Who are you out to?

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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Toddo » 4 October 2018, 00:35

mxguy01 wrote:To SplashSploo and Toddo, thanks for sharing here as well. That was what kind of made me feel I should share a bit as well. I'm actually pretty happy with the progress I've made on being out so far. Hell, most of the time I wear one of those silicone bracelets that has the pride colors. It's pretty noticeable IMO. I too don't exactly want to stamp "I'm Gay" on my forehead nor do I feel I need to scream it out. But I'll be damn'd if I'll ever be made to feel ashamed about it again. That much I own and no one can take it away from me now.

Off to the gym here at my apt complex wearing said bracelet. Pretty darn sure my neighbors know and for that matter know that I'm out. They all have been pretty cool about it. Everyone is pretty friendly with me so no one is offended.



Thats so awesome MX! Im very happy that your progress is going well :) :keke:

Jzone wrote:Splashy and Toddo — you guys are so sweet I think I'm getting a cavity. :D

Toddo wrote:Like it's harder for gay people in terms of experience because a lot of us didn't come out in high school and didnt have boyfriends during that time. Unlike straight people, they have that experience from high school.

Don't assume that straight guys get a pass on sexual experiences in high school. There are plenty of guys too nervous about it to follow through; almost like gay guys afraid to come out. I'm bi, could have had a lot of sexual fun in high school, but didn't. We all have our own timing.

Wow, this brings back many awkward memories from 40 years ago! I got so sick of adults asking me about my girlfriends when I was trying to figure out my own sexuality. Why do they think that's cute, or any of their fucking business? How about saying, "If you have special feelings about anyone and need help figuring those out, I hope you have someone to turn to." There is no instruction manual for being a worthwhile adult, so I guess we can give them all some slack.

I'm glad you guys are here!


Sorry i didnt mean it as if i was saying all straight people get a pass =] Indeed though we all have our own timing, and thanks glad to be here=] Its very comfortable knowing that im not alone and being able to come here and read others experience and take lessons from their own stories helps me a lot :)
I'm a Fricking Delight =]
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Tommiebee » 6 October 2018, 02:15

It is a difficult road. It's so much better now than it was.
The horizon of people I'm out to continues to expand, now including my doctors.
During my time in the Army, I was pretty confused about myself - people would come up to me and say "you're gay!" but since that was forbidden (and a crime at that point) naturally I denied it, and just stuffed my feelings way down deep.
Looking back, I think who and what I am must have been obvious to those around me, even if it wasn't yet clear to me.
I also experienced the unfortunate experience of "corrective rape" where 2 different Army women of higher rank bullied me into - 1 just flat out ordered me - having sex. I think that may have been the last straw for me. Rather than convert me into being attracted to women, it pushed me further away. Sex felt repulsive.
Then I gradually got in touch with my own feelings. As an artist around other artists, I was asked to model. One guy in particular would come cuddle after our session. And I opened myself to him.
For me, it's a contrast of night and day being shielded towards most people while fully open to some.
I hope I can get to the point where I am just open, myself, with the world.
I am a work in progress. I am so thankful for the opportunity to live my live my own way.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 6 October 2018, 23:09

I'm out to the person whom it matters the most too - myself. Slap me for being so stupidly self evident.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Satsuma » 6 October 2018, 23:25

mxguy01 wrote:I'm out to the person whom it matters the most too - myself. Slap me for being so stupidly self evident.


I wouldn't call that stupidly self-evident. It's surprising how we lie to ourselves sometimes. Congrats on being sure of who you are :)
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby CrimsonHeart » 7 October 2018, 13:18

mxguy01 wrote:I'm out to the person whom it matters the most too - myself. Slap me for being so stupidly self evident.


Actually I love this! :) So many people talk about how difficult it is for family and friends to accept their gay relative...but no one speaks about how difficult it is to discover yourself and to accept the real you after your brains have been fed a particular mindset and forced a particular lifestyle :)
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Tommiebee » 7 October 2018, 14:07

mxguy01 wrote:I'm out to the person whom it matters the most too - myself. Slap me for being so stupidly self evident.

