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I don't miss my date

Unread postPosted: 24 October 2020, 14:32
by BrianOM28

I'm a gay guy who's been seeing a guy for about 4 months. This is the longest time I've been with a guy, I've pretty much been single my whole life. So I've been used to being on my own and I'm happy on my own.

I like this guy and I am attracted to him. We only see each other at the weekend though, and I find I don't really miss him during the week. I think this is just down to the fact I'm happy to be on my own.

I do like him but he has other habits which are a bit annoying, like being a drama queen, can't handle any mild discomfort like being a bit cold or hungry. He came to mine for a night, at his it took him literally half an hour to pack everything, he needs to have everything he normally has, I think he might be autistic. But also a bit of a diva and a perfectionist. I'm trying to be patient and accepting, but I think this might be draining for me. Once we were at mine, he went out to buy food even though I had food and was reluctant to accept anything I offered. It's been the same with wine I bought especially before, as he likes wine.

He does care about me though, and he is sensitive of others' needs. I'm just not sure If I can reciprocate though. I'm happy to take things slowly, but it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere right now with just meeting once a week. We've suggested meeting more often, but we're both tired from work during the week. And the lockdown has played a part in limiting what we can do. We text a lot everyday. It feels like more of a texting relationship sometimes, and I'm getting a bit tired of the mechanical 'how are you' and 'how is work', 'how are you feeling' etc.

We've spoken about going away for a weekend soon, so things are looking to be a bit more serious. I do enjoy myself when I'm with him, but I just don't find myself yearning for him, I did a bit more when we first dated. I've felt like this with other guys I've briefly dated, I think it's more something to do with me being introverted.

I really wish I could yearn more for him, but I just don't. If I do break it off, I feel I should do it soon, I don't want to hurt him. I'm just confused though, I don't know what I want and how I feel.

Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks

Re: I don't miss my date

Unread postPosted: 24 October 2020, 15:01
by René
He has a low threshold for discomfort, can't stand being hungry, but also won't accept food that you offer him? Strange... did you delve into that any deeper?

I'm autistic, but I'll eat all your food (insofar as it's vegetarian) if you let me :D

I'm also introverted, but that mostly just means I'm not very outgoing and prefer hanging out at home doing things like cuddling on the couch watching TV shows, playing board games and video games, stuff like that, rather than e.g. going to parties. I would always still prefer doing the things I like to do with a guy I'm seeing to doing them alone.

Does he live nearby? Do you both have jobs you need to go to? Would one of you spending a week at the other's place be a possibility?

It might be a matter of getting used to being around each other more. At least waking up in the same bed every day and seeing each other in the evening. Maybe you could get used to it and start enjoying living like that more... :shrug: