Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

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Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby Cali Ed » 4 October 2021, 13:00

Tell us what annoys you in your pornographic viewing, and also what is porn doing right for you. I'll start with my grievances ...

>Bad advertising. We discussed this in another thread, started by someone trying to spread the joys of pussy porn. If you're going to spam porn viewers with links, make sure you're not promoting lonely lesbians and dirty MILFs to faggots watching twinks inseminate each other. If you must interrupt my viewing, let me know about some hot site I didn't know where guys are getting dirty with each other.

>The obsession with money shots. Speaking of insemination, I'm much more fond of natural sexual climaxes. I don't know about you guys, but when I'm getting fucked up the ass, the guy doesn't stop right as he's about to cum and pull out and use his hand to jack off and paint my butt cheeks with his sperm. Without fail, he's pumped his semen deep into my ass. And that's how I like my sodomy on screen, even at the risk of not getting to see the cum shot. I'm not opposed to seeing sperm fly from a pulsating cock. I like watching jack-off videos with cute hung guys, but for anal and oral I much prefer a natural climax — here it's the bottom's mouth or ass that makes the top cum, not the top's hand. In the best scenes, the tops are very verbal and tell you they're coming, you can see their balls and cocks pulsate. Maybe a little cum drips out of the ass or mouth as evidence, but the less wasted the better. I don't need to see the cum to believe it. I know some people are rightfully wary as some studios are known to fake cum shots, but honestly I still find those scenes hotter if they're even remotely believable than an ending where a guy pulls out and wastes half his load on the floor or some sodomite's back.

>On a related note, I'm most annoyed when porn clips are misleadingly labeled. Scenes will claim to be breeding when they are more likely pull out/jack off to cum (I'd label those creampies if the guys push the cum back inside after). Similarly, you piss me off when you claim your slut is swallowing something and it's a guy pulling out and giving a facial and wasting all that good cum (or a guy pissing in someone's mouth but the fag lets it all drip to the ground). Spitters are quitters.

>Bad plot development. I totally love gay porn with a plot. I don't mind a lack of plot, but if you're going to do it do it right. Spend 30 minutes developing the story before we get the action. The problem is 95% of the time they come up with a decent set-up, then don't know how to transition to the sex smoothly. They immediately drop the plot and just become a full-on porn video. The "Next Door" series is the worst. They have a few that are good, but most of the time they'll come up with a believable premise then throw it away after 5-10 minutes. Also, if your video is about a gay boy trying to seduce his straight friend, the straight friend is not going to want to start with kissing. But they always have these straight guys going right to making out. If you want to make it believable, the first thing a homo does with straight bait is suck their dick. Kissing is the last thing they want to do. On the flip side, some can go on too long with the plot. Those videos of shoplifters getting caught, forcibly stripped then given the choice of erotic favors or jail are quite hot, but they often have 5-10 minutes of repeated dialogue and pauses.

>Meta porn/director's off-screen narration. This is particularly bad with mutual masturbation videos. I love the idea of straight guys jacking off. But they ruin it immediately when they have the director talking to them about how they're doing it because they need the money. What's the fantasy in that? How about two straight guys watching a video and being overcome with desire and having to pull their dicks out? How about a gay persuading his straight roommate to bust a nut together during COVID lockdowns?

>Lack of identification of actors. How many times are you watching a hot video with multiple guys, find a hot guy but then are left wondering just who that was so you could look up more? I love nasty videos like SketchySex with seemingly random orgies, but I wish they'd caption the actors when they come on screen.

>Porn sites letting credit card processors censor content, such as OnlyFans blocking kinks such as watersports, public sex, etc.

What's right in porn?
>Amateurs and DIY: OnlyFans and PornHub amateurs are much better at providing believable cum conclusions with proper breeding and swallowing.

>Studios that do mainstream and porn versions of a film. As I said, I like storylines so something like the short film "Underwater" has a mainstream subject — albeit aided by ample nudity — of hot lads at a British swimming academy. They even engage in a little of my beloved Soggy Biscuit. Then you can see the full contest and some related sodomy in the XXX version.

