How to practice safer sex.

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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Brenden » 28 October 2021, 21:46

Simonsub wrote:
Petite wrote:
Twilight66 wrote:Although mostly straight, I have given oral sex a couple of times without the other guy wearing a condom. It seemed to me that the pleasure I derived from the act was mostly due to the sensual feeling of my mouth on his skin, and feeling how his cock reacted without any barriers to dull the pleasure both for him and me. I have heard that the chance of getting AIDS from giving oral sex is extremely low. Anybody have some real facts/stats about this issue?

Same here, giving oral with a condom just doesn't make sense. I think it's virtually impossible to transmit aids through oral..

It's still possible but it is said that your stomach acid will kill the HIV bacteria. Risk is possible if you have mouth ulcers or sores.

HIV — Human Immunodeficiency Virus — is, as the name implies, a virus, not a bacterium.

Simonsub wrote:I have performed oral sex on hundreds if guys and never with a condom...ugh!...but there will always be some risk.

You'll be happy to learn that the risk from receptive oral is less than 1 in 10,000 exposures, according to the CDC.

However, you risk from many other STIs, such as HPV which might cause oral/throat cancer or hide in tissue and then cause dementia later in life, is very high. :shake:
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Simonsub » 7 November 2021, 19:09

"You'll be happy to learn that the risk from receptive oral is less than 1 in 10,000 exposures, according to the CDC."

very happy to learn that Brendon :-)

Simon :-)
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby happyalice » 20 November 2021, 17:55

It's all about trusting your partner, and if you don't, you'd better take care of your health and protect yourself, but it's up to you.) :english:
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Justablondguy » 5 February 2022, 21:26

this is very easy,
Don't stick it in without covering your or your partners willie. Period!
Don't spend a life on taking HIV meds because the guy your dating for 2 weeks now you think its safe not to use them. WRONG!!
Believe me I know many people throughout my life (I'm 51) who got it because they thought that. Some have passed away.
Have condoms with you in the car and next to the bed always. otherwise in "the moment" you WILL not use them if they aren't readily available.
BE true to yourself and respect yourself and the person your having sex with to use condoms and don't forget lube.. gotta have lots of that and towels to clean up after. duh moment.
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby pozzie » 7 February 2022, 22:53

Petite wrote:I think it's virtually impossible to transmit aids through oral..


sorry, but this isn't true unless the 'bottom' has impeccable oral hygiene and health

however, it can be said it is safer than unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, but that's only relatively speaking
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby ayushiest » 9 February 2022, 23:04

Condoms are the best way to have safer sex!
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Simonsub » 10 February 2022, 20:00

Condoms are certainly one of the most protective ways of having sex but definitely not the best way!
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby pozzie » 10 February 2022, 20:12

Simonsub wrote:Condoms are certainly one of the most protective ways of having sex but definitely not the best way!


so, end the suspense, what do you see as "the best way"?
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Brenden » 10 February 2022, 20:46

pozzie wrote:
Petite wrote:I think it's virtually impossible to transmit aids through oral..

sorry, but this isn't true unless the 'bottom' has impeccable oral hygiene and health

however, it can be said it is safer than unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, but that's only relatively speaking

Sorry, but <1 per 10,000 exposures (<0.01%) as per the CDC is "virtually impossible" in the typical sense of the phrase.
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby pozzie » 10 February 2022, 22:31

Brenden wrote:
pozzie wrote:
Petite wrote:I think it's virtually impossible to transmit aids through oral..

sorry, but this isn't true unless the 'bottom' has impeccable oral hygiene and health

however, it can be said it is safer than unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, but that's only relatively speaking

Sorry, but <1 per 10,000 exposures (<0.01%) as per the CDC is "virtually impossible" in the typical sense of the phrase.


I won't try and dispute that, but it's clearly a heavily reduced statement of risk for easy dissemination. Again, oral is generally assumed "low risk" with the assumption of extremely good oral health and, well, probably, not swallowing although swallowing isn't that risky thanks to stomach acid. But think about it, have you ever eaten a potato chip/crisp and cut your gum or the side of your mouth? Think about then giving a blow job. And then there is the issue related to gingivitis.

