t/b ?sex

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t/b ?sex

Unread postby nowitness123 » 25 January 2019, 17:02

Hi all. I am 20 y.o. guy from Ukraine.
And yea, i'm the virgin. Last couple of years i feel like i need some relationship. I don't know why but sometimes i want it so badly. I can't hide it anymore So i ask you what is the best way to find right guy in your opinion? Actually i want sex but not with stranger. I feel like i need some kind of connection before sex. Another problem is in that on all dating sites almost all folks need to know if you are top or bottom. It confuses me all the time. I really dont't know what i prefere more. The guys who are 100% sure that you are top or bottom you knew that from the very begining? It some sort of thing that you are born with? HOW I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? AHHH, that really messed me up...
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby Brasileiro » 25 January 2019, 18:27

Some know, because they crave for being taken or taking someone, but some just find out and there are some who change along the way or are versa from day one. It is about pleasing eachother and you do not have to have anal sex from the get go.
You could try to find another virgin who you are attracted to and just explore what you both like.
You can also start out with toys to see what you like. Be careful with toys that are not meant for anal sex. Make sure they flare out enough to not be sucked in. And use plenty of lube!
Last edited by Brasileiro on 23 February 2019, 14:41, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby nowitness123 » 25 January 2019, 19:57

Thanks for advice! I appreciate it.
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Top/Bottom

Unread postby Vertical » 3 February 2019, 02:22

And yea, i'm the virgin.

Men don’t have a vagina.

Another problem is in that on all dating sites almost all folks need to know if you are top or bottom.

There are far more people who want a massage than there are masseurs, and there are far more bottoms than tops, which is why you should advertise yourself as a top in the beginning. The top needs an erection, therefore the bottom must be sufficiently attractive for him. The bottom needs oral skills for his foreplay duties and then bottoming skills sufficent for the accomodation of the top's penis, which requires some training. I don't know whether there are already gay sex shops in Ukraine that stock hundreds of these anal training & recreation tools.

Urban Dictionary: Fluffer (noun) a person in the adult entertainment industry whose job it is to give male porno stars blowjobs in order to get them ready to perform.

Actually i want sex but not with stranger. I feel like i need some kind of connection before sex.

Life’s not easy at the bottom. That will reduce your options and slow down your sexual education.

P. S.
Always practice Safer Sex.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby Brasileiro » 3 February 2019, 10:59

@vertical, I have never seen such an inhumane look on sex. You talk about it as if it is porn.

When it comes to sexlife, virgin just means with no sexual experience and is not related to gender and definitey not a bodypart.

One does not have to advertise themselves as anything (if anything, virgin in itself will attract a lot of people) and to imply that you need all kinds of skills (and) to be attractive sounds like it is all about pleasing people tops. How disgusting. As if the other partner has no feelings.

To talk about "being in the bottom" as if there is some hiarchy and saying wanting a connection and not wanting to have sex with a stranger will reduce options and slow down your sexual education as if one needs to get a lot of partners and is going towards an exam or something, is almost bullying and very intimidating. Sounds like something a father woud tell his son before raping him and line up some friends to rape him too.


The reality is that there is also sex that comes with love and effection and that you can take your time to find out what is nice and what not. One can have meaningful relationships as a gay person, you know. In which people are equal, unlike in pornworld.
If that is what one wants, that is what he should seek.
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Re: Top/Bottom

Unread postby AZBLUEEYES » 14 February 2019, 06:37

[quote="Vertical"][quote]
And yea, i'm the virgin.
[/quote]
Men don’t have a vagina.

[quote]
Another problem is in that on all dating sites almost all folks need to know if you are top or bottom.
[/quote]
There are far more people who want a massage than there are masseurs, and there are far more bottoms than tops, which is why you should advertise yourself as a top in the beginning. The top needs an erection, therefore the bottom must be sufficiently attractive for him. The bottom needs oral skills for his foreplay duties and then bottoming skills sufficent for the accomodation of the top's penis, which requires some training. I don't know whether there are already gay sex shops in Ukraine that stock hundreds of these anal training & recreation tools.