Accepting yourself may be the most difficult task in all this.
It has been for me, anyway.
Only in the last year or so did I really get comfortable with myself & who I really am.
:|
A guy in his mid-70s in my support group has not, has never had sex with anyone, and has gotten terribly depressed over the whole thing.
:(
It got so I was ready to offer myself (I'm not his type according to him but desperation sometimes overlooks these things) to him, but he has more or less given up hope and pulled away from the group.

In case you haven't guessed, in addition to being an introvert I am an empath, so it's very difficult for me to watch someone suffer.
I am a work in progress. I am so thankful for the opportunity to live my live my own way.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Toddo » 8 October 2018, 08:02

Came out to another friend today, he's been really close to my group of friends the last two months so I thought to myself I shouldn't keep him in the dark anymore.

He is someone that throws the word faggot around a bit too much, but when I told him he was completely accepting of it. He said as long as I dont flirt with him he doesnt care. (honestly I've gotten that answer a lot when I tell people its starting to become funny) Anyways I told him nah man its not like that friends are friends and thats it nothing more will come of it.


He said "alright cool man I support you. If anyone ever says anything bad to you about that shit let me know and ill come kick their ass"

Also he told me he wasnt going to use that word anymore, I told him thanks it means a lot..

When he said that, that just made me feel even more better about telling him = ] :) :D :keke:
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Jzone » 10 October 2018, 01:22

Toddo wrote:Came out to another friend today, he's been really close to my group of friends the last two months so I thought to myself I shouldn't keep him in the dark anymore.

He is someone that throws the word faggot around a bit too much, but when I told him he was completely accepting of it. He said as long as I dont flirt with him he doesnt care. (honestly I've gotten that answer a lot when I tell people its starting to become funny) Anyways I told him nah man its not like that friends are friends and thats it nothing more will come of it.


He said "alright cool man I support you. If anyone ever says anything bad to you about that shit let me know and ill come kick their ass"

Also he told me he wasnt going to use that word anymore, I told him thanks it means a lot..

When he said that, that just made me feel even more better about telling him = ] :) :D :keke:

This is SO cool , Toddo. The most power we have is when we change the world one person at a time. It sounds like you did that with this friend. By being someone he respects and coming out to him — he can't use the word faggot and feel good about himself. That is awesome!
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 10 October 2018, 15:51

CrimsonHeart wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:I'm out to the person whom it matters the most too - myself. Slap me for being so stupidly self evident.


Actually I love this! :) So many people talk about how difficult it is for family and friends to accept their gay relative...but no one speaks about how difficult it is to discover yourself and to accept the real you after your brains have been fed a particular mindset and forced a particular lifestyle :)


TBH that is the part that I struggle with the most I think. Because for me I feel more that it was something I forced upon myself; that I'm the one responsible. That I should have stood up for myself. Sure, I had my reasons (aka excuses)...
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Toddo » 12 October 2018, 00:57

Just told my brother, he looked at me and said okay? Is that it?

I said yup that's pretty much it.

Then he walked back inside the house...

Just shrugged his shoulders and said okay

It was kind of funny LOL
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 15 October 2018, 15:42

Over the weekend I went wakeboarding with a friend I haven't seen in more than a year. Him and his old GF were good support for me at that time going though the divorce. Another one of those instances of me withdrawing as I just started declining invites at a point.

The short story: Pretty much had the same "no big deal" response as above. But this is a bit amusing in another way.

He has a RV/Trailer he keeps at the marina he stores his boat. Nice place for being in the middle of the Delta (flat ass farm land). I usually show up a bit early and we talk while waiting for others to arrive. He can drink pretty heavy but only when he doesn't plan on driving home. I could tell he already had a bit of his "Jim-akin juice" which is a play off both his first and last names. I learnt to be careful drinking that stuff. I planned on doing some 420 after my set so I was not drinking anything. So he starts telling me about the new girl he is currently dating. Last I seen him he just broke up with his GF of a year or so. He's divorced of some years back. He tells me he's seen about 100 women in the past year. Typically I would call BS on that but not him. He said he laid about 60 of them but had stopped counting. LoL.

