Threesomes

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Threesomes

Unread postby René » 23 March 2020, 12:32

This partially ties in with this thread for anyone who hasn't read that yet, though my outlook is apparently changing somewhat rapidly and some of what I said there is now out of date.

I'm curious to hear about other people's experiences with threesomes.

Brenden and I just had our first during our holiday in the Washington, D.C. area. (I know, the timing was borderline unethical in light of the coronavirus thing, but the guy accepted the risk and he's really fit and not around vulnerable people a lot. We were no longer showing any symptoms when we got together anyway and he seems to be fine.)

It was actually a 5-day thing with just about the most amazing, sweetest, hottest guy I could imagine, and it was totally incredible.

It was never awkward - we were compatible with him on so many levels and instantly felt comfortable with him. It was like we'd known him for years.

I don't think it could have worked if either of us had had any doubts about it or wasn't totally into it, but we both really wanted to do this and felt we were ready for it and we were very excited about the guy we found to do it with, and it was amazing.

It didn't feel like a hookup at all (even though we found him on Grindr). He was really loving and affectionate and we actually spent more time cuddling, playing board games, cooking, eating, talking, cuddling up to TV shows and movies, kissing, holding hands, spooning, and sleeping in each other's arms than we did having sex. :3

Don't get me wrong, the sex was amazing and there was a lot of it, but the most amazing thing was just lying in his arms.

I don't know what exactly this was, but I liked it a lot. :heart:

It felt more like we suddenly had a boyfriend for 5 days. He suggested we think of him as our vacation boyfriend :P though he said it could eventually have been more than that if we lived closer.

It actually felt a lot like it did when Brenden and I first met up IRL. (Why are the most amazing guys always Americans, anyway? :pfft:)

We wished we could roll him up in our suitcase and take him home with us. :P
He also seemed very sad when we had to drive away from his house to catch our flight. We spent like 15 minutes just cuddling on his couch, none of us wanting to get up, and after we said goodbye he kind of sulkily sat on his stoop waving as we drove away.
I doubt this is the last time we'll see him, and maybe eventually something more will come of it. I hope so.

I'm not sure I'll want to have another threesome with anyone else anytime soon, just because this guy was so awesome I can't imagine anyone else measuring up to what we just experienced. :P

Anyway, this experience totally made our trip worthwhile with everything in D.C. being closed, and it's brought Brenden and me closer together. :3

But I doubt this is a normal thing to happen when you meet up with a guy from Grindr :P

Edit: For anyone reading this later: somehow a lot of relevant discussion ended up in this thread: Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or PrEP)
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby rogonandi » 23 March 2020, 13:33

Prepare to be surprised. :awesome:

Ours was with a mutual friend of many years. It was pretty interesting since I never had sex with anyone other than my husband before.

I think it changed the dynamic between me and him since conversation with him always gravitates toward flirting now. Things between my husband and I haven’t changed and from what I have seen they haven’t between him and the third either.

I’m glad to hear you and Brendan had a good time though. :)
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby René » 23 March 2020, 14:55

rogonandi wrote:Ours was with a mutual friend of many years. It was pretty interesting since I never had sex with anyone other than my husband before.

In our case, neither of us had ever had sex with anyone but the other before. :3
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Brenden » 23 March 2020, 14:57

In the little time we had with him he carved out a hole in my heart that is now empty and aches.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby uncut7in » 23 March 2020, 19:59

I must have had a couple of dozen in the past 5 years. Most comprised another top guy my age and a younger bottom, a couple of times it was with an established couple. I think everyone found it a positive experience. On a couple of occasions we've added a vers/bottom to the mix to make a foursome.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Derek » 23 March 2020, 20:10

Was the reason you guys came to America just to fuck him?
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Brenden » 23 March 2020, 20:42

Derek wrote:Was the reason you guys came to America just to fuck him?

No, this guy was a happy coincidence. We didn’t know him until he messaged me on Grindr while we were in our hotel, which was right next to his subdivision.

We came to America out of René’s obsession with another guy and wanting to solve a mystery, which we did (rather unsatisfyingly).
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Eryx » 23 March 2020, 22:40

Very interesting, I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I don't think I'm comfortable with it right now because I was a little traumatized by my previous boyfriend. Meeting other guys other involved him doing drugs (cocaine mostly) and not performing while I was left embarrassed and pressured into doing things I didn't want to do. I always kind of just gave up and wanted to leave, nervous, uncomfortable and confused.

My current boyfriend doesn't seem interested in it at all and I'm not really interested either. My past relationship made me more jealous and "calm," if I can call it that, so who knows? Maybe it's an idea that comes back later on, when we've settled a little more, but it just seems like a very distant possibility. And I always used to get more or less nervous with meeting guys like this, I don't think it will go away with time. I'm weird sometimes...

Still, I'm an advocate for it when that's what the couple wants. There's nothing inherently wrong with it and can probably be a very good time. If you're comfortable and able to separate things, there isn't much that can go wrong beyond there just being no chemistry. It seems that it wasn't the case though :)
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby rogonandi » 23 March 2020, 22:43

René wrote:
rogonandi wrote:Ours was with a mutual friend of many years. It was pretty interesting since I never had sex with anyone other than my husband before.

