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3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 08:59
by Zurdoknoc
Guy met guy 3 weeks ago. Great connection I have not had in 5 years. Many dates one a short time . Sometimes 4 times a week. He has been at my place Which is weird because I don’t bring anyone here . I’ve been at his. He shows his interest. He keeps reminding himself “it’s only 3 weeks”. My gut and my instinct tell me he is bf material and I want him as my bf . Sex is GREAT. We ALWAYS say “ not sex to tonight”... we start kissing, making out and he ends up getting me hard and naked and we have sex. He shows his interest a lot.
I am falling for him. Not sure if you tell him or not. It’s not love. It’s a strong attraction and Desire to be with him and to claim him as mine. So handsome.
Anyway.
Should I tell him now I am falling for him ? Or wait?
Thanks for reading this.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 12:30
by René
I'm sure others are in a better position to advise.

I'll just say, at least you have more restraint than me falling for a (very special) guy from Grindr within 3 hours and pretty much telling him I want to spend the rest of my life with him after 2 days :lol:

(I think he appreciated my honesty though; he simply replied something like "Oh, it's way too early to be thinking about that." and I think we're now getting to the point where it's not too early. :))

The above is probably a special case and should not be construed as advice. :P

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 12:42
by Zurdoknoc
Haha sure. We did not meet through grindr and it’s more than sexy for sure. Sometimes I just want to cuddle up with him and no sex.
The question is if I d are hours tell him I’m falling for him. Or not? Too soon? Feelings don’t lie.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 13:01
by René
Zurdoknoc wrote:Haha sure. We did not meet through grindr and it’s more than sexy for sure. Sometimes I just want to cuddle up with him and no sex.
The question is if I d are hours tell him I’m falling for him. Or not? Too soon? Feelings don’t lie.

Do you think he's falling for you too?

With our guy there were some pretty strong signals. We knew in advance he was really cuddly, but it clearly went beyond that when he started holding our hands while watching stuff on his laptop in bed and while falling asleep together, intertwining our fingers and stuff like that... :3

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 15:12
by Zurdoknoc
I think he is. He hugs me when I see him. He hugs me from the back out of the blue. He asks me to come see him or see each other. He Cooked for me last night. We hold times once in a while. He holds me tight when in bed making out or having sex. He holds my hands. So I think so.
Not sure if I should tell him I’m falling for him? I don’t want him to feel I am rushing up things but I’d like him to know how I feel.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 25 July 2020, 17:31
by René
Zurdoknoc wrote:I think he is. He hugs me when I see him. He hugs me from the back out of the blue. He asks me to come see him or see each other. He Cooked for me last night. We hold times once in a while. He holds me tight when in bed making out or having sex. He holds my hands. So I think so.
Not sure if I should tell him I’m falling for him? I don’t want him to feel I am rushing up things but I’d like him to know how I feel.

I love those hugs from behind out of the blue so much :3

I assume you do/initiate such things with him too. In that case, odds are he has a good idea how you feel already and it can't hurt to put it into words. Saying you're falling for someone doesn't seem too rushy to me. Particularly since it's a process. That's my impression. I'm not a native speaker of English though.

I'd be interested to hear what others think.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 26 July 2020, 07:32
by Eos
I would tell him, and mention that it's OK if he feels it's going too fast, tell him you can give him a lot of time to think about it.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 26 July 2020, 09:33
by René
Eos wrote:I would tell him, and mention that it's OK if he feels it's going too fast, tell him you can give him a lot of time to think about it.

This doesn't necessarily need a response, though. It's just information.

I tend to think communication is important and if you can't talk about your feelings with someone, that's not a great sign for the long-term sustainability of a relationship. So telling him could be a bit of a litmus test: if he does react badly, maybe it could never have worked out anyway. Which would mean there is no real downside to telling him, because if it can't work out, it's probably better to figure that out earlier rather than later, before more is invested in the relationship.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 26 July 2020, 21:19
by sailinguser
Some guys do get spooked when emotional attachment happens faster than they like. Is he saying stuff like, "I like you", "I enjoy your company", or "I find myself looking forward to seeing you after we're apart"? If you want to be extra cautious, maybe consider holding off on skipping right to emotionally intense phrases like "falling for you" before you guys have gotten in the habit of regularly communicating early indicators of growing attachment.

If you don't want to be extra cautious because he's signaling mostly through non-verbal cues, that's probably fine too, but may carry a little bit of risk. Ultimately up to you.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 27 July 2020, 13:43
by Zurdoknoc
Maybe is a good idea. I am just a bit afraid that if I say something he will get scared and lose interest. I really like him. I don’t want to look like I am too much when I am not!

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 8 August 2020, 21:36
by Jasper1
Why do you need to say anything?

You’re into him and by what you have written, he’s definitely into you, and it’s early days in the relationship so you can just enjoy it.

I would understand it if you were doubting his interest in the relationship therefore felt you needed to tell him how you felt but actions speak louder than words. You don’t need any words if he’s giving you hugs from behind unprompted. In fact, I would prefer if no words was spoken so I could enjoy the moment. Silence can be beautiful.

You’re only 3 weeks into the relationship and sounds like he has not done anything for you to doubt his commitment to you.

There will be a time to move it into the next stage but I don’t think that’s now.

Re: 3 weeks and falling for him

Unread postPosted: 10 August 2020, 06:48
by doeshelikeme
i think it would be better if you waited a bit longer ....
there is no scientific fact or something like that behind my opinion, but i feel this would be the right thing to do