Struggling to embrace attraction to males

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Struggling to embrace attraction to males

Unread postby DougDimmadome » 21 March 2020, 06:16

I'm 30 and ever since i became sexually attracted to females I became equally attracted to males sexually as well. I've always enjoyed seeing guys dick and balls and often fantasized about hooking up with guys but never acted on it. A few years ago i got the opportunity to get oral from a guy and decided to meet up with him and really enjoyed having sexual fun with a guy but never tried being sexual with a guy after the one time for a couple of years. While i was going through a dry spell after my first male hook up I got desperately horny and would fantasize about being sexual with a guy again so much that i gave into my urges and found a couple of guys on a dating app to let me explore sexually with them and had a lot of fun pleasuring guys but couldn't be fully comfortable with what i was doing because i like it so much that i was afraid of becoming a whore and hooking up with as many guys as i could as much as i could. Now about half a year later i cant stop thinking and fantasizing about giving in to and letting myself become a slut and get freely used by guys and part of me really wants to give in and embrace this fantasy but some other part of me gives me uneasy feelings about giving in and stops me from committing and I'm not sure what to do.
DougDimmadome
 
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Re: Struggling to embrace attraction to males

Unread postby lufia » 21 March 2020, 20:04

I understand the feeling. I was probably 18 before I realized that I realized that I was bi. I've been with women over the years, but never a man. As time has gone on, my desire for a man has increased, while my desire for women has decreased, and now I only fantasize about having a man inside me. I dated a guy on and off for about a year, but we were both "virgins", and we were both too afraid to make the first move, so nothing sexual ever happened.I come from a religious background. I even taught a Sunday School class at 15. Though I started fingering myself at a young age, I didn't admit it to myself that I was attracted to men until after I left religion because I thought I would go to hell. I think the only reason I don't identify as gay at this point is that I maybe still haven't fully come to terms with it. I'm 38 years old and still firmly in the closet. My current living situation makes it impossible to be out right now, but I don't know that I would be even if I could, even though I want to be out. I think there is some part of my subconscious that is still clinging to the hetero world, I guess. I don't know. I definitely understand what you are going through though.
lufia
 
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PostThis post was deleted by Twinkie on 24 March 2020, 14:18.
Reason: Shouldn’t have posted it.


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