Hookup to lose virginity

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Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Anno_boy » 5 June 2021, 10:30

Hey all,
I am in a contact with a boy who is 3 years older then me, who would like to hookup with me. I would like that too, but i feel like its a weird thing to do since im still a virgin. I was wondering if you guys have any opinions on losing ur virginity through a hookup (i dont know him personally)?
Btw it would be legal for both of us
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby ghostspaces » 5 June 2021, 11:49

I don't see anything wrong with it. Just make sure he knows and shows willingness to be patient.
Might even be more fun than with someone you actually have feelings for because you worry less about disappointing the other.
Better to have flamed in the darkness, to have
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Brenden » 5 June 2021, 13:45

ghostspaces wrote:Might even be more fun than with someone you actually have feelings for because you worry less about disappointing the other.

If the other is someone who would let "disappointing" sex spoil a relationship in any way, then perhaps that person isn't someone you should waste feelings on.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Eryx » 5 June 2021, 14:13

First times suck anyway, I think the whole "first time needs to be special" thing is overrated.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby PopTart » 5 June 2021, 16:07

Eryx wrote:First times suck anyway.

Honest to god, don't remember mine.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby sloomingbla » 5 June 2021, 16:12

Course, just stay safe and watch out for poop butt
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby SpookySpector » 5 June 2021, 17:03

sloomingbla wrote:Course, just stay safe and watch out for poop butt

Charming
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby sloomingbla » 5 June 2021, 17:24

Just saying, lmao. My first time I didn't use a condom, and for whatever reason assumed the guy I was with would be clean. He wasn't :rolleyes:

And in all seriousness, no I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's just practice and good fun. I've heard from many the term "Don't waste your first time on the one you love".
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Anno_boy » 5 June 2021, 17:49

Idk how to quote reactions on this site so ill just do it this way

Ghostspaces
Yeah he knows im a virgin and well start with just a blowjob anyway, so that’ll be fine

Eryx
Is it though? I guess im afraid that my future bf would think that its weird or something

Sloomingbla
Hahah yeah i am aware, we will use a condom and i do know how to clean
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby ghostspaces » 5 June 2021, 18:04

Brenden wrote:
ghostspaces wrote:Might even be more fun than with someone you actually have feelings for because you worry less about disappointing the other.

If the other is someone who would let "disappointing" sex spoil a relationship in any way, then perhaps that person isn't someone you should waste feelings on.


Maybe "disappointing" wasn't the best choice of words. I meant that when you have feelings for someone you might be a lot more worried about the other person having a good time aswell. Not that you shouldn't care if it's a random stranger but if it doesn't go well you can just close that chapter and not see each other again.
Better to have flamed in the darkness, to have
inspired others, to have lived, than to have sat
in the darkness, cursing the people who
borrowed, but did not return, your candle.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Brenden » 5 June 2021, 18:24

Eryx wrote:First times suck anyway, I think the whole "first time needs to be special" thing is overrated.

They don't need to be special, but isn't it nicer to share a sucky experience with someone who likes you enough that it doesn't matter, who you can feel secure having a sucky experience with?

I imagine my confidence would have been hurt had I just had sex with some random guy who didn't care about me and my feelings and it went poorly.

For the record, my first time didn't suck. It was amazing, and it solidified the bond with the person who has now been my husband for 11 years.

I think people who think their first times "sucked" think that because they evaluate them as purely physical and transactional interactions.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby René » 5 June 2021, 18:25

Brenden wrote:
Eryx wrote:First times suck anyway, I think the whole "first time needs to be special" thing is overrated.

They don't need to be special, but isn't it nicer to share a sucky experience with someone who likes you enough that it doesn't matter, who you can feel secure having a sucky experience with?

I imagine my confidence would have been hurt had I just had sex with some random guy who didn't care about me and my feelings and it went poorly.

For the record, my first time didn't suck. It was amazing, and it solidified the bond with the person who has now been my husband for 11 years.

I think people who think their first times "sucked" think that because they evaluate them as purely physical and transactional interactions.

:heart:
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Brenden » 5 June 2021, 18:27

ghostspaces wrote:
Brenden wrote:
ghostspaces wrote:Might even be more fun than with someone you actually have feelings for because you worry less about disappointing the other.

If the other is someone who would let "disappointing" sex spoil a relationship in any way, then perhaps that person isn't someone you should waste feelings on.

Maybe "disappointing" wasn't the best choice of words. I meant that when you have feelings for someone you might be a lot more worried about the other person having a good time aswell. Not that you shouldn't care if it's a random stranger but if it doesn't go well you can just close that chapter and not see each other again.

