My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Share stories, ask questions, get answers.

My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Koftruecross » 7 May 2019, 16:35

It's okay. You can laugh at my helmet hair that was the style in the 1970's. When I was in high school (1975-1979) I dated girls. In my freshman and sophomore years I dated Tina. In my junior and senior years I dated Gail. We went to the Homecoming and prom dances.
I pray the younger gay guys won't hate me for my sham. Coming out was NOT an option. In the 1970's Hollwood was extremely brutal in their depictions of gay men. (The Eiger Sanction). It was a horrible time to be gay. Do you think I should have been militant?
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Koftruecross
 
Posts: 313
+1s received: 80
Joined: 11 January 2019, 17:07
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Midlifewotsit » 7 May 2019, 23:15

It was a different time my friend, I can remember knowing at about the age or seven that I was different and although I didn't know what Gay was I do remember knowing deep down that what ever it was that made me different had to be hidden. When you've lived through times when being gay was still on the medical register as a mental illness, when insurance companies could refuse cover because simply being gay put you at risk of HIV. When being out at work could cost you your job and the legal protections we enjoy now simply didn't exist who can blame a person for keeping quiet.

As a bit of a old codger myself I often cluck my tongue and wag my finger at the millennials with their safe spaces and trigger warnings but I'm in awe at their ability to accept anyone and everyone. Tell one "I'm gay" and they look at you waiting for the rest...."I'm a gay non binary, gender fluid pre post op transsexual who gender identifies as a sperm whale every third Tuesday" and they might raise an eye brow or more likely tell you their friend from College is the same and they can hook you up if you want.

The world we live in now with all the protections we have and the general acceptance we enjoy didn't happen without people who were Out, Loud and Proud and I'm unbelievably grateful to everyone who was brave enough to stand up and fight for those rights I now have. I have no shame admitting I wan't one of them,.......I was too scared.
Midlifewotsit
 
Posts: 12
+1s received: 14
Joined: 24 September 2018, 17:32
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby UndercoverLover » 17 May 2019, 16:29

I dated girls too. I did it because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I'm very thankful for the guy who opened my mind (among opening other things lol) and helped me realize who I really am.
UndercoverLover
 
Posts: 38
+1s received: 17
Joined: 15 October 2017, 06:12
Location: Baltimore, MD
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Eryx » 17 May 2019, 17:05

You don't have to feel guilty about it, you were only protecting yourself. We've made it this far and we have to remember those who took our first steps, but you don't need to feel bad for not being there. What's important is what you do now.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 1809
+1s received: 830
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby acpro » 17 May 2019, 20:27

Tell us more! Did you live in Hollywood? If not, where in the US were you? Do you have any lessons learned by surviving the HIV epidemic (not like wear condoms but life lessons or whatever)? Was it possible for you to meet other gay men? Did you know any other gay men? What was getting housing like if you were gay?
User avatar
acpro
 
Posts: 2084
+1s received: 306
Joined: 23 December 2012, 05:18
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Koftruecross » 23 May 2019, 02:29

Surviving the HIV epidemic in the 1980's. I turned 21 in 1982. All I can say is that AIDS had an extremely chilling effect where sex was concerned. The clubs were still the only place to meet other gay guys. No social media yet. I think the threat of that disease made us all rather maudlin Victorian. We were extremely selective about who we slept with. I would NOT let Michael sleep with me in 1985. Good thing too. He later died of AIDS. It was not only the threat of AIDS. The gay bars were in the heart of the absolutely worst part of the ghetto of the city. We risked our lives just going to the clubs.
Koftruecross
 
Posts: 313
+1s received: 80
Joined: 11 January 2019, 17:07
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Eryx » 23 May 2019, 04:42

How common were condoms?
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 1809
+1s received: 830
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby acpro » 23 May 2019, 16:58

Koftruecross wrote:Surviving the HIV epidemic in the 1980's. I turned 21 in 1982. All I can say is that AIDS had an extremely chilling effect where sex was concerned. The clubs were still the only place to meet other gay guys. No social media yet. I think the threat of that disease made us all rather maudlin Victorian. We were extremely selective about who we slept with. I would NOT let Michael sleep with me in 1985. Good thing too. He later died of AIDS. It was not only the threat of AIDS. The gay bars were in the heart of the absolutely worst part of the ghetto of the city. We risked our lives just going to the clubs.


