How do you get over a hookup?

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How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby kyleleavensworth » 19 May 2021, 04:14

Hi all 😊

I had my first grinder hook up last week and it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. The guy was so fit and sexy I probably wasn’t on his level but it was insane. After he left, he just stopped contacting me. I cried this entire week because I wanted more out of him. I felt like if he was going to have sex with me then he probably had something for me. The feeling is like finding a porn video or model that you like and not knowing the name of it. Then you lose the link to the video.
How do I get over him?
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby René » 19 May 2021, 06:30

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of advice for you, but sadly it's a common story. I think the focus on sex over building connections and relationships is a big problem among gay men, especially in the US from what I've seen.

The last time I had to get over someone I had a massive crush on, I did it by falling for someone else (though not on purpose, and I can imagine it's hard to even try to think about looking for someone else right now).

In any event, Tinder may be a better place to look than Grindr in the future to reduce the likelihood of this sort of sad experience happening again?

I've only had sex with guys I was either in a relationship or starting to develop mutual feelings with. The only time I did something that could be classed as hooking up, I got feelings too and just got super-lucky they were reciprocated.
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby glückspilz » 20 May 2021, 17:42

You want to get over him? Just jump right into the next hook up!

You should always be aware of what you are going to do. As you said, you found your first hook up and hook ups are meant to be a one time show (mostly). If he's superb then save the experience as something wonderful and unique happened to you. Don't expect love.
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby Ballparkdogg » 9 June 2021, 05:53

turning a one time sex hookup into a relationship is a big mistake. You want someone that will move heaven and earth to be with you.. not a hookup from an app
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby René » 9 June 2021, 19:26

Ballparkdogg wrote:turning a one time sex hookup into a relationship is a big mistake. You want someone that will move heaven and earth to be with you.. not a hookup from an app

Hey, sometimes it works. Probably not most times, but there are some gems out there. I'm in a relationship that's been going for more than a year now which started from a threesome Grindr hookup, and it's wonderful and I think has the potential to end up being lifelong.

I wouldn't look on Grindr specifically for a relationship, but it can happen. It's not necessarily a big mistake.
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby Yeskat » 10 June 2021, 05:29

René wrote:
Ballparkdogg wrote:turning a one time sex hookup into a relationship is a big mistake. You want someone that will move heaven and earth to be with you.. not a hookup from an app

Hey, sometimes it works. Probably not most times, but there are some gems out there. I'm in a relationship that's been going for more than a year now which started from a threesome Grindr hookup, and it's wonderful and I think has the potential to end up being lifelong.

I wouldn't look on Grindr specifically for a relationship, but it can happen. It's not necessarily a big mistake.


The OP prob should not be using Grindr if they get emotionally hurt from hookups. As it is mostly for experiences like the op described. No point in hurting himself emotionally on hookups until he gets desensitized. It is not good for mental health.
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby Ballparkdogg » 11 June 2021, 01:00

A hookup is just that quick sex. While some may connect most are there just to get off. Do yourself a favor don’t try to start up a relationship from a one time fuck. Let go and have fun
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Re: How do you get over a hookup?

Unread postby Eryx » 13 June 2021, 19:42

Learn to set the right expectations, that will help prevent you from having to go through this again. Do more hookups, be with friends, find a better meaning. If there was a perfect solution, you wouldn't have to ask. Well, I mean, there is Xanax, but that's addictive and won't solve your problems if you're inclined to fall in love with anyone half-decent you fuck.
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