Top Conundrum

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Top Conundrum

Unread postby claphamguy » 13 February 2020, 20:39

Seeking the hive mind to help me out with this predicament. So, I'm in a new(ish) relationship - nearing a year. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life and I consider myself versatile and he's more of a top, although recently has started to get into bottoming. This is great for me because any opportunity to top I'll take as I love the experience of being in my partner.

The only issue is.... I have a hard time cumming in him. I tend to have to pull out and eventually jerk off. Are there any tips for being able to cum inside your partner? I feel like I'm failing as a top, which is a shame because I genuinely love it.

Other factors to consider:
- I don't watch a ton of porn, maybe once every 2 weeks.
- I jerk off occasionally, and am not a 'death grip' kind of guy
- For a while I think I felt reluctant to go 'all out' whilst fucking my partner because he is so new to bottoming, I didn't want to hurt him and so some of the sex has been a bit stop and start.

Any wisdom welcome!
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Re: Top Conundrum

Unread postby Marmaduke » 13 February 2020, 21:01

Ironically, it’s probably feeling like a failure as a top which is causing your issue in a self-fulfilling prophetic circle of sex unpunctuated by hands-free orgasm. As someone that’s been in your situation, try and get yourself more comfortable with concentrating on yourself and being less focused on trying to figure them out.
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Re: Top Conundrum

Unread postby mxguy01 » 14 February 2020, 02:05

I'd also say that learning to be a good top, with practice, you'll gain confidence that you're not hurting your partner but rather just the opposite. Then hopefully a lot of that "Stop and Start" goes away which was part of my experience with it all that caused said issue. Frustration in addition to anxiety is not helpful.
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