I feel uncomfortable while watching gay stories (?)

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I feel uncomfortable while watching gay stories (?)

Unread postby Rayo » 30 July 2022, 12:23

Hi, everyone. I don't really know how to explain this. As far as I know, I'm a straight guy and, since I was a child, I've been feeling quite uncomfortable, even “observed” or “targeted”, when in high school or on the TV I watched documentaries or news/stories about how guys came out of the closet or the homophobia they experienced.

I have a girlfriend, and I've been during all my life attracted to women.

I remember that I behaved kind of timid, maybe awkward, when I talked to a friend from my university dormitory. He lived with me for one year and a half, and he was muscly, short and not gonna lie, good-looking. There was also a very short time when I, let's say, became obsessed with the idea of my liking a friend (this happened before uni), but that's it.

Some months ago I watched my very first BL movie and I got really absorbed by it; particularly by a song that was played during that movie.

Why does this happen? Do you have any idea? I haven't had any previous gay experience or anything similar in my life.
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Re: I feel uncomfortable while watching gay stories (?)

Unread postby glückspilz » 31 July 2022, 05:30

What’s a BL movie?
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Re: I feel uncomfortable while watching gay stories (?)

Unread postby PopTart » 31 July 2022, 07:14

glückspilz wrote:What’s a BL movie?

It stands for Boys Love and is a particular type of Anime. It generally veers towards, although not always, explicit sexual content and crosses over into Yaoi.

BL can simply be romantic in nature ofcourse but it's quite rare :lol:

OP.

You talk about feeling uncomfortable watching these things. Do you have same sex attraction? Are you aroused at the thought of sex with other men? Do you have romantic aspirations towards other guys beyond those nascent experiences in your past?

If so, you may fall somewhere on the homosexual spectrum. Does that mean you might be Bi? Gay? Who can really say? You don't have to act on your urges, though there certainly isn't anything wrong in doing so or in having them. If indeed, you have them.

It probably feels like a massive worry for you right now, it can often seem monumental contending with your sexuality. Truth is, it winds up not really being a big deal :P

Maybe you like a bit of dick now and again :shrug: Maybe you'll eventually want to settle down with a guy? :hug: Maybe you're actually straight and you're just tying yourself up in mental knots because you're anxious about the idea.

We can't tell you who or what you are. You have to answer those questions through soul searching and self reflection. What we can do is reassure you that, whatever conclusion you come too. It's alright. There's nothing wrong with you and you should try to be true to yourself and practice self acceptance. :hug:
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Re: I feel uncomfortable while watching gay stories (?)

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 2 August 2022, 10:34

Rayo wrote:Hi, everyone. I don't really know how to explain this. As far as I know, I'm a straight guy and, since I was a child, I've been feeling quite uncomfortable, even “observed” or “targeted”, when in high school or on the TV I watched documentaries or news/stories about how guys came out of the closet or the homophobia they experienced.

I have a girlfriend, and I've been during all my life attracted to women.

I remember that I behaved kind of timid, maybe awkward, when I talked to a friend from my university dormitory. He lived with me for one year and a half, and he was muscly, short and not gonna lie, good-looking. There was also a very short time when I, let's say, became obsessed with the idea of my liking a friend (this happened before uni), but that's it.

Some months ago I watched my very first BL movie and I got really absorbed by it; particularly by a song that was played during that movie.

Why does this happen? Do you have any idea? I haven't had any previous gay experience or anything similar in my life.


Maybe you should talk this out with a professional counselor. Many might just say just try out gay sex and see if you like it, but if even the topic is such that you get uncomfortable on the topic, I think experimentation without counseling to see if you even want to experiment would simply make your problem bigger. I think many guys get kind of grossed out when they put too much emphasis on the mechanics of what gay sex involves. However, I believe for most gay/gay-leaning/bi men, the sex is such a small part. The idea that the gay lifestyle is so foreign to the Str8 lifestyle is rather misleading. Sure gays don't have kids naturally together, but relationships are so many things besides sex and procreation. Gay couples have to do laundry, cook, eat, work, clean house, take out the trash, etc... I've been with my partner almost 19 years now. We pretty much keep to ourselves. Sure we have our ups-and-downs like most relationships, but I enjoy his company. I like making him laugh. I like just hanging around him. I like that every night he comes home from work to be with me...

So again, I think if your somewhat attraction to men bothers you, you simply should get some professional to talk this out with. Note, that gay/str8/bi are just labels. Regardless of labels, you are just you. Whether it is just a casual admission that some guys are attractive, or whether it becomes a stronger desire, you are just you. You aren't a bad person or defective person if you have such thoughts, It isn't something to cure, but rather you just need to know yourself better and then decide what you want to do with that knowledge. You could decide that you find things appealing about men, but your desire to get married, have kids, and live that traditional way is so much stronger. It's all fine as long as your heart is still with your wife and family. Or you could find that maybe you do want a man some day sexually and maybe emotionally. Again, you are going to be fine with whatever path you eventually chose. I confess that I regret not having sired children, but in my 20's I got tested and found out that I was SO infertile, I would have had to spend more money dealing with IVF than I would have had money to properly take care of such a child of my own flesh and blood. I'll always have that regret, but biologically and realistically it wasn't much of an option for me. I do have a loving male partner, and I think we have a great life together. (Note: He's the better half.). I find contentment in what we have built together.
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