All cool because I had a failed date. Been a while. The first night I met my ex was a double date. I ended up dropping my pants and showing her my butt upon her request. LoL

That person she was I miss horribly day in and day out. When I say I hurt over the kids that is not the entire truth. I hurt from all of it and i'd give anything to have that "partner" back.

If you were attracted to this woman in every way that matters to you, you seemed to enjoy having sex with her, you were clearly capable of having a happy life with her, in fact you really miss being with her the way she used to be, etc... does it really make sense to call yourself "100% gay"? I have to say, that really threw me off.

I know many guys apply the term "gay" to themselves for convenience because it's mostly accurate, even if (for example) they actually do like the odd girl. But they don't usually call themselves "100% gay". :P

mxguy01 wrote:
And please point out where I assumed two people can't love each other under those circumstances?

It was very much implied with the following:

This seems very narrow-minded.

Note that my positive experience of being married hasn't led me to think that everyone should get married, or that it's "fucked up" for someone to decide that marriage is not for them. I don't presume to make such judgments about other people.

I sympathise with your experience, truly I do, but I must remind you that not everyone shares it.


You somehow think that all those 25+ years, and with kids, I don't have so much positive experiences that I don't really regret it all. Just it still hurts so bad exactly because of that.

I'm sorry you took it that way — I never assumed it was all bad. But you made it very clear that you suffered an extremely miserable divorce that you wouldn't wish on anyone. That is what triggered my sympathy.

mxguy01 wrote:One last thought, relationships and physical attractions - different for different people. You have a different view, I have a different view and others have a different views. Perhaps your not as open minded as you think on those subjects.

Saying you think it's totally fucked up that gays want to get married isn't exactly the pinnacle of open-mindedness, though, is it?

That's what I took issue with.


I get all that and you not only have my apologies but my respect as had been the case.

Yes, acknowledging that has been a long time coming. More like willing to verbally express it and confront it. Yeah, I cry every damn day and its not just about the kids it's all if it.

Yes, I even question that 100% gay part. I kinda want to experience a threesome. I've expressed that sharing before. At a point I caught myself thinking want about a bi guy who's wife knows... I could do that... But I also know I would be looking at the guy the whole time observantly. The female thing would be more like a sex toy for me in that case. My wife verson 1 was my partner every bit as much as you have yours. Yes, they were different. Yes, I refuse comparisons.

Again I should say legal-marriage-certificate is .... The rest is what it's about. When I say I don't think I'll be capable of a relationship again I pretended it was because it was so bad at the end. Quite the opposite, it was so good for so long, nothing will ever come anywhere near that again for me. I'm ok with that. I did have it. It ran a good long course. I do wish the outcome was different but read below in my signature. It's not the destination.

I guess I write it outright for the first time. I cry because I miss her as much as all the rest of it. Twenty five years 3 months went by pretty fast. The years of the kids seems like a freight train rolling through my life - heavy, fast, unstopping. But it was way more than the kids too. Anyone with half a brain would look at those kids and see us both in them. They are an example of what me and my ex were capable of working together on and accomplishing. I spoke about having different phases of ones life and that one's goals change from phase to phase. Same for partners. Our goals changed. We went from not wanting kids to really wanting them. More importantly we both go to the point where we each though we were ready and capable. So we went for it. It was amazing how we always seemed to agree on everything even through those changing phases. Oh, and we always had each others back. No questions. Me missing all that will never stop; I know that now.

Sorry for the hate, pain and anger I've expressed; I've know for a while I've given that false impression because of it and it needed corrected here.
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby René » 20 September 2019, 22:16

:hug:
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 20 September 2019, 23:49

mxguy01 wrote:Sorry for the hate, pain and anger I've expressed; I've know for a while I've given that false impression because of it and it needed corrected here.

I accept your apology. Just don’t let it happen again.
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 21 September 2019, 00:16

poolerboy0077 wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:Sorry for the hate, pain and anger I've expressed; I've know for a while I've given that false impression because of it and it needed corrected here.

I accept your apology. Just don’t let it happen again.


Good to hear from you PB! No shit. LoL
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby Jryski » 21 September 2019, 15:12

:psyduck: :psyduck: :psyduck:
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby Derek » 21 September 2019, 17:57

Who will René bludgeon and defeat with his relentless tact next? Are none of us safe?
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 21 September 2019, 18:30

They clearly made a mistake in snubbing René for the Mr. Rogers movie.
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby PandaBoo » 29 September 2019, 16:48

No, never used a male escort.

mxguy01 wrote:Escort - fancy word for a prostitute


Incorrect.

They are two different subjects.

Prostitutes primary goal is to make money via sex while an escort charges for the time that they are present with the client.

Prostitutes are specifically required to perform a sexual act. Some clients do not require escorts to perform sexual acts.

There is a reason why two different terms exist.
Please note the message above was written by a troll who has since been banned.
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Re: Have you ever used a male escort?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 1 October 2019, 17:09

PandaBoo wrote:No, never used a male escort.

mxguy01 wrote:Escort - fancy word for a prostitute


Incorrect.

They are two different subjects.

Prostitutes primary goal is to make money via sex while an escort charges for the time that they are present with the client.

Prostitutes are specifically required to perform a sexual act. Some clients do not require escorts to perform sexual acts.

There is a reason why two different terms exist.


Go back and re-read the OP's original post. Now tell me, prostitute or escort? Actually I'm neither being judgmental nor dense. I'm pointing out >it is what it is< that's all.
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