Sex with someone you have feelings for, especially if those feelings are reciprocal, is so much more than the physical act and physical sensations.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby betonhaus » 5 June 2021, 19:40

I feel like best case scenario is to lose your virginity to someone is patient and knows the basics of gay sex and is someone you trust enough to be comfortable with.

I rarely bottom because my very first time was mediocre/bad experience that I thought I was okay with but for weeks after I catch myself muttering "no!" to myself.

I did find a couple guys that I met as a hookup and I see once in a while now because they are nice and have the same level of over sharing and distraction during sex that I have and Ill bottom for them without a second thought.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Eryx » 5 June 2021, 19:59

Brenden wrote:
Eryx wrote:First times suck anyway, I think the whole "first time needs to be special" thing is overrated.
They don't need to be special, but isn't it nicer to share a sucky experience with someone who likes you enough that it doesn't matter, who you can feel secure having a sucky experience with?

I imagine my confidence would have been hurt had I just had sex with some random guy who didn't care about me and my feelings and it went poorly.

For the record, my first time didn't suck. It was amazing, and it solidified the bond with the person who has now been my husband for 11 years.

I think people who think their first times "sucked" think that because they evaluate them as purely physical and transactional interactions.
Yeah, I know. I'm just saying he doesn't need to pressure himself about it. He can go out with someone who he's been talking to and end up having sex, or maybe it could be a friend, or maybe he could to the the back of an alley. It could be good and interesting in any place, and it could be bad. Most times, it's not that great. It's just an experience that indefinitely feels like you're passing through a portal. Then it becomes a little more trivial. At least, for most people.

It's not a great happening of our lifetime as it may seem, however. It fades away pretty quickly as you get used to having sexual activity be part of your life. So yeah, people should still thrive to have good, comfortable sex when they first experience it, but if it's just to get it done with, it works just as well.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby René » 5 June 2021, 20:31

Eryx wrote:It's not a great happening of our lifetime as it may seem, however. It fades away pretty quickly as you get used to having sexual activity be part of your life.

Is it unusual that it's still incredible and occasionally mind-blowing for me, Brenden and our boyfriend? :P
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby Brenden » 6 June 2021, 01:41

Eryx wrote:or maybe he could to the the back of an alley.

Oh, yeah, wow, that's totally a healthy lifestyle!

Really, such a good mindset about sex. Really sets people up for a happy, healthy life.

Nope, doesn't lead to lonely, diseased, vain, meaningless lives. Not at all.
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 6 June 2021, 05:30

René wrote:
Eryx wrote:It's not a great happening of our lifetime as it may seem, however. It fades away pretty quickly as you get used to having sexual activity be part of your life.

Is it unusual that it's still incredible and occasionally mind-blowing for me, Brenden and our boyfriend? :P


Maybe, I don't know. But it certainly sounds like a good thing!
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 6 June 2021, 05:31

Eryx wrote:
Brenden wrote:
Eryx wrote:First times suck anyway, I think the whole "first time needs to be special" thing is overrated.
They don't need to be special, but isn't it nicer to share a sucky experience with someone who likes you enough that it doesn't matter, who you can feel secure having a sucky experience with?

I imagine my confidence would have been hurt had I just had sex with some random guy who didn't care about me and my feelings and it went poorly.

For the record, my first time didn't suck. It was amazing, and it solidified the bond with the person who has now been my husband for 11 years.

I think people who think their first times "sucked" think that because they evaluate them as purely physical and transactional interactions.
Yeah, I know. I'm just saying he doesn't need to pressure himself about it. He can go out with someone who he's been talking to and end up having sex, or maybe it could be a friend, or maybe he could to the the back of an alley. It could be good and interesting in any place, and it could be bad. Most times, it's not that great. It's just an experience that indefinitely feels like you're passing through a portal. Then it becomes a little more trivial. At least, for most people.

It's not a great happening of our lifetime as it may seem, however. It fades away pretty quickly as you get used to having sexual activity be part of your life. So yeah, people should still thrive to have good, comfortable sex when they first experience it, but if it's just to get it done with, it works just as well.


Unfortunately, Eryx, you're fighting a losing battle here. God Himself could come down from on high and tell Brenden he's wrong about this, and Brenden still wouldn't believe it. :lol:
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Re: Hookup to lose virginity

Unread postby McTaggartfan » 6 June 2021, 05:32

Brenden wrote:
Eryx wrote:or maybe he could to the the back of an alley.

Oh, yeah, wow, that's totally a healthy lifestyle!

Really, such a good mindset about sex. Really sets people up for a happy, healthy life.

Nope, doesn't lead to lonely, diseased, vain, meaningless lives. Not at all.


Play nice lol
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