Im 28. Never had any encounter and I'm scared. 1/5

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Re: Im 28. Never had any encounter and I'm scared. 1/5

Unread postby Eryx » 5 September 2019, 11:41

I have already told you, you don't have to be attracted to those things. Most guys aren't "mean arrogant men" and being gay isn't a life that is all about shaming and bullying. If you really want to believe that all your life and keep feeling miserable and sorry for yourself, that's your choice. If you want to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, start working towards it. We can't give you a magic solution, only you can fix your life and your preconceptions.

Honestly, it's been a little over 10 years since virtually everyone in my life knows I'm gay and I never got a bad response and was never accosted for being gay. Sure, old ladies might have complained about me and my boyfriend hugging or holding hands in public, but they're old women, if I touch their shoulder they'll fall to the ground and soon enough they won't be here anymore to pester me.

If you're just going to keep repeating yourself in your belief that everyone sucks and that there's no love among gay men, then I guess I shouldn't really keep trying to help. :shrug:
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Re: Im 28. Never had any encounter and I'm scared. 1/5

Unread postby LonelyPince » 5 September 2019, 12:06

Hey Eryx... my last post was a reply to whoiswlliamonyebor. He asked me a question and I gave my answer to that question. It wasnt a general reply of my situation at the moment... I replied to yours as well which was really helpful...
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Re: Im 28. Never had any encounter and I'm scared. 1/5

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 9 September 2019, 14:30

Obviously, I don't know all the cultural and personal background issues that have put you in the mindset that you have, but I would think that if you are miserable and lonely you know that your own attitude on the subject of homosexuality is to blame. I would think you want to change it for your own happiness. Changing one's own attitude isn't easy, but for your own piece of mind, do you have any other choice? One shouldn't live a life of misery.

Realize on the topic of sexuality there is both a component of emotional desire as well as sexual/physical desire. Sadly, plenty of men seem to be good at separating the two. Still for plenty, both needs must be met to find happiness and more important -- contentment with the world around them.

I noticed that your posts seem to focus on uncomfortably on the subject of the male behind. Why does anal sex bother you so much? Where you anally rapped at a younger age, which has made it an unpleasant topic? Do you have cultural/religious issues as seeing the butt as a "dirty" part of the human body?

Sure the male butt can be dirty, but guys can clean it up. It is simply a matter of personal hygiene if that part of the body is dirty.

I know from a very early age, I was attracted to manly, handsome, hairy guys. I also was greatly attracted to the male behind. I had no idea of anal sex at that early age, but I was drawn to the beautiful shape of the behind. Many guys attracted to other guys seem to be focused on the penis. They like to stare at men's crotches and imagine how big their penis must be when it gets hard. That was never me at all. I simply accept the fact that men have penises.

Because of my religious background, I had a lot of hangups with homosexuality when I was young. Basically, didn't want to "go to hell". However, I think for many of us with any such hangups during ones youth, the sexual urges simply eventually become TOO strong to limit one's self to masturbation. I had my first encounter when I was 21.5 years old. I would guess for most guys that is a bit older than the norm to have your first encounter...

I didn't get to top until about two years later. Part of that was that the guys I encountered (mainly older guys by about 10+ years) used my ignorance to convince me that you had to be "hung" to be a top. Those early years I found very unfulfilling. I thought back to my religious upbringing that perhaps the "sin" of homosexual was a lifetime of unsatisfying sex. I still longed to be emotionally and physically close to another man, but the actual encounters left me as lonely as I had been before when I was a virgin.

Then one day, I met a guy who let me top. For the first time in my life, I realized just how wonderful sex with another man could be. It wasn't about any bullying, but about the strong physical/sexual sensations as well as the emotional feeling that a man cared for me enough to let me inside him to where for a small time we were merged into one. I have never gotten that feeling from oral sex nor mutual masturbation.

I have been faithful to my man for our 16+ years together. Sadly, I cannot penetrate him with my cock as I deal with ED (erectile dysfunction) probably due to my diabetes. Still there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss being inside him. My body ache's to be physically one with him by penetrating him. I don't bully him. In fact most would probably consider him more manly than most guys. I never bullied him into that position of bottom. It was also never a rush to get to my own orgasm. If it were possible, I wish that I could have simply fallen asleep connected to him with my cock sleeping inside him. He is not my submissive, nor my women. He is simply the love of my life. I do wish that I could impregnate him. Not because I want him to be a woman, but because I wish I could create life with him.

As far as I'm concerned, gay anal sex is the most intimate sex two men can share. Though I cannot perform now, I think fondly back on all the times I was inside him. It is just our love that binds us together now. Perhaps one day, I can be inside him once again. He is my better half, and I'm so lucky to have found him.
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Re: Im 28. Never had any encounter and I'm scared. 1/5

Unread postby Eryx » 9 September 2019, 22:17

There won't be a better reply than this. Very touching! Thanks for opening up, NobodySpecial.
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