I truly believe the statement you've referenced is true, but assumes that there are no cuts or abrasions in the mouth and throat nor other oral health related issues.

Low risk is not no risk. The CDC mentions

But risks do add up over time. Even relatively small risks can add up over time and lead to a high lifetime risk of getting HIV. In other words, there may be a relatively small chance of acquiring HIV when engaging in a risk behavior with an infected partner only once; but, if repeated many times, the overall likelihood of becoming infected after repeated exposures is actually much higher.


Finally, I've implied elsewhere that I seroconverted from sexual exposure. I can say with reasonable surety that didn't happen from unprotected anal intercourse. You can figure out the rest.
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby GayinIndiana » 11 February 2022, 04:45

To quote Sue Johanson: "Before you go into heat, cover your meat".
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby pozzie » 11 February 2022, 05:12

LOL! While I won't tell anyone they should or shouldn't engage in safe or unsafe sex, I do STRONGLY encourage people to become very knowledgeable and make decisions long before the blood rushes to the once dangly bits. Two things I don't enjoy (from others) are morning after regrets, especially the second and THIRD! time, or guys crying out something like, "but he seemed so nice, normal, upstanding." Luckily now we have PREP and PEP, but that won't help against a myriad of other 'bugs' one can catch from a 'good date'.
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby Brenden » 11 February 2022, 22:56

pozzie wrote:
Brenden wrote:
pozzie wrote:
Petite wrote:I think it's virtually impossible to transmit aids through oral..

sorry, but this isn't true unless the 'bottom' has impeccable oral hygiene and health

however, it can be said it is safer than unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, but that's only relatively speaking

Sorry, but <1 per 10,000 exposures (<0.01%) as per the CDC is "virtually impossible" in the typical sense of the phrase.


I won't try and dispute that, but it's clearly a heavily reduced statement of risk for easy dissemination. Again, oral is generally assumed "low risk" with the assumption of extremely good oral health and, well, probably, not swallowing although swallowing isn't that risky thanks to stomach acid. But think about it, have you ever eaten a potato chip/crisp and cut your gum or the side of your mouth? Think about then giving a blow job. And then there is the issue related to gingivitis.

I truly believe the statement you've referenced is true, but assumes that there are no cuts or abrasions in the mouth and throat nor other oral health related issues.

Low risk is not no risk. The CDC mentions

But risks do add up over time. Even relatively small risks can add up over time and lead to a high lifetime risk of getting HIV. In other words, there may be a relatively small chance of acquiring HIV when engaging in a risk behavior with an infected partner only once; but, if repeated many times, the overall likelihood of becoming infected after repeated exposures is actually much higher.

The risks listed by the CDC page have been calculated from OBSERVATION of real-world serodiscordant couples, not conjecture. In the case of the oral sex figure, it's from observing "no events out of 8965 receptive oral sex acts".

pozzie wrote:Finally, I've implied elsewhere that I seroconverted from sexual exposure. I can say with reasonable surety that didn't happen from unprotected anal intercourse. You can figure out the rest.

Did you perhaps have "protected" anal intercourse with a leaky condom? :shrug:

Anyway, I'm not saying it's absolutely impossible.
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Re: How to practice safe sex.

Unread postby pozzie » 12 February 2022, 02:33

Read through the study and this is what I know. Not seeing evidence isn't the same as having evidence that proves something isn't happening.

Furthermore, estimating per-act transmission risk for low-risk acts, such as oral sex, is often confounded by the complex patterns of sexual exposure where higher-risk exposures occur during the same sexual encounter. Given these general limitations and the individual limitations of the previous estimates, we believe that although HIV transmission via oral sex is biologically plausible, we are unable to provide a precise numeric estimate.


Okay, that's based on their review of various studies conducted much more recently than those that would have influenced my HIV care counselor and provider. All I know is what conclusion we arrived at back then.

There are plenty of possibilities and no certainty. But no, there were no incidents that I can remember of a condom breaking during anal sex with a man who disclosed he was HIV+ (such would either be sublimated or not easily forgotten) and the vast majority of encounters were oral receptive. Thus that's always seemed the most likely route of transmission.

