Question for Tops on pleasure?

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Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby MALayhee700 » 22 December 2019, 02:11

I wanted to ask a simple question. When you're on top and in control, who's pleasure do you value more? Yours? Or the guy you're fucking? I am interested and think its ok if you have a selfish answer.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Brenden » 22 December 2019, 12:37

Well, when I'm topping, I'm topping my husband, and I value his pleasure, which is very pleasurable to me. It's symbiotic.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 22 December 2019, 14:16

I think I kinda need to be a bit selfish when I’m topping. For years when I was first sexually active, I refused to top. I just found it all a bit intimidating. When I eventually did come around to the idea and give topping a go, I could never actually reach orgasm. I think it’s because I was too focused on what the bottom was feeling and how they were enjoying the experience. I put myself second and couldn’t really get anywhere because of it, more than that I found topping a bit of a stressful experience.

These days, I’ve come to the conclusion that not only does putting my own enjoyment first help me find the experience more enjoyable, but it lets me invest in the moment more and be more present. I think that makes me a better partner for the person I’m with.

Whilst I wouldn’t say be selfish, I’d say your enjoyment is just as important as theirs for a good experience for both of you and it’s the factor you have the most control over.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby MALayhee700 » 22 December 2019, 16:25

Brenden wrote:Well, when I'm topping, I'm topping my husband, and I value his pleasure, which is very pleasurable to me. It's symbiotic.


I'm like you, I value the guy who is topping me, his pleasure over mine. I have topped before many times, but I don't count myself as versatile. I view bottoming as a superior pleasure, so in return the guy having sex with me gets control, I view it as a fair trade off.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Marmaduke » 22 December 2019, 17:17

MALayhee700 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Well, when I'm topping, I'm topping my husband, and I value his pleasure, which is very pleasurable to me. It's symbiotic.


I'm like you, I value the guy who is topping me, his pleasure over mine. I have topped before many times, but I don't count myself as versatile. I view bottoming as a superior pleasure, so in return the guy having sex with me gets control, I view it as a fair trade off.

I don’t think you’re understanding what he’s saying.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby rogonandi » 22 December 2019, 19:41

When I top, I try to pace myself and I read the husband’s body language so I can cum around same time he does. When I bottom, I’ll also try to read his body language and pace myself. Since we’ve been together a long time it’s easier to read the signs.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Eryx » 24 December 2019, 16:33

Marmaduke wrote:I think I kinda need to be a bit selfish when I’m topping. For years when I was first sexually active, I refused to top. I just found it all a bit intimidating. When I eventually did come around to the idea and give topping a go, I could never actually reach orgasm. I think it’s because I was too focused on what the bottom was feeling and how they were enjoying the experience. I put myself second and couldn’t really get anywhere because of it, more than that I found topping a bit of a stressful experience.

These days, I’ve come to the conclusion that not only does putting my own enjoyment first help me find the experience more enjoyable, but it lets me invest in the moment more and be more present. I think that makes me a better partner for the person I’m with.

Whilst I wouldn’t say be selfish, I’d say your enjoyment is just as important as theirs for a good experience for both of you and it’s the factor you have the most control over.
I totally agree with this! Finding a balance is essential either way. There are bottoms who cum and just don't want to do anything after which sucks, and there are tops who rush everything to cum without caring about the bottom. Those are both the bad experiences. You always have to care for the other guy but it's still kind of the main point for you to get off. If you manage to get the pleasure you're seeking in the experience and paying attention to the other guy, it's all going to be enjoyable!
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 26 December 2019, 19:11

Well seems I'm quite versatile lately. Currently I have a regular top and a regular bottom. Keep in mind I consider myself poly. I very muck like both these guys. In both cases I'm kinda into making my partner happy. Sure, I have things that float my boat and all but it's best when the guy I'm with is enjoying it - that makes me get into it all the more. Funny because I feel I'm sub when I bottom and my top kinda likes it that way. That is in a very much normal way in which I guess some will get and other on here... When I top, I become the dominate one and my bottom enjoys (again think within norms) it so I feed that more. Works for US what can I say. In the end only one thing matters - that it works for both.

Also though, the guy has to be into me. I can't think of anything more unsatisfying as "just a fuck". i'd rather just jerk off.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 26 December 2019, 20:35

Gosh, I sure do miss topping.. I guess I should consider one day changing doctors and urologists...

I always saw my penis not as a thing of beauty, but a tool to connect to others. For M2M, the penetration of a man's ass is my way of becoming one with another man. So I never was in a rush for it to be over. Sometimes, I had to rush because some bottoms prefer it fast and quick. I never had a problem holding off orgasm, but I have to admit as I got older the opposite was the problem -- getting orgasm might take way too long than the bottom desires the connection.

