My crush is my longtime friend

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My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby CanadianPanda » 10 January 2019, 08:52

Hi there!

About a year ago, me and one of my bisexual friend were at a sleepover at one of our other friend's house. We were sleeping in the same bed in the basement with no one around.

We couldn't sleep so we talked a lot. Then I started to talk about the fact that I thought I was bisexual too (kind of came out for the first time of my life). We were chatting about it, I felt super nervous but he calmed me down really easily.

Then, all of a sudden, I asked him if I could kiss him because I wanted to try with a guy, and assured him that he didn't need to do it if he doesn't want to.

He accepted and we started kissing (more like making out) for at least 20 minutes. Then we were spooning for the rest of the night.

We didn't really talked about after except when I texted him to thank him for the last night and that I confirmed that I was bisexual.

Now, 1 year later, we are still close friends but we both have a relationship with a girl and are happy with it, but tonight we were together (just chilling out playing video games and stuff) and then I realised that I probably fell in love with him. The only thing I wanted to do is cuddling and kissing him all night.

My relationship is ok, like, not bad but not wonderful, and his is good but really bad at some points. I clearly see ourselves fit in a love relationship. I would be ready to break my relationship for him, but I don't know if he would want this.

How do I talk to him about my feelings for him without breaking our friendship?
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby SimplySweeter » 10 January 2019, 09:53

This can be very tricky because you don't want to risk losing the friendship that you two share and I can tell that's very important to you. One thing I will say is before you jump ship, you definitely need to kind of feel out what he's feeling towards you. A lot can happen in a year, feelings can change and mindsets may have altered. All I'm saying is that ease into this topic especially since you're both in relationships. The last thing you want to do is make it seem like you're starting something risqué.

You want to be sure that he has some reciprocating feelings as well because if not you risk the relationship you two have. I also think that you may need to talk to your girlfriend too. Having feelings for your bestfriend is messy enough but being in a relationship makes it worse. Not trying to guilt you or anything but the fact that you're willing to end your relationship with someone just to be with your friend is kind of wrong.
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby Vertical » 20 January 2019, 20:13

When you confirmed that you are bisexual he didn’t proceed, so I think he wasn’t interested. Talk with him about bisexuality and ask him which type of man he finds attractive. Transforming longtime friends into lovers is more often than not wishful thinking of novices. Spare him love confessions, intensify the friendship and enjoy your feelings for him.
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby PopTart » 20 January 2019, 20:44

I'd say bring up the time the two of your kissed and spooned. When your both together, relaxed and conversation is moving freely.

Don't do it with any agenda beyond finding out what he thinks of it now, one year after the fact. He may say he doesn't really think much of it. He might say that he thinks about it as you do or somewhere in between. The important thing is to play your cards close to your chest at this stage, confessing you love your buddy, both of your being bisexual or not, is abit rash.

Instead, gauge how he feels about it, if he brushes the conversation off, good chance he doesn't have any interest in the same direction. If he is open to talking about it, then try to be casual in your conversation, figure out if it's something he'd entertain a repeat of, but minus a romantic angle or if there is unspoken feelings on his part too.

Regardless, proceed carefully and don't jump in with both feet until you can be sure that it's mutual and that it's something you really think you can do. Friendships can become relationships, but should a relationship go poorly, it can be hard for some people to go back to being friends again.

What are you willing to lose and what are you expecting to gain. Weigh those up and consider carefully.
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 21 January 2019, 05:47

I'm torn because even though I think gay relationships are sexier, I think white people should have more children to save western civilization from genetic deterioration. :heart: :3
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby GearFetTwinkRomance » 21 January 2019, 07:28

BlackBoi666 wrote:I'm torn because even though I think gay relationships are sexier, I think white people should have more children to save western civilization from genetic deterioration. :heart: :3


If they want to improve their genetics, actually the best would be to have children with everyone else on the whole dang planet! Civilisation made them watch bad TV shows, yearn for the big $ and live the smombie life. T'wasn't the final hoot, really. :D ( I'm "caucasian white" and I tell whiteys, "white" is somewhat like a genetic disorder :devil: You should see the faces. )LMAO
-------

For the on topic : I would wonder if he does respect his best friend's relationship status. Certainly he can always sound his friend's feelings about this. All you can get would be some honest replies, I guess.
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Re: My crush is my longtime friend

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » Yesterday, 00:07

GearFetTwinkRomance wrote:
BlackBoi666 wrote:I'm torn because even though I think gay relationships are sexier, I think white people should have more children to save western civilization from genetic deterioration. :heart: :3


If they want to improve their genetics, actually the best would be to have children with everyone else on the whole dang planet! Civilisation made them watch bad TV shows, yearn for the big $ and live the smombie life. T'wasn't the final hoot, really. :D ( I'm "caucasian white" and I tell whiteys, "white" is somewhat like a genetic disorder :devil: You should see the faces. )LMAO
-------

For the on topic : I would wonder if he does respect his best friend's relationship status. Certainly he can always sound his friend's feelings about this. All you can get would be some honest replies, I guess.

there would be no industrial revolution, if there were no white people. it was caused be the mental traits they inherited through genes. (sources: eugenics.net & creativitymovement.net)
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