Can't deny that there is always the possibility that a condom was sabotaged but there just wasn't much anal happening with others than my partner and when it did happen, we used condoms. There are all sorts of "this might have happened and I've forgotten" scenarios after close to 30 years.

If I was negative and sexually active today though, not sure I'd rely on risk factors as much as either PEP (if only occasionally active) or PREP (if frequently sexually active). Granted that is for sexual encounters outside of a closed relationship.
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Know your partner!!

Unread postby Handsome Boy » 31 March 2022, 01:31

That's pretty safe. It pertains to all kinds of sexual orientations. Get tested. Have your partner get tested. Once both partners know each other and have been screened by doctors, then condoms aren't really necessary. Making love with a rubber on is like showering wearing a raincoat.

Women are less promiscuous than men so maybe men are more at risk that way. Go steady with one partner. Don't tom cat around.

Knowing your partner and getting screened for HIV and other social diseases is even better than wearing rubbers.

I don't want a partner without impeccable hygiene either. How gross! Anal douche well and proper before anal sex.
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Re: Know your partner!!

Unread postby René » 1 April 2022, 06:17

Handsome Boy wrote:Anal douche well and proper before anal sex.

Eat right and you shouldn't need it.

pozzie wrote:
But risks do add up over time. Even relatively small risks can add up over time and lead to a high lifetime risk of getting HIV. In other words, there may be a relatively small chance of acquiring HIV when engaging in a risk behavior with an infected partner only once; but, if repeated many times, the overall likelihood of becoming infected after repeated exposures is actually much higher.

Sounds like a good point.

pozzie wrote:Read through the study and this is what I know. Not seeing evidence isn't the same as having evidence that proves something isn't happening.

Furthermore, estimating per-act transmission risk for low-risk acts, such as oral sex, is often confounded by the complex patterns of sexual exposure where higher-risk exposures occur during the same sexual encounter. Given these general limitations and the individual limitations of the previous estimates, we believe that although HIV transmission via oral sex is biologically plausible, we are unable to provide a precise numeric estimate.


Okay, that's based on their review of various studies conducted much more recently than those that would have influenced my HIV care counselor and provider. All I know is what conclusion we arrived at back then.

There are plenty of possibilities and no certainty. But no, there were no incidents that I can remember of a condom breaking during anal sex with a man who disclosed he was HIV+ (such would either be sublimated or not easily forgotten) and the vast majority of encounters were oral receptive. Thus that's always seemed the most likely route of transmission.

Can't deny that there is always the possibility that a condom was sabotaged but there just wasn't much anal happening with others than my partner and when it did happen, we used condoms. There are all sorts of "this might have happened and I've forgotten" scenarios after close to 30 years.

If I was negative and sexually active today though, not sure I'd rely on risk factors as much as either PEP (if only occasionally active) or PREP (if frequently sexually active). Granted that is for sexual encounters outside of a closed relationship.

Let's also not forget that condoms are only 85% effective (against HIV; still less against other STIs).

The best protection (short of sticking to exclusive relationships, of course) is PrEP + condoms combined with careful partner selection (ideally only people with confirmed recent negative results on all available tests, who haven't had sex since some time before they got those tests).

(Even then, you're probably gonna catch various strains of HPV, HSV, other viruses and bacteria from time to time, some of which will never leave you or are getting harder to treat due to antibiotic resistance, and some of which increase the risk of various kinds of cancer and/or dementia. All in all, I don't think a habit of casual sex is safe or sustainable.)

Changing the thread title from "safe sex" to "safer sex".
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Re: Know your partner!!

Unread postby pozzie » 1 April 2022, 06:25

René wrote:Changing the thread title from "safe sex" to "safer sex".


:applause: :thumbsup: :applause:
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Re: Know your partner!!

Unread postby Brenden » 1 April 2022, 09:36

Handsome Boy wrote:Anal douche well and proper before anal sex.

That actually makes transmission of disease more likely.
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Re: How to practice safer sex.

Unread postby ayushiest » 29 May 2022, 17:58

Condoms are the best way to have safer sex.
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