Not sure if I’m in the right place here

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Not sure if I’m in the right place here

Unread postby XxFoxmanxX » 31 December 2021, 03:55

Hope I don’t get any backlash here. I’m straight and married but I think I’m a little gay. Maybe that makes me bi. This is my first time talking about this. Im not even sure where to start. I can’t help but check out men and women. And I have a fantasy of a guy doing something for me. This is really hard to talk about but Idk I just feel like I need to say it somewhere. One time like 7 years ago I had a guy give me a bj. I wasn’t sure of my sexuality but it was the worst bj ever. Made me feel like it wasn’t for me. I don’t want to check out men but I can’t help myself. I don’t feel like doing anything to them but I’m a pecker checker. I don’t even know where I’m getting at here, I’m just getting it out. I was raised by a gay man so I have nothing against the gay community. Like I said I’m married but I just didn’t want to go my whole life without reaching out.

I know I haven’t asked any questions… Can anyone relate? Am I just confused or weird? Any words of wisdom for me?
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Re: Not sure if I’m in the right place here

Unread postby pozzie » 31 December 2021, 20:26

Hello and welcome to the forum. :)

First off, no, there's no problem with asking questions or talking about what you're experiencing. My read of the forum's direction is it's a fine place to talk about issues related to orientation, acceptance, and relationships but not really the place to talk about kinks and fetishes in a "connect with other for..." manner.

If I read your statement correctly, this isn't so much a kinky fantasy as a real attraction you've only acted upon one time. However your experience fits my thinking that one bad experience (or even a handful) don't an orientation make. Sometimes a connection just plain doesn't work, but also practice makes perfect. Enough of the aphorisms. Yes, you may very well be bi but exploring that might not be easy. But you've admitted that the attraction and interest are there.

However the more fundamental question you face is how does this impact your relationship with your wife? Or maybe more appropriately, you're relationship via your marriage vows and general understanding. Is this something you can discuss with your wife? (And I truly understand that most often the answer is going to be no or at least not really.) I'm not a big fan of telling people to break their marriage vows or relationship understanding/rules, so before even thinking about acting on these attractions, you really have to decide what you want from and willing to give to your committed relationship. Put the thought there for the time being, okay?

I hope this gives you something to focus on during your journey called life. Maybe we can chat more if you find yourself with some questions.
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