What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

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What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 8 June 2019, 16:06

Considering this is pride month and that this forum already serves and has served as a way for our community to find solidarity and strength, I think it would be good to discuss toxic ideas within our community that perhaps often don’t get challenged as much because of the insularity that groupthink tends to have. It could be beliefs about STDs that are unhelpful, bad positions or arguments people make when defending or asserting their (our) rights, to the way we interact with one another. Anyone?
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Brenden » 8 June 2019, 16:22

Douching.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Mike_Phel » 8 June 2019, 16:26

Understanding that no really does mean no.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Iamjava » 8 June 2019, 16:44

indeed.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 8 June 2019, 20:21

Brenden wrote:Douching.

:lol:

Is that your biggest pet peeve?
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Derek » 8 June 2019, 20:49

I think the frustration and humiliation involved in app-based dating has given rise to the idea that preferring "masc" men is a type of pathology best explained by self-hatred, when it is in fact the default choice and representative of a mainstream milieu which doesn't feel the need to attribute sexual stratification to a form of cultural/social oppression. And, as we've seen with certain members, preferring feminine men absolutely does not mean you are not contaminated by toxic masculinity.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 8 June 2019, 21:10

That there's more than two genders, or that gender is a spectrum, or that you can arbitrary label yourself anything that you make zero effort to look like physically.

The contradiction of saying "no means no" in one context (something I'm absolute about and always support) but then also dragging "internalised homophobe" gay men for not being open to dating feminine/fat/[insert race] men. I thought "no meant no"... no? Or does it only mean no when it's not a "privileged" masculine attractive gay man who YOU wanna fuck?

That PrEP is an adequate substitute for condoms, when PrEP only protects against HIV and nothing else. Gonorhea or however the fuck it's spelled is on the rise, people, and rapidly getting much harder to cure.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby erti » 8 June 2019, 21:32

Yeauxleaux wrote:The contradiction of saying "no means no" in one context (something I'm absolute about and always support) but then also dragging "internalised homophobe" gay men for not being open to dating feminine/fat/[insert race] men. I thought "no meant no"... no? Or does it only mean no when it's not a "privileged" masculine attractive gay man who YOU wanna fuck?


I wonder if it's like like in the Lesbian community? Like lesbians not wanting to date butch women. Then again I've never heard a lesbian women say "I will not date a butch women". I may of said to myself and been told by my mom not to look butch but I've never been oppose to dating butch women. However, I never find myself attracted to butch women and that's perfectly fine.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Brenden » 8 June 2019, 21:42

poolerboy0077 wrote:
Brenden wrote:Douching.

:lol:

Is that your biggest pet peeve?

Just the first thing that came to mind!
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Derek » 8 June 2019, 21:46

Brenden and Michael should form an NGO dedicated to raising awareness and introducing legislation devoted to protecting the precious and fragile mucosa lining our rectal walls.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 8 June 2019, 23:37

erti wrote:I wonder if it's like like in the Lesbian community? Like lesbians not wanting to date butch women. Then again I've never heard a lesbian women say "I will not date a butch women". I may of said to myself and been told by my mom not to look butch but I've never been oppose to dating butch women. However, I never find myself attracted to butch women and that's perfectly fine.
I think women are just a bit quieter about what they prefer, not announcing it as quickly as men do.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby erti » 8 June 2019, 23:52

Yeauxleaux wrote:
erti wrote:I wonder if it's like like in the Lesbian community? Like lesbians not wanting to date butch women. Then again I've never heard a lesbian women say "I will not date a butch women". I may of said to myself and been told by my mom not to look butch but I've never been oppose to dating butch women. However, I never find myself attracted to butch women and that's perfectly fine.
I think women are just a bit quieter about what they prefer, not announcing it as quickly as men do.


Makes sense... because I've heard straight women say they want a "nice guy" and they always pick up some douche bag because he's easy on the eyes. Then when women say they want a "bad boy"... they mainly mean someone who looks apart and not so much a criminal. Not saying all women do this but it seems pretty common.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Iamjava » 9 June 2019, 04:40

is it irony that the topic is about the gay community and the only real discussion is about lesbians?

i would write an elaborate post; however, i am still relatively new to this community.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby erti » 9 June 2019, 05:33

Iamjava wrote:is it irony that the topic is about the gay community and the only real discussion is about lesbians?

i would write an elaborate post; however, i am still relatively new to this community.


Usually when someone says "gay community" they also mean lesbians too.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Iamjava » 9 June 2019, 05:43

granted. usually, i bet, however, that it isnt dominated by gay men. :P
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby erti » 9 June 2019, 05:50

Iamjava wrote:granted. usually, i bet, however, that it isnt dominated by gay men. :P


Surely I can participate some how in a discussion here or there in a women's prospective. However I don't speak for all lesbian and bi women.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Iamjava » 9 June 2019, 06:39

i was merely commenting on the irony of it. it is funny to me. :P

i think the gays of the forum followed an insincere trend in a topic that was meant to be serious, and ironically the only person that took it seriously was bi. (though she has great points.)

ive had a lot of gay-christian arguments. as i get my mind back via meds, ill try to add to this thread.

and yes, erti, even a straight person with the knowledge of lgbt could add here!
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 9 June 2019, 07:28

Derek wrote:And, as we've seen with certain members, preferring feminine men absolutely does not mean you are not contaminated by toxic masculinity.

What’s sparked your recent interest in feminist discourse? Have you finally seen the close resemblance of females and bottoms that I’ve been arguing for years?
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Derek » 9 June 2019, 16:59

poolerboy0077 wrote:
Derek wrote:And, as we've seen with certain members, preferring feminine men absolutely does not mean you are not contaminated by toxic masculinity.

What’s sparked your recent interest in feminist discourse? Have you finally seen the close resemblance of females and bottoms that I’ve been arguing for years?

It's not sudden. I'm just woke. There are none woker.
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Re: What are some bad ideas pervasive in the gay community?

Unread postby Mike_Phel » 9 June 2019, 23:39

I mean there's no real obligation for an individual to explain why they have rejected the advances of someone.

Inherent prejudices should not play a part in personal preference, but humans are a territorial bunch whether they like to admit it or not.

Doesn't make it right.
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