In our case, neither of us had ever had sex with anyone but the other before. :3

It was the only other guy I’ve ever been with as well. It was specifically because I never been with anyone other than the husband and he was horny and willing. I apparently give amazing head. :lol:
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Magic J » 24 March 2020, 00:29

Brenden wrote:We came to America out of René’s obsession with another guy and wanting to solve a mystery, which we did (rather unsatisfyingly).

There's a story here. :shifty:

OT: Sounds extremely positive! I've never done so. I remember being asked once by a drag queen I knew and their boyfriend(?) a while back, but I chickened out.

Que sera. I'm certain there wouldn't have been cuddling involved. Seemed to be very into bondage. :lol:

Also, I'm referring to them as "a drag queen" because I had literally never seen them out of drag. Might have just had an interesting style, for all I know.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Brenden » 24 March 2020, 14:36

Magic J wrote:
Brenden wrote:We came to America out of René’s obsession with another guy and wanting to solve a mystery, which we did (rather unsatisfyingly).

There's a story here. :shifty:

There is indeed.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Magic J » 24 March 2020, 14:40

Brenden wrote:
Magic J wrote:
Brenden wrote:We came to America out of René’s obsession with another guy and wanting to solve a mystery, which we did (rather unsatisfyingly).

There's a story here. :shifty:

There is indeed.

Would you like to tell that story? :P
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PostThis post was deleted by René on 24 March 2020, 14:52.

Re: Threesomes

Unread postby René » 24 March 2020, 14:51

Magic J wrote:
Brenden wrote:
Magic J wrote:
Brenden wrote:We came to America out of René’s obsession with another guy and wanting to solve a mystery, which we did (rather unsatisfyingly).

There's a story here. :shifty:

There is indeed.

Would you like to tell that story? :P

It kind of involves a member of this forum who isn't totally out, so it may not be appropriate to share publicly. :P

I will say it was the guy I referred to in my polyamory thread.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Brenden » 24 March 2020, 14:53

I will say "isn't totally out" is an understatement. He's having tea with getting fucked by Mr Tumnus.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Magic J » 24 March 2020, 14:58

Roger that. Curiosity contained. :P
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Marmaduke » 24 March 2020, 15:03

I have had three threesomes in my time. All with me being the third wheel with a couple.

The first, a couple who wanted an additional top. They said they both wanted someone dominant and we're into things like being talked down to and humiliated. Not usually my bag, but it was in my younger days, I was horny and they were hot. Regrettably, I lost myself in the macho jock persona that I had created for myself and whilst fucking the bottom, went into a super cringeful porno dialogue of "Who likes this dick?" etc that built until I instructed "Tell him he could never hope to satisfy you like this dick" and the bottom complied. Apparently with too much conviction. Because the top, visibly hurt, then left the room with tears in his eyes. Was not invited back.

The subsequent two times, I just clicked much more with one person than the other and to my shame just largely sidelined them. I've found that the couple have entered into the agreement to try a involving another person based on a lack of experience in one or both, or a difference in expereince that was causing them little confidence issues. But sadly, that just manifested to one person being clumsy and crap in bed and I just clicked with the other person and lost all interest in them.

I think, linking into my response on the other thread, I'm just a hard-wired one on one man. I struggle to maintain interest in two people generally, much less at the same time. It's too much to keep track of and just annoys me. In love as in life, I pride myself on undertaking tasks one at a time and putting in my best effort, as opposed to multi-tasking to the detriment of performance or outcome.

It's been some considerable time since I even entertained the notion of indulging in hook-ups of two or more people. I just dismiss them out of hand. I also point blank refuse to persue anything vaguely sexual or romantic with anyone in a relationship, open or otherwise, even having spoken to both people and confirming they're both fine with something happening that they're not both involved in. I don't like the dynamic.

Whilst I am by no means morally opposed to casual, no strings encounters, I do enjoy that moment of connection. I think a lot of that enjoyment is not knowing what the encounter will lead to. A sense of optimistic hope that maybe it could become something more, even if I know that we've gone into it on the unspoken understanding that it wont. That's not a mindset I can find with someone I know is already in a relationship. It kills any and all sexual attraction I would have towards them. Sure, I can be playfully flirtatious with people, but in a super benign way.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Magic J » 24 March 2020, 15:18

Marmaduke wrote:The first, a couple who wanted an additional top. They said they both wanted someone dominant and we're into things like being talked down to and humiliated. Not usually my bag, but it was in my younger days, I was horny and they were hot. Regrettably, I lost myself in the macho jock persona that I had created for myself and whilst fucking the bottom, went into a super cringeful porno dialogue of "Who likes this dick?" etc that built until I instructed "Tell him he could never hope to satisfy you like this dick" and the bottom complied. Apparently with too much conviction. Because the top, visibly hurt, then left the room with tears in his eyes. Was not invited back.

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Safe word! Safe word! You're hurting my feelings!

But yeah... ouch.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Marmaduke » 24 March 2020, 15:22

Look, I know I'm a terrible person. I'm trying to be better. I really am.

However, in my defence, if you tell me you want a specific vibe, I cannot be held accountable for delivering you exactly what you asked for simply because you didn't believe that I'd commit. I am the Daniel Day Lewis of sexual role play. I find my character and I do not break for anything. I am in character until the performance is finished.
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Re: Threesomes

Unread postby Magic J » 24 March 2020, 15:31

I'm updating your profile to "homosexual golem and known cuckolder".
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