Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

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Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby subliminaladult » 13 June 2018, 03:39

:confused:

Wasn’t entirely sure where to ask, found this forum, figured it honestly can’t hurt, so here goes...

I’m 33, M, versatile but prefer to bottom. I’ve always practiced safe sex, and never had trouble with it.

The advice part: Last year, around July, I had to have hemorhhoid surgery. It was painful, but I recovered well. Had just ended a relationship, so figured since it was required, and was the perfect time - no sex allowed, no sex happening.

I’ve been in a steady relationship for a few months now. We’re talking it slow (as far as anal is concerned, anyway), and I’m actually ok with that. However, eventually sex will come up, and I want to. However, since the surgery, I’m...tight, down there. Needless to say, I am freaking out.

Wondering if anyone has advice on how to loosen up a bit?
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Re: Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby Eryx » 13 June 2018, 19:04

There's no secret to this kind of stuff. Fingers, sex toys, lubricant, testing it out. If he knows about it you could ask him to take it slow and try one thing at a time. Just the tip and then working your way to actually doing it.

(Also crazy how culture makes things different huh... Here in Brazil sex comes after the first date, if it doesn't it almost always means things didn't go well hahahaha)
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Re: Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby subliminaladult » 19 October 2018, 02:49

Hey! Thanks for the reply. I didn’t get any notifications so figured no one had answered. I tried a couple of toys but couldn’t get through and then gave up. Will try again.

Believe it or not, I’ve never actually had sex on the first date. Every relationship the partner I was with wanted to take it slow. Not sure why lol
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Re: Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby KyleSexyBoy » 19 October 2018, 02:52

I was in the same position last year as you are and I let my boyfriend know and ask him to take is slow until I healed up and was ready to have normal sex which he did.
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Re: Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 19 October 2018, 02:58

subliminaladult wrote:Hey! Thanks for the reply. I didn’t get any notifications so figured no one had answered. I tried a couple of toys but couldn’t get through and then gave up. Will try again.

Believe it or not, I’ve never actually had sex on the first date. Every relationship the partner I was with wanted to take it slow. Not sure why lol


Nothing wrong with the partner routine. Actually quite convenient and safe(r)!

Small, small as required toys, smaller than required toys to start. Well you get my point. What ever's enjoyable and well enjoy it. The enjoying it part simply causes you to relax. Then next thing you know the opening is wider. Rinse and repeat with the next size when you are ready. I suspect is is more of an mental thing and your reactions is to tighten. When you are feeling up to his size, have an chat with him and explain what you said here. You should be able to trust him to exercise caution and you need to be vocal if you start feeling like it is not going well and need to do some other sexual activity that suits you both.

I've only had a couple minor hemorrhoid issues. They were cause by excessive strain during exercise. They were painful. Since yours needed to be operated on I assume they are far worse than I have personal experience with. So, good luck and hope it goes well for you.
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PostThis post was deleted by René on 25 September 2020, 17:44.
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Re: Post surgery anal sex issues. Advice?

Unread postby subliminaladult » 9 September 2020, 20:23

FeliHodges wrote:Old thread but anyway I also had surgery there and it was hard for me to get over it quickly.


What did you end up doing? It’s been a couple of years now, and I’m comfortable taking some dildos, but for the most part still struggling with some stuff...
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