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Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 4 September 2022, 09:56
by Jameswell18
Hi all

I am 22 and recently lost my virginity with my current partner (I had known him for about 3/4 weeks at the point we had sex for the first time). Although I was quite stressed, and have been for 22 years (!) about bottoming, my first time went well; there was no dirt, it did not hurt too much and he enjoyed it. However, I was unable to cum and did not really get any pleasure from the experience. This problem has persisted each time we have had sex since (probably about 4/5 times). When I have previously played with my butt, I have always got so much pleasure from it and have came very quickly, so I was very surprised this was not the case when I bottomed with my partner.

It is probably worth mentioning that when I have had sexual partners in the past, I have not been able to cum either, but I have mostly put this down to being drunk and not that into it.

I do have a form of performance anxiety (mainly when urinating in public) which I have sought therapy for. I mention this because I fear my inability to ejaculate could be another symptom of this anxiety.

Does anybody have any tips, or has anyone else experience a similar problem?

I am worried that if this problem persists it is going to ruin my relationship with my partner.

Thanks in advance.

Re: Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 5 September 2022, 14:21
by asianduck888
well, I never did anal sex. did you wanking your cock during anal? I don't know if getting anal could make you cum without wanking that what I see from Porn, maybe people here have experience on it. for me I need to wanking to make me cum, can you cum when you wanking?

Re: Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 9 September 2022, 01:43
by StraightGuy95
That's normal if you're bottoming. Most bottoms stay soft. Before I started fucking bottoms, I watched gay porn and none of the 50 or so videos I saw did the bottom cum and they were almost always soft. None of the bottoms I fucked came either and they didn't seem to care at all. They were soft. No complaints.

Re: Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 9 September 2022, 08:08
by McTaggartfan
Same as before.

Re: Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 15 September 2022, 20:21
by weplenty
Jameswell18 wrote:Hi all

I am 22 and recently lost my virginity with my current partner (I had known him for about 3/4 weeks at the point we had sex for the first time). Although I was quite stressed, and have been for 22 years (!) about bottoming, my first time went well; there was no dirt, it did not hurt too much and he enjoyed it. However, I was unable to cum and did not really get any pleasure from the experience. This problem has persisted each time we have had sex since (probably about 4/5 times). When I have previously played with my butt, I have always got so much pleasure from it and have came very quickly, so I was very surprised this was not the case when I bottomed with my partner.

It is probably worth mentioning that when I have had sexual partners in the past, I have not been able to cum either, but I have mostly put this down to being drunk and not that into it.

I do have a form of performance anxiety (mainly when urinating in public) which I have sought therapy for. I mention this because I fear my inability to ejaculate could be another symptom of this anxiety.

Does anybody have any tips, or has anyone else experience a similar problem?

I am worried that if this problem persists it is going to ruin my relationship with my partner.

Thanks in advance.


Try being the top

Re: Bottom unable to cum during sex

Unread postPosted: 5 October 2022, 06:51
by Gingerito
This happened to me when i started being active sexually!
It has to do with how hou apprehand sexual relation and being vulnerable with someone else.. it would be ok talking to your partner, and exploring ways of pleasure…
Something that helped was masturbating while my partner gave me pleasure with his tongue in there ;)