Wow, that's crazy. I never thought of people being super selective with their partners - I just thought they either used condoms or took the risk. Is Michael your ex boyfriend? Also, it's crazy how the gayborhood always turns out from being the ghetto to the best part of the city, ironic, isn't it? Some people hate that I know.
User avatar
acpro
 
Posts: 2084
+1s received: 306
Joined: 23 December 2012, 05:18
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Koftruecross » 23 May 2019, 18:10

Let's just say we were creative where sex in the 1980's was concerned. HIV put a damper on casual gay sex. We didnt want to take a risk on somebody that was not worth the risk. We were far more sexually conservative than str8eople were. Except for poor Michael. He couldn't control himself . He said it was because he was Italian. He tried to force himself on me and I rebuffed him. I furious with him because he was my boss. Then many years later I found out how HORRIBLE his life was. I didn't know that his family disowned him and all the people he thought were his friends vanished. He died miserable and alone. I would have visited him. Although there was a possibility that he would have resented my pity for him.
Koftruecross
 
Posts: 313
+1s received: 80
Joined: 11 January 2019, 17:07
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby acpro » 23 May 2019, 20:34

Koftruecross wrote:Let's just say we were creative where sex in the 1980's was concerned. HIV put a damper on casual gay sex. We didnt want to take a risk on somebody that was not worth the risk. We were far more sexually conservative than str8eople were. Except for poor Michael. He couldn't control himself . He said it was because he was Italian. He tried to force himself on me and I rebuffed him. I furious with him because he was my boss. Then many years later I found out how HORRIBLE his life was. I didn't know that his family disowned him and all the people he thought were his friends vanished. He died miserable and alone. I would have visited him. Although there was a possibility that he would have resented my pity for him.



It's ironic because you always hear the stereotype of gays being permiscuisic but that's obviously not always the case and like you said, many times LGBT people are more conservative, even today.

And awww. I sort of feel bad for Michael too, aside from his forcing himself on other people. I feel like since gay people weren't as widely accepted back then, I hear a lot of stories about gay men dying painful lonely deaths during the HIV epidemic. So sad.
User avatar
acpro
 
Posts: 2084
+1s received: 306
Joined: 23 December 2012, 05:18
Country: United States (us)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Eryx » 23 May 2019, 20:52

I bet there are some incredible lost stories from the 70s and 80s... Unfortunate how everything turned out.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 1809
+1s received: 830
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Midlifewotsit » 24 May 2019, 07:32

There's a great documentary called "We were here" that tells the story of the San Francisco gay community during the Aids epidemic. There's a trailer on YouTube that really doesn't do the film justice. Hearing those men tell their stories always brings a tear to me eye.
Midlifewotsit
 
Posts: 12
+1s received: 14
Joined: 24 September 2018, 17:32
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: My str8 sham life as a teenager in the 1970's

Unread postby Eryx » 24 May 2019, 13:44

I watched a documentary called "Gay Sex in the 70s" which also touches on the subject a lot. There's nothing remarkable about the doc, but seeing the sincerity in the guys' testimonials is heartbreaking. After watching that one, I can't get myself to see anything related to the AIDS epidemic anymore, I cry like a baby!
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 1809
+1s received: 830
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: anicich, Bli6485, Brice, CommonCrawl [Bot], erti, Google Adsense [Bot], markg888x, Midlifewotsit, Stephen68, Stroker54 and 136 guests