How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

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How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby littlebat » 19 November 2018, 12:04

Hi. I engaged in BDSM (particularly milking and CBT) a few years ago. My desire grew bigger and bigger, and I found it scary because I always can find someone who demands more pain or more shame. So I deleted Recon, stopped contacting anyone from the BDSM community, and stopped practicing it.

My girl-friends told me I need to stop fulfilling my desires because I'm seeking more and more excitement (I get high when seeing men in pain) and a gay friend says inflicting pain on others to get high is not logical, it is the same as hurting animals, even if the guys say they like it.

When I dated a guy a few years ago (I didn't practice BDSM, just watched those type of porn), I didn't tell him my interest in that area and we just had vanilla (anal) as standard. I never enjoyed it.

I know BDSM is not a disorder, but if my sadist needs is only due to a lack of understanding what love is (my dad kinds abused me mildly when I was a kid, which might have planted a seed of "if a guy loves you, he'll hurt you" in me.

I don't know why I've become like this... And I'm not sure what to do at this point... :( Should I stop watching BDSM porn starting from now too?
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Eryx » 19 November 2018, 13:32

littlebat wrote:[...]

My girl-friends told me I need to stop fulfilling my desires because I'm seeking more and more excitement (I get high when seeing men in pain) and a gay friend says inflicting pain on others to get high is not logical, it is the same as hurting animals, even if the guys say they like it.

[...]

Should I stop watching BDSM porn starting from now too?
I disagree. Animals can't consent and some people simply do like the pleasure of pain. You're not hurting someone who wants painful pleasure, you're just giving them what they want. Another way to think it is, if you're not there to do it, someone else will. And why not enjoy it if it's out there?

As long as you're safe in all regards and respect the other person's wishes if they stop enjoying it, there's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your freak fly high. At least that's how I feel.
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby littlebat » 20 November 2018, 03:44

Eryx wrote:
littlebat wrote:[...]

My girl-friends told me I need to stop fulfilling my desires because I'm seeking more and more excitement (I get high when seeing men in pain) and a gay friend says inflicting pain on others to get high is not logical, it is the same as hurting animals, even if the guys say they like it.

[...]

Should I stop watching BDSM porn starting from now too?
I disagree. Animals can't consent and some people simply do like the pleasure of pain. You're not hurting someone who wants painful pleasure, you're just giving them what they want. Another way to think it is, if you're not there to do it, someone else will. And why not enjoy it if it's out there?

As long as you're safe in all regards and respect the other person's wishes if they stop enjoying it, there's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your freak fly high. At least that's how I feel.

What convinced me was my gay friend says "if you love someone, you don't want to hurt them", which makes me question do I know what love is
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Marmaduke » 25 November 2018, 11:22

Your desires are unavoidably influenced by the stimulus you expose yourself too. Perhaps a break from BDSM porn for a few months may deliver you a changed perspective.
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby littlebat » 26 November 2018, 09:21

Marmaduke wrote:Your desires are unavoidably influenced by the stimulus you expose yourself too. Perhaps a break from BDSM porn for a few months may deliver you a changed perspective.

Ok, I'll try
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Marmaduke » 26 November 2018, 09:35

littlebat wrote:
Marmaduke wrote:Your desires are unavoidably influenced by the stimulus you expose yourself too. Perhaps a break from BDSM porn for a few months may deliver you a changed perspective.

Ok, I'll try

No! Try not! DO or DO NOT! There is no try!
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Joshvangogh94 » 27 November 2018, 02:01

My advice is that you stop watching porn. It’s a horrible, savage and mind-controlling industry that serves no positives. Sounds harsh but it’s fucked my generation well and truly.
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Derek » 27 November 2018, 04:30

littlebat wrote:my dad kinds abused me mildly when I was a kid, which might have planted a seed of "if a guy loves you, he'll hurt you" in me.

Is this sort of logic accepted in the psychiatric community? Do fetishes evolve as a result of how we associate our experiences in early childhood? If that was how it worked, you'd think I'd get turned on every time I was neglected.
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Re: How to Cure My Sadistic Desire

Unread postby Eryx » 28 November 2018, 13:44

littlebat wrote:What convinced me was my gay friend says "if you love someone, you don't want to hurt them", which makes me question do I know what love is
What you do in bed for pleasure doesn't have anything to do with affection.
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