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I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 1 August 2019, 21:52
by thegreatwm
I have a problem and I hope someone could help. I noticed last year at work that I was being treated unfairly. I thought I was a straight heterosexual male. I'm also in the fashion industry. I noticed that gay men that are a lot younger than me are able to get hired and move up much quicker than me. I've put in the work and I have the time in service but I keep getting passed over. I made a decision back in April to announce that I was gay. This was not the truth and it was only to my coworkers. The idea was for me to do this for professional reasons in order to further my career. Before this, I had never experimented with men. I must say that it worked. Although I didn't get promoted, I did get a raise. I've also noticed much better general treatment from the main office as well as my co-workers. The problem comes from another guy that works here. His name is Greg and he's gay. He's expressed interest in me and everyone knows that he likes me. I've tried to play it cool in the office but he got more aggressive. I got too uncomfortable and pulled him to the side. I told him that I'm not really gay and I was just doing this to move my career along.

I expected him to leave me alone after that but he actually took offense to what I told him. He threatened to tell everyone what I did and based on the level of betrayal, I'd probably get fired. He told me the only way for me to stop him would be for me to give him a sexual favor. I was against this at first since the idea disgusted me but after thinking about it at home, I decided that I didn't want to screw up my life or career. I told myself that I'd do the favor for him so he could leave me alone.

So I met him at his car during lunch and I gave him what he asked for which was oral sex. It was my first time doing anything like this. I went all the way until he finished. What scares me is that I actually enjoyed it. I didn't feel disgusted and I felt like this was something I should have done long ago. So we've since became friends and we meet up everyday at lunch so I could give him what he likes.

The reason I'm posting this is because I'm confused right now. I've had girlfriends in the past and I've never been with a man. I have no interest in actually having sex with a man. I still plan to see women. It's just that I enjoy what I've been doing for him and it seems so natural for me. I don't know if this is a phase in my life or if I'm really gay and just running from it. If anyone has any wisdom to share, I'd really appreciate it.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 1 August 2019, 21:59
by lightnight
Bisexuality.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 2 August 2019, 00:14
by Eryx
Yeah I think you might be bisexual. And by saying this, I want to make it clear that bisexuals come in all shapes and sizes. Some guys like girls more than dudes, some guys like dudes more than girls, some of them are in-between. The fact that you enjoyed it might just mean you like guys to a lesser extent than girls, or maybe even that might change as you get into it and learn more about all the things you can explore down this path.

I have to say, though, if I were you I'd make sure to take screenshots and recordings of conversations to get this guys' actions to HR. What you did was wrong, but what he's doing is so, so much worse. And nobody should be treating you the way they did previously because of your sexuality. It's just as much prejudice as what we experience in other areas.

It never goes away I'm afraid...you just can't run away from yourself

Unread postPosted: 2 August 2019, 01:38
by Glasgowbidiscreet
Me too

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 2 August 2019, 04:06
by Iamjava
What eryx is saying is he raped you. And yes, you can also sue for that.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 2 August 2019, 11:28
by Jryski
That's tricky. The fashion industry is like the mean girls movie on uppers. Never tell anyone your secrets. Trust no one. But yeah being blackmailed into having sex is never okay.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 6 August 2019, 03:01
by jimbo_xix
Iamjava wrote:What eryx is saying is he raped you. And yes, you can also sue for that.


It's blackmail but it's not rape. He wasn't physically forced to blow the guy. He made a conscious decision that his job was more important than his dignity.

I don't see how he could sue for it either. It wasn't the company forcing him to have sex with a superior. He got caught in a lie and chose to cover his tracks rather than act like a man and be truthful. It's totally on him and no one else. Fool enjoyed it anyway lol.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 6 August 2019, 03:14
by Derek
Violent rape isn't the only type of rape. That's why we have phrases like date rape, or statutory rape. Being blackmailed into consenting is not consenting, which makes it rape.

But I must say the OP's story rings extremely false to me and it probably doesn't matter.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 6 August 2019, 03:24
by Eryx
Interesting exercise, nevertheless.

Re: I think I might be gay. Need advice

Unread postPosted: 6 August 2019, 03:30
by jimbo_xix
Derek wrote:Violent rape isn't the only type of rape. That's why we have phrases like date rape, or statutory rape. Being blackmailed into consenting is not consenting, which makes it rape.

But I must say the OP's story rings extremely false to me and it probably doesn't matter.


The black mail makes it sketchy. But it's not rape because he doesn't have to lie to keep his job. He can just be honest and avoid the whole problem. I don't see how it's rape.

But you're probably right. This is all some master/slave fantasy. Lol.