I could never claim to be the butchest top as I';m way too romantic and in the moment as opposed to being detached and just "getting off". i recall years ago a fuck-buddy who I just loved to fuck (sometimes even when he was asleep (or so pretending to be), I tried to get it on with him one more time before he left for work when I saw a look of fear in his eyes. I broke down and got weepy. As much as I wanted to fuck him once more, I never wanted to heart a man that I was fucking. I wanted him to WANT me to top him. Anyway, he told me something that bothered me. He said sex was basically a selfish act, and that is just part of the way the world runs. He told me about another fuck buddy who would fuck him doggy while thumbing through porn mags of women getting fucked doggy. So basically, the dude was using my guy as a cum receptacle. Since no woman was obviously available, he had to use the porn to make it work. I found it SO distasteful. I want to engage my bottom. I want to sense his breathing, his verbal and non-verbal communications. I want to smell him, to taste him , to feel his body moving with mine.. The last thing I want to do is fantasize he isn't even there and I'm fucking someone else. What an insult to one's partner -- at least in MY mind.

Of course for me it want a bit further, not only the emotional, but I always fantasized getting a guy I physically found attractive and emotionally related to to become pregnant. I'm by far attracted to men over women, but one of the reasons I had very low interest in str8 sex was I found out in my early 20's that I was SO infertile it wasn't worth trying. So the though of fucking a woman was just a reminder of just how inferior my sperm was. With a guy, I can fuck and not be reminded of my shame. Procreation is the only downside in my mind to m2m sex. Otherwise, I find it far more superior because at least for many of us, we were raised on a lifetime of seeing other males as competition. I would much rather give up the competition urge we have with other guys, and just spend all my time inside his ass, inside his mouth kissing, and inside his heart loving him. Fucking and loving a guy is the closest thing to heaven on earth.
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Bli6485 » 11 January 2020, 14:44

Both. Obviously if im in control im going to make it feel good for me but for the bottom i just look for signs in their body language that theyre enjoying it. My favorite sign is when a guy rides me and his hard dick is bouncing all over the place lol
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby Into_anon » 14 January 2020, 03:16

I dont respond to many posts on this forum, but had to chime in here. First of all, to my detriment, I didnt come to grips with my sexuality and the fact that I craved cock until my late 30's. Id had 2 experiences in my late teens and early 20's but never really got serious until about 20 years ago.

That said, I wanted to say that Im of two minds on this subject. There are times that I am soley into anonymously having men come into my hotel room which is usually darkened (I travel extensively for work), find me ass up, blindfolded, and lubed, and have them strip down without a word, have me suck them or they stroke themselves hard, then work their cock into me, and pound my ass until they shoot. I know many of you find this behavior repulsive, and youre free to judge away. I take responsibility for my actions, am on prep, and am tested constantly. There is just something about submitting my ass to another man and having him use it as he wishes. Most of the time, this is exactly all they do: mindlessly thrust into me until they scream and collapse on top of me. They quietly get dressed and leave, most times never having uttered a cohearent word and never having touched any other part of me. Occasionally Ill get rimmed, stroked, or sucked, sometimes until I cum, but most times not. As I said, Im happy to just have this particular kink scratched.

Conversely, there are also times when I prefer to have men come over and have a full on romp in the sack. Kissing, licking, making out, sucking, stroking, and then inevitably fucking. Thing is, what usually happens is once we start fucking, all activities related to my pleasure usually end, and all efforts tend to lend themselves to the guy with his cock in my ass getting off, which he does, a d about 8 times out of ten, thats it... he may even lie there and cuddle, but no effort to getting me off. I find this rude, thoughtless and downright fucked up. I realize being a top can be a pretty labor intensive undertaking, but there are positions where its easy to stroke a bottom's cock as youre fucking him... cowboy, missionary, etc. Additionally, most bottoms are so aroused and erotically sensitive after being fucked long and hard that a couple of minutes of lubed cock massage by the top after pulling out will cause him to shoot with gasps of pleasure. Just trying to send the message to you tops that while we love feeling your cock plowing in and out of us, we really love it (most of us anyway) when we ger to cum as well. Simply take a moment, be creative and share a little. The next time you fuck one of our ilk... youll be glad you did!
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Re: Question for Tops on pleasure?

Unread postby uncut7in » 14 January 2020, 21:37

Since 1981 I haven't been bottom, but have topped several hundred guys. I really love fucking and there's no way I want to take a cock. I love the feeling as my cock thrusts in and out, then withdrawing flipping the bottom and ramming my cock in using different positions. I suppose there is an element of domination and control, but I regard the bottom as an equal partner in the sexual act. I like it when he begs me to fuck him, and asks me not to stop.
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