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Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 00:54
by unknown1992
So Ive always wanted to swallow cum. I tried eating my own cum but as soon as I cum I experience self hatred and shame, so I lose all interest. I tried sucking a guy off and as soon as I came from excitement I got filled with shame and couldn't finish him.

The only other time as soon as the guy came in my mouth, I came and was filled with so much shame I ran to the bathroom and started spitting and washing my mouth. I don't know how to get past this. Has anyone experienced something like that before? Is there a way around it? I want to do it I just don't know how to get there..

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 00:58
by pozzie
To start you have to deal with why you feel shame - nothing's going to work right if you feel self-hatred and shame when you cum or help someone else to cum. What's going on?

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 06:44
by unknown1992
Was raised roman catholic, and its always been a struggle. I want to find a way around it and get past this obstacle but not sure how.

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 09:33
by PopTart
It's not unusual to lose interest in cum, once the moment passes. I love it, but once I've finished, my enthusiasm is... diminished. Not gone, but I enjoy it less, once the moment has passed for me.

Why mention it?

Maybe you could acclimate yourself to it, through exposure BEFORE you cum.

That wont deal with the underlying causes for the shame, but doing as Pozboro suggests, identifying why you feel shame and coming to terms with it, combined with learning to enjoy it and that there is no harm or reason for shame, by engaging in it, you stand a better chance of moving forward.

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 20:42
by pozzie
unknown1992 wrote:Was raised roman catholic, and its always been a struggle. I want to find a way around it and get past this obstacle but not sure how.


yeah, that makes things difficult - at some point you have to decide if you want to continue allowing the Church to have such control over your life, but honestly, dealing with those issues are generally more appropriate for a therapist than a forum.

Shame sux. Don't let it ruin your life.

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 7 November 2021, 21:01
by Laserman1964
I would suggest don’t cum first, that’s what I do. Also, perhaps the biggest conclusion I came to is did I find the man sexy and attractive to enjoy him or was it just a moment of pleasure for you only with a large focus on cumming rather than just enjoying the moment in a relaxed way.

I felt bad in the early days. Before I accepted being gay. I had grown up in an era when men giving men blow jobs was just dirty and desperate.

Until I met one particular guy. One I found incredibly beautiful. I would do anything for him and I usually did including allowing him to video me as he came in my throat and down my mouth. I felt no guilt then. Just pure satisfaction I had pleased my man.

I have met others since and not experienced the same joy. In fact one man spurted after ten seconds of me going down on him. I didn’t let him cum in my mouth. He didn’t tell me he was about to cum which was not on. Then he left me to feel frustrated. I left to go back to my flat for a wank!

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 8 November 2021, 18:26
by Bimm
unknown1992 wrote:So Ive always wanted to swallow cum. I tried eating my own cum but as soon as I cum I experience self hatred and shame, so I lose all interest. I tried sucking a guy off and as soon as I came from excitement I got filled with shame and couldn't finish him.

The only other time as soon as the guy came in my mouth, I came and was filled with so much shame I ran to the bathroom and started spitting and washing my mouth. I don't know how to get past this. Has anyone experienced something like that before? Is there a way around it? I want to do it I just don't know how to get there..


I won’t use the term cum shame but, I too used to lose interest after I came. I suggest that the next time, don’t stroke yourself or let you partner stroke you. After I had a few experiences sucking, I found that when they came first and I didn’t cum, I enjoyed the taste of cum and the wonderful experience that I could bring a man to climax with my mouth.

I know how good it feels to get a good blowjob and I know how good it feels to have someone sit on my duck but, I get a real emotional release when I make a man cum either orally or anally.

Sometimes, the person you are with may not want to reciprocate after they have cum. But, that’s their problem.

Keep trying! There is NO shame!

Not sure I helped but, I hope I did

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 8 November 2021, 20:17
by pozzie
Let's be clear - there's a huge difference between losing interest (or getting too sensitive) after shooting and "cum shame." Clearly there's something in the way our bodies work that leads most guys to want to take a break after they've dumped a load. Some want to nap; others, eat or smoke or whatever; and the better ones will be there to help or at least cuddle a bit. And yes, some will even be up for some more, though that is generally thought of as more a younger guy's thing (though it's really all in our heads after the "refractory period").

Cum shame isn't biological. It's a learned behavior that can be unlearned as well.

[Deleted]

Unread postPosted: 9 November 2021, 06:58
by Guccisnake
PostThis post was deleted by René on 3 December 2021, 17:45.
Reason: Spam

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 10 November 2021, 11:20
by Introvert_Bn_18
18 Yet, Have only experienced once yet! But, candidly, I liked that experience! Will try in the future as well!

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 17 November 2021, 12:05
by NiceBiVers
Agree, Cum Shame isn’t the right heading. I have all these fantasies and battled to get into it. It’s easy to say bite the bullet but in fact that’s exactly what it is. I came into my hand and then couldn’t go through with tasting my own cum! I even tried coming on my own face to make it weirdly easier yet of course it was more difficult, I won’t explain. So, what next! I just said one day that’s it. I jerked of to gay porn. Took my time as I know I have a bigger load when I build up long enough. At the height of my orgasm my fingers we’re ready. As soon as my first load came out I moved my fingers to my mouth, no hesitation. I was still cumming and no thoughts were going through my head, yet this new taste was just thrilling. I just kept my fingers busy by bringing more and more up to my mouth. I was in my own fantasy. Dare I say it is no longer a problem.

Re: Cum shame

Unread postPosted: 18 November 2021, 16:33
by Nwibottom
So I’ve gone through this same issue. There could be a underlying issues as well. I really had to force myself to become a cumpig at first but once you open that door . It becomes really easy to take any cum . You will desire it like a drug . It controls me at times . Cum is amazing