Shy and submissive guys, need your advice! (Not BDSM)

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Shy and submissive guys, need your advice! (Not BDSM)

Unread postby Nomadic_Jason » 10 November 2020, 19:17

This question is for the guys who play the submissive role in the relationship and too shy to initiate:

How do you expect your partner to make a move on you? (Follow up info below)

My husband says he is a submissive lover. For a long time, I thought being “submissive” was merely being shy or anxious when it comes to initiating sex or romance. I started to resent him because he would never make a move. I would hold out, thinking he would eventually give in, but he doesn’t.

To add to the frustration, my husband gets really awkward when he knows I am trying to put moves on him, and even acts awkward during sex. It’s not that he acts as if he doesn’t want it, but my husband comes off as really stand-offish and bitchy when he feels nervous or anxious. Unfortunately, I get the same response. I have to try hard to not let it kill my mood or erection. But as time goes by, it’s starting to keep me from trying.

Last week, I was trying to find advice on “how to initiate sex when your partner is way too shy”. I came across an article that explained the shyness or awkwardness that keeps a submissive person from taking charge can be overwhelmingly strong, like a fear of heights.
I found that very surprising, but also common?

So, back to my question, if you were like my husband, how would you prefer I make my moves? I have also tried sexting or sending dick pics thinking that would make it easier for him, but he is even too awkward for that.
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Re: Shy and submissive guys, need your advice! (Not BDSM)

Unread postby René » 13 November 2020, 17:28

I'm submissive but not too shy to initiate sex :D (as my husband will attest, hahaha)

But maybe slightly related is that my libido was very low for a long time which caused me to not initiate, and the way I liked for my husband to do it was to get us to cuddle in bed and just see where it went. :3
I think I liked that because it kept expectations low and just allowed whatever was going to happen to develop naturally. But then once we were in bed, after we cuddled a bit, I did/do like him to kind of take charge, as I imagine your husband does.
Maybe this helps?
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