I was planning on coming out to him but since he he opened up with that on me. I returned with "well I can tell you something about myself, I'm gay". Let it set in for just a brief second and then asked if he had any idea. I mean I sat in his boat with plenty of eye candy - stuff I'm interested in and stuff I'm not. He said he had no idea. My guess is that over time it will settle in that I really had a lack of interest in the women that showed up.

That was pretty much the end of the conversation about me being gay. Immediately I got the feeling it was just an non-issue rather than an issue that was being avoided. My friend obviously likes to talk about himself and his escapades even through the break up. I always lent an ear and it was typically an amusing or otherwise interesting story. He really liked his older girl but they were about a good for each other as gasoline and a match. She was the gasoline. The new one would be much better for him. She's really tall and he's fairly short; they seem to be having a good time with that alone.

So if I had any doubts: At the end of the day she was staying over. He ride's every second he get the chance so I immediately got the "hey wanna ride tomorrow" so again me being gay is obviously an non issue. It's probably a plus with him as I'm guaranteed non-competition for him now.

I think I'm on a course to just be totally out; a bit of a collision course in some respects. But sort of an planned collision course.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby SteavenDahito » 20 October 2018, 00:29

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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby azgayguy » 21 October 2018, 02:44

First person I actually told I was gay is a guy I grew up with and it was recent. We were both brought into this lifestyle by a "friend" who was a few years older and it was not the way either of us had expected our first time to go. I did admit it to a minister at our church around 15 only to find out he was gay too and was tortured by the same thoughts, I guess I kind of told him I was gay so that is two . Family I have never said a word to and probably never will but I think they know due to my multiple relationship tries with women all failing. Other than the one friend and the minister only my sex partners know as a straight guy doesn't do what I do.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Mergpijp » 21 October 2018, 10:10

Since I'm here in Sydney I started to have feelings for guys as well next to girls. I met a guy and we spent a lot of time together so far, I started really having that love idea what I could never expect. I only was a bit struggling with telling it to other people. I just called my bestfriend to tell her that I found someone and I might be biseksual, she answered that she was aswell what I didn't know yet. We had a really good talk and I think I just leave it with her yet. It feels so better to tell it to someone!
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Re: Who Are You Out To?

Unread postby sam22 » 22 October 2018, 22:46

Lucas wrote:Technically only my two ex's. My mom and dad probably know but I've never said anything. Also my siblings have probably surmised I like guys, and I am sure they told my friends, as they inquired if I was dating a guy, whom I was. I regret that they know. I want to go back in to closet.


Hey Lucas; I'm sorry to hear that man:(

I don't mean to pry and you don't have to answer this, but what are your main reasons for wanting to go back into the closet?

I wish you well.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby sam22 » 22 October 2018, 22:49

Only my younger brother (best friend in the world, who is also gay) and my ex/soulmate/hopefully friend.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby denn15607 » 26 October 2018, 00:53

I’m a twenty-one year old guy. I have been interested in guys for as long as I can remember. I just recently came out to my best friend. Who is more like a brother to me. Unfortunately alcohol was involved. But nothing happened. It felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. At the moment he is the only person I have told. And I do feel closer to him than I probably should. He is openly bi, which I think made it a little bit easier for me.
Now my only problem is I have no idea where to meet people in my area.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 19 November 2018, 23:07

I wear a silicon bracelet that is rainbow/pride colors. I'm straight acting so it's my outward sign. I don't do it to tell others as much as I do it for myself to say that I'm proud of myself including the fact that I'm gay. I still have times I would be uncomfortable wearing it and don't. Hopefully I can move beyond that as well at some point soon.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby uncut7in » 20 November 2018, 13:08

Out to family, also at work before I retired. Many of my non-gay friends know as well, as I lived with another guy for 26 years. Dont go round advertising the fact, but always admit it if asked.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 1 December 2018, 19:12

half the people I know. although, some people just can't handle the truth, so they don't deserve my honesty.
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