Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

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Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Throwaway022002 » 10 September 2019, 03:28

Long story short I hooked up with a guy on grindr last night. I rimmed him, gave him oral sex, and was the insertive partner without a condom. Stupid I know. I was a little drunk and made a poor decision.

I talked to him today and shared my concerns. He said he is in a open relationship with his boyfriend (who is monogamous), gets tested every 3-4 months, and is pretty selective. He told me he's on Prep and sent me screen shots of his test results from May. He even asked if I had any condoms with me before we had sex.

Naturally I'm worried. May was a long time ago and, while he's been honest with me and from what I can tell has no reason to lie, I don't know him. The sex was pretty short so contact was brief and I didn't see any blood or sores.

I went to the clinic today and was preemptively treated for gonorrhea and chlamydia. I was offered PeP but since I don't have insurance I would be stuck paying almost $3k. I make too much to qualify for assistance.

I spoke to the Dr and he said what I did was relatively low risk for a single encounter and encouraged me that I should be fine but would be more than willing to write the prescription.

What would you guys do? I told the clinic I would call them tomorrow on my decision on PeP since I still have time. I know $3k is nothing compared to having HIV but wanted some inpit/advice from those more knowledgeable.

Thanks in advance!
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Eryx » 10 September 2019, 03:47

If he takes PrEP without fault, it's basically impossible for him to give you HIV, but you never know. If he forgets some days or takes it in irregular intervals, there could be some risk. Still, from what you shared, I think he probably follows the regime.

It sucks that you're in the US, because usually PEP is free for other countries. You have a 72-hour window to begin treatment and it's pretty effective. After that, it isn't proven that it helps at all. If you've still got time to do it, even if it's going to set you back a considerable amount of money, you should probably go for it, because from what I understand, HIV treatment is pretty expensive there, right?

Or maybe just go to Canada and get the medicine. I don't really know.

All in all, you're very low risk from what you shared. I wouldn't be too worried. Good luck, either way!
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Throwaway022002 » 10 September 2019, 03:58

Thanks man, I'm willing to pay the money just debating if there really was a significant risk to justify it. If I had bottomed with a "Bug Chaser" or drug user or something like that it would be an easier decision. He doesn't seem the type and is very communicative and open.
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 10 September 2019, 07:28

You never know but if he is actually on prep, you're overreacting imo. But, learn your lesson, never, ever without a condom. I suspect many have caused themselves the same scare. I never leave home without my condoms, lube and sunscreen. LoL
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 10 September 2019, 15:37

I've been really thinking about going on PreP myself. Prior I didn't like the possible side effects but I'm starting to look at it if I go on Prep now it is a pill I can at sometime in the future decide to stop taking. If I contract HIV then I would end up having to take medication daily with no choice and forever live in fear... Oh, and I'd still use a condom for casual sex.
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Throwaway022002 » 10 September 2019, 20:48

So I went to the clinic again today and went for the Pep. I'd rather be safe than sorry and have a bad decision have a long lasting affect on my life. They were actually able to cover the cost for this one time. I've learned my lesson and am going to reevaluate how I conduct myself as to not put myself in this position again.
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Eryx » 11 September 2019, 02:51

That's fantastic! Now don't forget to take it every day and you're golden.
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby Throwaway022002 » 11 September 2019, 03:09

You know it bud. The total cost out of pocket would have been almost $4000 out of pocket. You know I'll be taking every single one of these things.

I'm super grateful that they covered the cost and that I returned to the clinic. I feel so much relief. I don't think I could live with myself if god forbid I did become infected and I didn't do anything to prevent it.

This has been a wakeup call. No more drunken hookups for me. It's just not worth the stress.

Thanks again for your advice.
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Re: Hooked up with a guy on grindr. Now worried.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 11 September 2019, 14:42

IMO drunken hookup wasn't the problem. You sound normal so far on the forum. LoL as we get some weird people here. just make up your mind to always use a condom and be picky about who you choose from a safety aspect.

Myself I find sex while intoxicated on alcohol entirety lacking. Now I do actually like smoking a little 420 beforehand.

I gave myself a little scare myself. From then on I always have condoms with me everywhere I go. Never know when you find that opportunity and you just need to be committed to safe practices for your own health and we'll being. You gotta let yourself live; just take reasonable precautions.
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