In a straight relationship but cant stop gay cravings help!?

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In a straight relationship but cant stop gay cravings help!?

Unread postby bojan94 » 20 February 2021, 17:07

i am 25 years old guy in a 4 year old relationship with a girl she is my first girlfriend and the only person i had sex with, sex is amazing and our relationship is amazing we are planning to move in together and have kids for me i want to spend the rest of my life with her... but i have a secret and cant control it to this day, when i turned 14 i started to masterbate to the toughts of men big masculant strong men i never fantasized about men who were my age (except my bullys the idea of being forced by them was huge turn on)i mostly fantasized only who were much more older than me, like my gym professor or someones dad, my boss, or guys from straight porn and gay porn.. at first it didnt bother me that much it was really rare i would 90% of time think of women want women want to have gf etc... but as years passed the desires grew stronger and every time i orgsamed to gay desires i felt like "why the hell do i crave men when horny when i love women much more would look everytime on the street hot girls etc..?" i basiclly feel like two deffrent people so basically developed some kind of fetish "edging" let me explain..
when the urge to fantasize about men hits me i would not touch myself i would watch gay porn etc.. cause i knew if i orgsam i would not want that anymore but i cant hold it forever so naturally i orgsam. as i got older
i realized what really turns me on is being submisive to a much stronger dominant man... i am really small guy and sometimes just standing to a guy who is much bigger than me turns me on, or interacial gay porn drives me crazy i also have a fetish for black men i would get really horny just talking to a nice looking black guy i would feel my self getting hard... i work at a makret so i see alot of people. so edging naturally would get me really horny and i would start to watch more and more gay porn and create gay profiles to meet men, but would never do that even when we set up a meeting i would orgsam before we meet so i lost interest i would start to buy chastity cages and dildos, would take pictures of myself and post online to men etc... but soon as i orgsamed i lost interest and deleted everytime.. that is until the urge comes again...
then i meet my girlfriend and it seemed all to stop for 3 years i think i didnt have a single gay fantasy or watch gay porn... but now it came back for all year now every few days the urge hits me... i would watch gay porn, i even had a fantasy about my gfs dad.. i would start to edge and think about men.. and would get so horny that i would think to myself that if i found a really hot guy i would cheat on my gf to try gay sex or seeing a really really hot guy in porn i would think to myself i would give anything to have sex with him eveng give away my gf... and ofc after orgsam and would become extremely depressed and would not believe to myself that i was actually okay on cheating i am against cheating and i could not believe what i was thinking....
bojan94
 
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Joined: 20 February 2021, 15:48
Country: Serbia (rs)

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