Is it predatory?

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Is it predatory?

Unread postby ghostspaces » 17 March 2021, 09:37

As a teen I more or less regularly hooked up with older guys, mostly for fun but sometimes there was money involved too. By "older" I mean maybe mid twenties to mid forties.
Back then I didn't think about it as problematic in any way but now that I'm in my mid twenties myself I have no interest in anyone younger than 20 and looking back now I get a weird feeling about all this.
Mostly it was just casual stuff with guys I met by accident but there were those two guys who regularly hung out in the park next to my school and they actually approached me and offered me money for blowing them. Which I accepted.
I look back now and think holy shit, I was so fucking dumb and naive. I was maybe 15/16 back then and just casually got in the car with strangers.
I was never forced to do anything but idk it has a weird taste looking back ten years later.
I can't tell whether I'm overthinking this. Is it ok bc it was voluntary or did I unknowingly hook up with sexual predators lol?
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Re: Is it predatory?

Unread postby Raynethemagi » 17 March 2021, 09:58

Well, in America that's considered illegal. So I dunno if you live in America or not. So if you live in America, I'd say that'd be grounds for a sexual predator.

Personally though, my thing has always been, if both parties want to do it, and I mean are ok with having sex, then I don't see that as predatory. Sure, if I had children I wouldn't want them breaking any laws, and I most DEFINITELY wouldn't want them to hang around older men/women, especially if they're teenagers. When I think of sexual predators, I think of people who want to molest and rape other people.

I guess it's really just how you view it. I am in no way advocating for anyone to break the law, but, I'm going to be honest with you too, and unless it's unwanted sexual contact, I don't consider it predatory....
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Re: Is it predatory?

Unread postby rogonandi » 17 March 2021, 11:36

I think you are overthinking this stuff. Everything you did was of your choice, and the law would be on your side if it got involved, since you were the younger party. :shrug:
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Re: Is it predatory?

Unread postby René » 17 March 2021, 13:58

I would definitely say you were taken advantage of. Targeting minors, especially when you're 2-3 times their age, seems predatory precisely because they don't have a fully developed capability to consider whether they want to do things like that, which is why you now have this "holy shit, I was so fucking dumb and naive" feeling looking back.

Totally predatory. But there's probably not much point in spending a lot of time thinking about it now.

I would say just make sure you've been tested for all possible STIs. It's important to know whether you carry any germs you might pass on to others, and that you've received any necessary treatment. Some STIs don't necessarily cause symptoms at first but can cause problems later, and in some cases there are treatments that can eliminate them.
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Re: Is it predatory?

Unread postby Eryx » 20 March 2021, 15:14

It's okay that you had sexual urges and acted on them, but it's not okay that they took advantage of your innocence and paid you for doing it. They're predators and they should be found and arrested, but you didn't do anything wrong. If not them, you could have had those experiences with guys you age and it would have been absolutely fine, because it's a healthy step in life.
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Re: Is it predatory?

Unread postby Ballparkdogg » 9 June 2021, 06:18

a sexual predator is usually similar to a pedophile and they prey on young boys and girls under the age of 18
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