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Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 17 May 2020, 01:18
by Jt598
hi guys,

First time posting and I'm seeking advice from fellow gay people.

I'm sorry if this post has been made before or if the answer seems obvious but I'm unsure on what to do.

I'm a 22 year old guy and haven't lost my virginity yet. No sex, kissing or any sort of relationship. However, for some reason i have this impulse to just have sex. I want to enjoy myself with someone else.

Usually I go on apps like grind or Scruff for fun, just looking around not anything serious. As I'm looking for guys near me, I find a seemingly attractive guy (I say that cause he didn't have a face pic in his profile) but he seemed to be the type I like.

Where it all gets "real" is the fact that I have access to an empty house and the guy lives near by.

Is it recommendable to lose my v card to someone online since I have the need? Or if not, how would or did you deal with these feelings? Should I REALLY wait?

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 17 May 2020, 01:44
by betonhaus
Probably not. If you spend all your time afraid of bad sex you never start to learn what you actually want in bed. If you think he's kinda cute you're doing better than I did.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 17 May 2020, 15:37
by Frigid
Go for it. Or at least I would say that if we weren’t meant to be socially distancing.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 17 May 2020, 20:33
by Eos
There is no v card to use. It just is about you in the end. How will you live with or without this card.
If you want it go for it, but be careful during those times. And stay safe. Also the first isn't great usually.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 18 May 2020, 01:40
by Eryx
People talk about it being something special a lot, but mine wasn't special or especially pleasant, and I barely remember it. Virginity stops being significant after half a year. If you feel like now is the time, be safe and do it. If you feel like waiting for something more meaningful, do that. Both work.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 18 May 2020, 03:03
by Gaygoddess
I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it with someone online, especially if the other person isn't giving you any weird vibes. Losing your virginity to someone you're close with is definitely ideal but it's not the case for most people either. I was 20 when I lost my virginity but felt pressured to do so by my gay friends at the time. They shamed me for being a virgin and so did the guy I liked (the feelings were not mutual by the way) and so I decided against waiting for Mr. Right, downloaded Grindr, and did the deed with some random in the woods lol. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad either. I'm 23 now and beyond thankful for that experience. I do think for awhile I was a little traumatized but there were so many other things going on with the guy I liked. He was my roommate in college, we ran in the same circles because we had the same major, and I told him I liked him early into the year but he didn't reciprocate so I really struggled with that emotional recovery since I never got a break from him. Anyways, if you want to wait that's fine and if you don't that's also fine. If you truly feel you're ready then go for it! You'll know when it's time..

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 18 May 2020, 03:06
by Gaygoddess
Gaygoddess wrote:I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it with someone online, especially if the other person isn't giving you any weird vibes. Losing your virginity to someone you're close with is definitely ideal but it's not the case for most people either. I was 20 when I lost my virginity but felt pressured to do so by my gay friends at the time. They shamed me for being a virgin and so did the guy I liked (the feelings were not mutual by the way) and so I decided against waiting for Mr. Right, downloaded Grindr, and did the deed with some random in the woods lol. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad either. I'm 23 now and beyond thankful for that experience. I do think for awhile I was a little traumatized but there were so many other things going on with the guy I liked. He was my roommate in college, we ran in the same circles because we had the same major, and I told him I liked him early into the year but he didn't reciprocate so I really struggled with that emotional recovery since I never got a break from him. Anyways, if you want to wait that's fine and if you don't that's also fine. If you truly feel you're ready then go for it! You'll know when it's time..


OH and after the first time, I STILL FELT LIKE A VIRGIN. I felt like a virgin for the next 10 times LOL. So I really don't think virginity matters all that much, I guess it just depends on how meaningful you want your first time to be.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 23 May 2020, 22:08
by Remington
I'm kind of curious and you can tell me to mind my own business if you like but are you talking about virginity as in never having taken it in the rear before or as a never haven't had your dick sucked by another man?

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 24 May 2020, 02:59
by Jt598
Remington wrote:I'm kind of curious and you can tell me to mind my own business if you like but are you talking about virginity as in never having taken it in the rear before or as a never haven't had your dick sucked by another man?


Nothing sexual at all except porn with myself. The thing is, I'm not out to family, just friends. The whole "idea" is to get someone into a house that I can go in secret (no one knowing) for a hookup and losing "it". I've been super needy for sex without having any ever.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 24 May 2020, 04:04
by Remington
:facepalm: in my opinion I've always been of the mind that once you ejaculate whether you are by yourself are with someone else you've lost your virginity. I've never understood exactly why people say they're still virgins at 30 when they have been masturbating since they were 12.

But obviously I am not of the majority and so therefore I guess you would be a virgin. I do hope and wish your luck that you will find someone. There's nothing like a loving relationship when the one you love.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 25 May 2020, 16:16
by Eryx
Masturbation doesn't take away your virginity. Virginity's concept is tied to the communion between two people.

Re: Virginity and hooking up

Unread postPosted: 26 May 2020, 00:28
by Remington
Eryx wrote:Masturbation doesn't take away your virginity. Virginity's concept is tied to the communion between two people.

Thank you for the info