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Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 13 October 2019, 12:22
by Mergpijp
Hi all,

However I would love to bottom for my friend, I've always and will always be very unsure when it comes to the subject. For some reason I am extremely worried about the fact if it is clean down there or not. Even though I put my finger in it like half an hour before the sex and it came out clean, I still don't want him to top me because I'm just too unsure that it is for some reason dirty in there and I just don't want that to happen.

Is there anyone who can help me with this? I know I should just bottom and when his dick comes out clean everytime, it'll go away. But setting these first steps is extremely hard when I am this unsure about it.

Kind regards,

Rob

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 13 October 2019, 15:21
by mxguy01
Well the reality is that it may not come out totally clean every time. No matter how much you clean, in fact doing so too much makes a bigger mess as all the post on that issue that show up here indicate.

It also a bit irrational. The little amount that may happen can easily be handled with a nearby hand towel or some paper towels. Anyone willing to do anal should be able to accept that bit of risk.

Maybe someday you'll even get to the point of knowing you're pretty clean ala proper bottom diet and just go for it. LoL Seriously, a quick wipe and it's such a non-issue.

I myself (almost) always clean. To each their own on that.

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 13 October 2019, 16:27
by Eryx
I've been where you are, and there's no simple answer to it. It made me nervous too and I had to get used to it. Sometimes it will get dirty, but guys don't really care, they know where they're putting their dicks into. If it happens and it's bad, you can both just go to the shower and finish it up there :)

In most cases, though, when you feel the path is clear and nothing's coming out, probably nothing's going to come out. Just go for it. And since you're nervous, ask him to take it slow, lubricate it well, and try to relax. If you're too nervous it will hurt. Just try to get in the moment.

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 14 October 2019, 08:15
by rogonandi
If he uses a condom then it doesn’t matter how dirty you are. Once he’s finished he can take the condom off, throw the condom away, and have a nice clean penis beneath. :thumbsup:

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 14 October 2019, 08:25
by Eryx
rogonandi wrote:beneath
This might be weird, but I love this word. It doesn't exist in Portuguese. And it's so related to context, simply so cool. Sorry that I love a word, but I just do. Our closest would be "sob," which means under, that it's still not the same.

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 14 October 2019, 13:29
by poolerboy0077
rogonandi wrote:If he uses a condom then it doesn’t matter how dirty you are. Once he’s finished he can take the condom off, throw the condom away, and have a nice clean penis beneath. :thumbsup:

Keyword: If

Too many Grindr whores on PrEP think it’s fine not to use one. :facepalm2:

Re: Unsure about bottoming

Unread postPosted: 16 October 2019, 08:31
by Botanical Boy
I suppose in doing anal and being a top, you accept the inherent risk that you won't always pull out at the end and be spotless.

You will know your body and if you feel clear, then chances are that you are - but if not, it's no big deal as long as your friend/partner isn't unreasonable and accepts the fact that he may not be totally clean afterwards.

[Deleted]

Unread postPosted: 4 December 2019, 11:27
by Donna M
PostThis post was deleted by René on 4 December 2019, 11:33.
Reason: Spam