Who are you out to?

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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Szymonnikt » 2 December 2018, 13:46

Mostly anyone except my grandmother. I don't want to worry her.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 2 December 2018, 19:22

Funny that there is that thread about outing someone.

So I guess in the process of the divorce trial when the opposing party pointed out my rather insignificant charges to Hi Tops (well know gay bar in the Castro) was intentionally calling me out so to speak. I don't see that there was any other purpose. IMO it was explicitly outing me in a public court room. How many people can say that? Honestly I actually got a kick out of it; I smiled in response and it was a genuine smile. I am gay after all and I'm rather content with that. I will no longer ever, ever be made to feel ashamed for being gay. So honestly it was a bit of a happy moment in my life. I can be ok taking the high road and leaving the low roads to others.

So the negative part of that though: Has the "can't be ex fast enough, although it's coming up on 4 years" told our/my kids? Well to date she seems to be willing to stop at nothing so I can only assume "no way in hell she hasn't". I'm going to write letters to each kid; already have them started. Not the way I wanted to do this but I need to wrap it up for myself and for them and it can no longer wait. I've always said later always turns out to be a bad time. Well the old saying "Better late than never" also applies. Only thing worse than not finishing is not starting...
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Szymonnikt » 2 December 2018, 19:31

mxguy1 Sorry to hear that. It is hard to do it in a private manner so I can't imagine how it could feel to be forced to do it publicly without your own mental preparation. I hope you can stay in touch with your kids.

Wish you well :)
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Crisis_Jay » 3 December 2018, 17:40

I got drunk about 4 years ago and posted it on facebook (blocked my mother, brother, and a couple others from seeing it). The support was pretty amazing from most, but father's bible-thumping side of the family was completely silent. And they no longer contact me when they're in town.

So all my cousins and former classmates know. I've told no one at work. I still hide it for the most part in my everyday life.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 3 December 2018, 21:00

Szymonnikt wrote:mxguy1 Sorry to hear that. It is hard to do it in a private manner so I can't imagine how it could feel to be forced to do it publicly without your own mental preparation. I hope you can stay in touch with your kids.

Wish you well :)


Thank you. I don't say that enough on this forum.

I knew it was coming so I did have the opportunity to mentally prepare. Hence the smile on my face when sitting "on the stand" and the opposing attorney started down that path. They expected to use it to rattle me. Little does she know I'm proud to be gay. I did contemplated saying "So I had a couple beers in a gay bar, I'm not understanding what your question is here". I had decided to keep the answers generic. I was wearing the silicon bracelet that is pride colors at the time. I had a long sleeve shirt and sport coat so I don't know if the judge spotted it or not. No matter - that is for me not anyone else.

My last island of being afraid to simply be out is moto and I don't think that is going to last much longer.

Funny seeing the post about blurting out being gay on Facebook. Many times I've considered it both sober and inebriated. Tere's still a chance I may do just that.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Szymonnikt » 3 December 2018, 21:18

mxguy01 wrote:Funny seeing the post about blurting out being gay on Facebook. Many times I've considered it both sober and inebriated. There's still a chance I may do just that.

For me in this instance is more about that I don't know if it's something to announce. I mean I know I'm gay I'm not denying it by any stretch of the imagination. I just feel I need treating this situation as normal and just maybe one day give a post about that I met a boy I love (I haven't had one, yet :cry: )(Even if I don't understand why to share that privet thing with Internet). Normalization is treating it as something normal to you.

I understand that is something to be afraid of. The reaction of others. I was like that. Even I'm like that. But this is what I think is good to do. That why I'm not denying it if someone asks (except situation of health threat of course)
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 3 December 2018, 21:49

Szymonnikt wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:Funny seeing the post about blurting out being gay on Facebook. Many times I've considered it both sober and inebriated. There's still a chance I may do just that.

For me in this instance is more about that I don't know if it's something to announce. I mean I know I'm gay I'm not denying it by any stretch of the imagination. I just feel I need treating this situation as normal and just maybe one day give a post about that I met a boy I love (I haven't had one, yet :cry: )(Even if I don't understand why to share that privet thing with Internet). Normalization is treating it as something normal to you.

I understand that is something to be afraid of. The reaction of others. I was like that. Even I'm like that. But this is what I think is good to do. That why I'm not denying it if someone asks (except situation of health threat of course)


In the case of moto it is just that. I'm newer so my skills are less. Almost all are way better than me given they been riding since 5 yo for the most part. So they can easily take me out in a corner.

Funny how we think being out (working on that myself) is for others when it is really only about accepting ourselves.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Jzone » 3 December 2018, 22:08

mxguy01 wrote:...they can easily take me out in a corner.

Marty, surely you must know what erotic images this inspires.
Just an everyday boy Image doing everyday things
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Szymonnikt » 3 December 2018, 22:09

Jzone wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:...they can easily take me out in a corner.

Marty, surely you must know what erotic images this inspires.


:rofl:
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PostThis post was deleted by Brenden on 4 December 2018, 12:48.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby BlackBoi666 » 4 December 2018, 19:07

Szymonnikt wrote:Mostly anyone except my grandmother. I don't want to worry her.

I thought most Slavs were homophobic. Lmao
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby Szymonnikt » 4 December 2018, 19:16

BlackBoi666 wrote:
Szymonnikt wrote:Mostly anyone except my grandmother. I don't want to worry her.

I thought most Slavs were homophobic. Lmao


Not really. maybe just my luck but among students, they aren't really so many. Or As I said just my luck.
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Re: Who are you out to?

Unread postby mxguy01 » 5 December 2018, 01:26

Jzone wrote:
mxguy01 wrote:...they can easily take me out in a corner.

Marty, surely you must know what erotic images this inspires.

Naw. If I wanted to be suggestive I would have said:

...they can easily take me down hard and of course, I'd be inclined to go right back at them leading me to further punishment.
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