Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

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Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby bjmorr » 26 June 2020, 16:29

Ok, I need some advice. I am in 3 relationships all at once. Let me tell you about the 3: (1) R and I were together for over 19 years. He is a serial cheater and he cheated only 3 days before my birthday. I got married to him (after he cheated twice) when I thought that I was going to be deployed (military). One of the times that he cheated on me was with his cousin. Now he wants to tell me that it will never happen again...yeah....right...(2) L, I started dating him after the 2nd time R cheated and during that course, he presented a stable home. He works 12 hours a day! Sounds great right? Wrong. We never communicate, he never thinks about me at all, he has erectile dysfunction but still manages to watch porn and go on dating websites and generally speaking, I feel like no matter what I do, he totally ignores all efforts and for my 50th birthday, he didn't even get me a card until 3 days after. Meanwhile, for his birthday(s) I planned elaborate gatherings and such. In short, there is no effort put in at all...(3) T, is in the newer phase to where everything is exciting. But...he works 12 hours a day and he is "talking to other men for entertainment." He wants to "get married" to me but he is so damn materialistic to where he mentions "diamonds" every fucking day....I am in college (doctorate) and will graduate next year, I have lost 6 family and friends in various ways recently. I feel spread thin and worn out! Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm just so mad and unfulfilled because I was stupid enough to allow myself to get into this situation! I swear, I want to just disappear from my homophobic family and crazy relationships...
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Re: Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby ThatNomad » 26 June 2020, 16:59

Drop all three of them. Seriously. Full stop. Drop them all. You obviously are not in a good place with any of them, and you have your own plans and goals you wish to achieve. I have learned from experience, and not in a good way at all, that if they are "talking to other men for entertainment" they don't care about you anymore. And the last dude just seems to want the status symbol of diamonds. I'd say from the way you describe him you are on vastly different wavelengths. First one, I think you already know why he needs to go. Cheating once is hard enough to excuse. More than that, absolutely not. 2nd just doesn't seem all that into you as a person, really.
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Re: Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby bjmorr » 26 June 2020, 17:20

@ThatNomad: I am trying to have a talk with myself to gear up for this inevitable speech. I don't...I'm so fucking mad at myself....Just so mad...basically I have (1) a cheater (2) emotionally unavailable and (3) materialistic...! FUCK am I disgusted with myself...….
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Re: Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby ThatNomad » 26 June 2020, 17:21

At least you recognize it. That's the first step. Most people aren't willing to examine enough to get to that point. I hope you work it out.
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Re: Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby bjmorr » 26 June 2020, 17:51

@ThatNomad: I...damn....just....I'm about to go off...I can't believe that I put myself in this position. The 2nd one told me: "Since I can't get it up, you can have sex with other people..." 1st one told me: "I did it because I thought that you were sleeping around..." 3rd one: "I'm so stressed from work to where I need entertainment..." FUCK THIS SHIT!
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Re: Need Advice Badly-Multiple Relationships

Unread postby ThatNomad » 26 June 2020, 17:55

Agreed, I don't even know you and can almost guarantee you deserve better. That's some grade a bullshit right there, on all three fronts.

Or, to quote Macklemore, "That's some ignorant bitch shit."

Drop they asses like a case of plague rats and find you someone better.
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