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Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 16 August 2022, 15:26
by Badlands17
Good morning everyone!

I am sorry in advance for the TMI in this post but I am in desperate need for advice: at the ripe age of 23 years old I have gotten myself into my first proper relationship and, as things usually go, I have been engaging with my partner in sexual activity. This is my first relationship and my first sexual experience so it is needless to say that I am oftentimes more scared than I would like to be in regards to sex, but my issue is that when it comes to penetrative sex and full intercourse I have been having issues each time we tried. Foreplay and all of that are good but as soon I have to keep an erection to fully take it to the next step I either can't last as much as I would like or I can't keep it up (ah ah, funny I know). My partner has been very supportive of this and has reassured me that it is most definitely a performance anxiety-based issue, but I can't help to worry that this might ruin things between us if I dont "fix" it as soon as possible. Any tips?

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 16 August 2022, 17:18
by Marmaduke
The more effort you spend trying to fix it, the more anxious about it you’re going to become and the worse the problem is going to become.

Sex in a relationship is about intimacy. Be intimate. Be in the moment. Be a bit selfish and stop spending every ounce of mental bandwidth worrying about what he thinks of your performance. Focus on the things you’re enjoying, the things that are working, the rest will come with time.

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 16 August 2022, 21:30
by Badlands17
Marmaduke wrote:The more effort you spend trying to fix it, the more anxious about it you’re going to become and the worse the problem is going to become.

Sex in a relationship is about intimacy. Be intimate. Be in the moment. Be a bit selfish and stop spending every ounce of mental bandwidth worrying about what he thinks of your performance. Focus on the things you’re enjoying, the things that are working, the rest will come with time.


Thank you! that is definitely something I should be working on, I tend to be a people pleaser in life in general and I guess bringing that into the bedroom is not always the best idea. Thanks again!

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 17 August 2022, 00:48
by LokiLover87
I did not lose my virginity until my 20s and get a lot of pressure from it. Due to this, when my wife and I first started having sex, I often struggled similarly. It wasn't until I started relaxing more and just pulling myself out of my head that it got better. We have a very healthy sex life now (especially since coming out as bisexual - as that added weight is off).

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 17 August 2022, 04:13
by 21-79BB!
Badlands, your post is not TMI! Thanks for sharing what is certainly a disappointing experience. Marmaduke and LokiLover87 are definitely right about the approach which can help you, especially since this is your first sexual experience. Sexual pleasure can be enjoyed in many ways, and you are both at an age where you have many advantages! Focus first and foremost on open and honest communication about your needs and desires. Enjoy spending quiet times alone where you are free to gently touch and hold one another. Enjoy extended nude time together, especially in the shower(!), and sleep together nude as well. Enjoy learning and sharing erotic M2M massage. Enjoy watching each other become fully erect, and become comfortable maintaining your erections over longer periods of time with extended fondling and stroking. (At 23, I'll bet you have a swollen, throbbing boner that your partner loves to gaze at! And I'll bet you enjoy his throbbing boner as well, just dreaming about the pleasure you can give him!) Take some time to maintain you boner comfortably for longer periods of time before trying anal sex again. Work on comfortably performing extended fellatio first. Hone your oral technique, and enjoy giving your partner GREAT blowjobs, and enjoy his technique in return. Enjoy cumming in each other's mouths. Make it really wild by jacking off in each other's eager open mouths, hungrily licking up every last drop of hot jism! Think of your cumshot as a visible sign of the ultimate pleasure! Enjoy extended mutual jacking with the squeeze technique. Learn how to perform the lingam massage for the ultimate cumshot and full-body orgasm to finish up an erotic massage. Learn the fine art of extended navel massage and full-body navelgasm. (NO refractory period! Great before and after cumming. It can be sustained for as long as you want.) Consider wearing string-bikini or thong underwear (unless you go commando!) to add some excitement to those times when you slowly undress one another. A swollen boner "trapped" in microwear makes quite a "sexy slap" against tight abs when "released!" :D I hope you like these suggestions, and that you and your partner can work together for not only a deeply-pleasurable sex life in general, but also satisfying anal sex. Have hope, enjoy learning and growing, and let us know how things go! Speaking of tight abs, if you and your partner are thinking of going to the beach, check out one where microwear (or even nudity) are welcome (especially a gay beach). Check out this guy's teeny bikini, which leaves VERY little to the imagination. By fully showcasing his bellybutton and abs, he projects his full measure of orgasmic eroticism. Imagine you and your partner lying on your backs beside each other, wearing these teeny bikinis, taking turns deep-fingering each other's bellybuttons, awash in full-body navelgasm ecstacy :D Yep, "Sex on the Beach," and the best is yet to come!!!...https://skinzwear.com/product_detail.ph ... retch-Mesh

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 17 August 2022, 13:14
by Badlands17
LokiLover87 wrote:I did not lose my virginity until my 20s and get a lot of pressure from it. Due to this, when my wife and I first started having sex, I often struggled similarly. It wasn't until I started relaxing more and just pulling myself out of my head that it got better. We have a very healthy sex life now (especially since coming out as bisexual - as that added weight is off).


Thank you so much for sharing, I feel like given my lack of experience I tend to get scared of under performing and that just puts me in a loophole of not being able to do anything.

Re: Erection issues

Unread postPosted: 5 October 2022, 06:58
by Gingerito
It s just anxiety and it s normal
There are tons of ways to have pleasure aside of anal sex
Maybe explore just getting used to be intimiate without the stress of performing ;)
Massages
Kisses
Blows
Caress
Get pleasure naked together the. Slowly add build it ip