[i]Urban Dictionary: [b]Fluffer[/b] (noun) a person in the adult entertainment industry whose job it is to give male porno stars blowjobs in order to get them ready to perform. [/i]

[quote]
Actually i want sex but not with stranger. I feel like i need some kind of connection before sex.
[/quote]
Life’s not easy at the bottom. That will reduce your options and slow down your sexual education.

P. S.
Always practice Safer Sex.[/quote]

Why are there so many more bottoms than tops? It's frustrating because I can't top. Wish I still could.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby ajakes124 » 14 February 2019, 10:52

I think you sort of always know what you prefer, but you should try both so you know how to do both. Personally, I am purely vers. I always say I’m easy with my partners, I don’t mind being top or bottom

Я надеюсь, что ты можешь найти кого-то нового и приятного.. кого-то вроде тебя. Так что, ты можешь попробовать обе позиции ;)

I think the best way to find someone would be apps, but be honest and say you are new and you want to become friends first then when you’re comfortable you want to try both.

Все что я могу сделать, это сказать - удачи! А дай мне знать, как все проходить))
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby nowitness123 » 15 February 2019, 14:40

Re: t/b ?sex

by ajakes124 » Yesterday, 06:52
I think you sort of always know what you prefer, but you should try both so you know how to do both. Personally, I am purely vers. I always say I’m easy with my partners, I don’t mind being top or bottom

Я надеюсь, что ты можешь найти кого-то нового и приятного.. кого-то вроде тебя. Так что, ты можешь попробовать обе позиции ;)

I think the best way to find someone would be apps, but be honest and say you are new and you want to become friends first then when you’re comfortable you want to try both.

Все что я могу сделать, это сказать - удачи! А дай мне знать, как все проходить))
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Хорошо. Спасибо)
Actually i decided that its not the perfect timing for me to have relationship. I also came to conclusion that sex with one-night stand either is not possible or will not give me what i want.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby mxguy01 » 15 February 2019, 17:26

First, don't put a whole lot into the top vs bottom thing when it comes to a real relationship. If you care for each other you will find ways to please each other in the bedroom.

How to find a guy: Been covered a lot in other posts so search for them if you want more reading. The basics - put yourself out there somehow. Wow. Enlightening. Hey we all got to find what works for us as individuals. Doesn't sound like apps will be a good source IMO. Just too many that want a quick hookup and that is it. You can try ones more towards dating but I suspect you largely run into the same thing. I feel it is better to just go out and do things if you can. For me I'm conveniently located near a gay area. There are plenty of LGBT activities to get involved in. That is the way I proceeding. Worse case is I just hang out with at least some gay folks or folks who are largely accepting of gays and it's good to have friends.

As far as topping and/or bottoming and knowing which your are, I'd echo much of the advice of the above. Do nothing your not interested in doing. You should expect the same for any partner. In my case I really kind of knew what I wanted to try. That also told me I had an attraction to just that. So I identify myself as a "bottom". However, if it is someone I've managed to form an bond with, well then I'll have a strong desire to flip. Therefore that leads me to clarify myself as "Vers Bottom". I have no shame in that. I have no problem with that "label" as it's more of "that nice but who cares". A bit personal but hopefully this helps. So even if you have no idea if you want to be top vs bottom vs versatile, for you (because you mention needing that connection) it's not going to matter until you find that one you want to be with (even if it happens for only a few hours).

Keep looking and someday you will find that one. OMG do it right and enjoy the experience when it does happen for you. Besides, what's the alternative.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby iBttm » 19 February 2019, 11:56

If you dunno what you are, just say you're "versatile."
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby grayarea1899 » 22 February 2019, 21:47

It’s okay if you know. I didn’t. Turns out with some guys I bottomed, some I topped and some we both did both. I definitely prefer versitile like me. Sometimes I crave getting fucked and sometime I want to fuck. Don’t stress too much.
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Re: t/b ?sex

Unread postby nowitness123 » 1 November 2020, 16:21

Thank you all for replies) Now i definetelly sure that i prefer to top))
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