Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

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Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Guy93 » 7 May 2019, 00:17

Hi there,

So I have a dilemma that I would like to hear your opinion about.

I am a 25 year old (gay)guy and I am still virgin. So yeah, that means I haven't had sex with anyone in my life so far.
This is because from puberty on I had some major personal issues about acceptance, being gay, some big mental and social issues and sexuality in general. That being said, I absolutely didn't feel ready for sex, dating, flirting whatsoever.

Since a few months I started to feel better and more comfortable about myself which I am very happy about. I can really say now that I enjoy having contact/flirting with guys and dating. I think slowly I'm beginning to feel ready to have sex actually, which a while ago I thought I never would.

So I am still virgin, and I am not ashamed of it because I know what's behind it and I absolutely wasn't ready for it.
However, telling a guy is something that scares me, it still feels a little awkward to me.
(Also at this point, I don't really care anymore if my first time is a hook-up/some guy I just met, or a potential lover to be honest. Ofcourse would be great if it was a nice guy who I genuinely like and had a few dates with at least but ok, life doesn't usually go the way you think)

What should I do? When I would meet a guy and we would get to that point, should I tell him I actually have zero experience? Is that a turn-off? Or do you have any experience with a virgin guy?

Greets! :)
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Eryx » 7 May 2019, 00:51

In your place, I would, because then the other guy wouldn't expect me to know the ropes and would be more patient about helping me through it. Bottoming for the first time can be painful, so the guy should take it nice and slow if that's what you're looking to do. If you want to be a top for the first time, then your guy can tell you to pick up the pace, go slower or change positions if he knows you're getting the gist of it still.

Most guys won't care about your virginity. Some are even aroused with the idea. And after the first one, you won't have to worry about that anymore.

Good luck!
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Jryski » 7 May 2019, 03:12

You should tell them and if they're respectful and are willing to go at your pace then go for it! I had the same problems as you and I always told them straight up when I met guys when I was like 20. Some of them didn't believe me, some of them stopped talking to me, and some of them were actually really rude about me not willinng to jump into sex by the second or third time we met. It felt pretty bad but I just moved on from that and eventually met some great guys who were totally chill about it. Good luck! :)
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Guy93 » 7 May 2019, 18:44

Thanks for the answers.

Yeah, maybe it is better to tell the guy indeed. I think I like bottomming more than to top, at least for the first time I'm sure I want to bottom. So indeed in this case it's better to tell the guy so he knows he has to take things a bit slower and gentle as it might take some time to get used to it as you said before ;)
Also, it's best to tell the guy a bit before right? By that I mean not at the point when we already lowered our pants, and then tell him,
"Oh...by the way..."

I really hope this isn't a dealbreaker for guys, I just hope they will not think I am a loser or something.. or that he thinks "Look I just want us to fuck and have a good time, not really into exploring and learning a zero experienced guy..."
Sigh...well maybe I am overthinking now.

Thank you so much!
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Shaved-Nudist » 7 May 2019, 22:03

When I lost my anal virginity, I told the top and he was very considerate. He used extra lube and went in slowly and asked if I was having any pain. In the end, it was a very wonderful experience.

I would suggest that you tell him at the start.
Try living nude!
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby Jryski » 7 May 2019, 23:36

Shaved-Nudist wrote:When I lost my anal virginity, I told the top and he was very considerate. He used extra lube and went in slowly and asked if I was having any pain. In the end, it was a very wonderful experience.

I would suggest that you tell him at the start.

I second that!
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Re: Should I say to a guy I am virgin?

Unread postby uncut7in » 26 May 2019, 12:41

I don't mind at all if a guy tells me he's a virgin, in fact I quite like that. I'd probably indulge in plenty of sexy foreplay to get him aroused, then use one or two fingers with plenty of lube to probe his asshole gently. I would try and find the most comfortable position for him before I'd try to enter him, and always take it at his pace. I've only had one or two first-timers who have been too tight to take me.
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