>Cumshot recaps at the end of a full movie. Even better if they have a second cumpilation in slow motion.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby PopTart » 4 October 2021, 16:42

I second many on your list.
Of note:
Breeding videos that involve no breeding and infact, have guys pulling out or wearing condoms? Wtf? Do it properly!

Mislabelled videos I'll second aswell. If it says twins, or brothers, I expect to see some bona-fide incest taking place, not two guys who might have been born in the same hemisphere, but to very different parents.

Talkative camera man. I hate porn where the guy holding the camera has a little too much to say about proceedings. Especially as they tend to sound fucking thick. If I wanted the dvd commentary, I'd buy the dvd. Shut the fuck up, find a good angle and film. If you feel the need to participate more than that, mount up after. Then you can be as verbal as you like.

Generic verbal group sex: I like some noise during sex, I like porn with the sounds of people enjoying themselves. But when you get a group of hairy men all making the exact same leering jeers, fuck yeahs and "that fucking hole" it escalates into a cacophony of groaning that just sounds comical.

English londoner accent in porn: I dunno why, I hate it :lol: they sound like morons.

Teaser videos, that show everything except the finale.

On the what's right in porn, amateur porn I don't watch anything but. Nothing beats some horny guys who whip out their dicks and their phones and post the results to pornhub.

I can't say I can think of much more really, I'm not huge into porn. I enjoy it, but I've never wanted to know who a director is or what studio I was watching, if any. I generally don't care for specific porn stars either. Although Idmir Sugary is my kinda slut. :P
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby Cali Ed » 5 October 2021, 04:21

PopTart wrote:I second many on your list.
Of note:
Breeding videos that involve no breeding and infact, have guys pulling out or wearing condoms? Wtf? Do it properly!

Mislabelled videos I'll second aswell. If it says twins, or brothers, I expect to see some bona-fide incest taking place, not two guys who might have been born in the same hemisphere, but to very different parents.

Talkative camera man. I hate porn where the guy holding the camera has a little too much to say about proceedings. Especially as they tend to sound fucking thick. If I wanted the dvd commentary, I'd buy the dvd. Shut the fuck up, find a good angle and film. If you feel the need to participate more than that, mount up after. Then you can be as verbal as you like.

Generic verbal group sex: I like some noise during sex, I like porn with the sounds of people enjoying themselves. But when you get a group of hairy men all making the exact same leering jeers, fuck yeahs and "that fucking hole" it escalates into a cacophony of groaning that just sounds comical.

English londoner accent in porn: I dunno why, I hate it :lol: they sound like morons.

Teaser videos, that show everything except the finale.

On the what's right in porn, amateur porn I don't watch anything but. Nothing beats some horny guys who whip out their dicks and their phones and post the results to pornhub.

I can't say I can think of much more really, I'm not huge into porn. I enjoy it, but I've never wanted to know who a director is or what studio I was watching, if any. I generally don't care for specific porn stars either. Although Idmir Sugary is my kinda slut. :P

Good ones. There's way too much fake incest going on. Give me that good brother-fucking, not just some guy and his generic "bro."

And hell yes to the "teaser clips" where you watch the video then when they're about to cum, it cuts to black. And half of the time, these idiots don't even tell you where to find the full video.

Yes, Idmir is a slut after my own heart — he knows how to properly drink piss and take a load.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby DariusAlexander » 6 October 2021, 15:30

Let's not forget the "first timer" videos where the guy's asshole is so stretched out from overuse that you could park a Mini Cooper in it!

I can remember making porn to order back in the late 80s, early 90s. You know how hard it was to find a virgin ass that was willing to lose it on camera?
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby PopTart » 6 October 2021, 15:43

DariusAlexander wrote:Let's not forget the "first timer" videos where the guy's asshole is so stretched out from overuse that you could park a Mini Cooper in it!

I can remember making porn to order back in the late 80s, early 90s. You know how hard it was to find a virgin ass that was willing to lose it on camera?

Yes! :lol: Or those straight guys first times, yet an 8inch beast slides effortlessly into their holes, with nary a wince or sharp intake of breath... first time indeed!
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby jaredjoy90 » 7 October 2021, 20:06

I hate when porn is edited in creampie/breeding scenes right before the cumshot then they just show a pussy or ass full of "cum". They should keep the camera rolling until he shoots his load inside, and we see him pull out and maybe some cum dripping out.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby Eos » 7 October 2021, 21:02

Another thing I highly dislike in porns, are when any of the "actors" stare at me while he do his thing. It breaks my immersion. I don't want to feel like I'm with them ah ah

I agree with all the others points, though I'm not much confronted to the cut part, I only take long videos so I often get to see it.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby Cali Ed » 9 October 2021, 14:43

Eos wrote:Another thing I highly dislike in porns, are when any of the "actors" stare at me while he do his thing. It breaks my immersion. I don't want to feel like I'm with them ah ah.

Yes, what I think many of us here are irked about is that porn is supposed to be a fantasy so when you have some 50-something sleazeball in a stained tank top talking to the actors mid-scene about their bleak reality fo doing porn for cash it ruins that illusion. I don't mind a story about hard-luck guys forced to do porn or perform sexual acts because of a lack of funding, but make it part of the story. There's even a series — I think it's Eastern European as many gay porn productions are (who could forget my own original gay erotic screenplay "The Czech is in the Male"?) — where a loan shark demands erotic satisfaction from the impoverished individual.

One of the hotter bisexual productions i've seen is when a good boyfriend decides to pay his girlfriend's debt with his body so she doesn't have to — well, and probably for the fact he's been looking for any excuse possible to take a dick and this one not only get his asshole filled with semen it scores major boyfriend points.

So I do enjoy movies where there's an element of erotic storytelling. Alas, a lot of the better sex scenes — the ones that feature realistic conclusions (meaning real breeding or swallow as opposed to a guy jerking to money shot) — don't have good storytelling. And so many of the porn films with interesting plots often just end with the load wasted on someone's back. When I can get both in a film it's a rare wonder.

A lot of it is that the amateur porn have the best cum endings, but no plot, and when they do try plot they're awful. The next frontier is amateur/OnlyFans porn with interesting stories and some modest attempt at acting. Sidebar: Why are porn "actors" so bad at acting? Marlon Brando can become an amateur porn star by sticking a cube of butter up a woman's vagina, but when are we going to get our Marlon Brando of the bareback screen? Our Robert De Niro cumshots. Hell, I'd even settle for a Matt Damon-Ben Affleck situation, because you know those two have eaten each other's assholes.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby Eos » 11 October 2021, 19:30

Well if they were good at acting they wouldn't be doing porn ah ah.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby PopTart » 11 October 2021, 19:44

It's a good question.

I mean, we've all seen movies and TV shows, with sex scenes, with seemingly naked people grinding against one another. Sometimes it can be hot, rarely. Most of the time it comes across as quite silly.

But what if the sex was real? What if the acting was of a high caliber and the sex was real?

How many of your favourite shows and movies would take on a meaning when the characters actually get it on.

Ofcourse there is the inverse of that thrill, when characters you really don't like, start getting it on and that could ruin an otherwise great show or movie. Or maybe it wouldn't? Maybe watching old people and less attractive types getting jiggy, would normalise real person sex, compared to the unrealistic expectation set iut by porn?

Maybe that's the real reason full on sex isn't included in modern movies and TV. It would overshadow the narrative too much, have too much influence, both police and negative.

Maybe it's better to keep sex to porn, with a smattering of narrative than to have porn be part of regular TV and movies.
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Re: Porn pet peeves and perverse pleasures

Unread postby pozboro » 11 October 2021, 20:05

Eos wrote:Well if they were good at acting they wouldn't be doing porn ah ah.


initially I thought the same thing but then remembered the whole "gay for pay" component to 'gay' porn - it's not such a big deal to fap on cam and how many times have I heard women squealing and moaning (on a screen either mostly or completely off-camera) - but it takes some level of acting chops for a straight dude to actually have sex with another guy.

granted, this isn't the stuff of Oscar nominations, but there is some level of 'acting' going on
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