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Relationship Advice. Help!

Unread postPosted: 30 May 2021, 02:04
by garrechtl2
Hello,

My name is Lily, I follow you on IG. Thank you for the diversity, the advice, the excitement and the videos. You actually posted my best friend and her wife almost a year ago from their beach wedding in Georgia.

I just wanted to reach out and get some advice.

I am in not my first lesbian relationship. She has never dated a girl before. We met through work.
She’s dated only guys before. I could tell you at least 20 things about her ex in HS and her recent ex. She talks about them that much. Both good and bad. Mostly good. In my opinion.
We recently she said “we rushed into the relationship” I waited until she was ready to date. Asked her at least 3 times if she was ready and wanted to date. It was about 4 months into talking. We didn’t have any sex really. She was 100% aligned. We moved to FL for work, in the same building. Then she moved to MD to work in HR. We did distance for a while cause I didn’t secure a job. Visited every weekend. Finally moved to MD. I travel for Amazon. She recently quit her job with Amazon, after being overwhelmed and stressed out. I have been supporting us financially.
We had a conversation the other night, she said “she doesn’t know if she wants to be with a man or woman” some friends know she dates me, some don’t. Some family does, some don’t. Same for me. Both our parents don’t know.
She recently bought tickets to go to a concert in Chicago, looked at her phone and saw it was because a guy that she had something with when she lived in Chicago talked her into it. She doesn’t work, I support and she bought a $450 ticket. She didn’t ask me to come she said “should I buy these tickets for a concert I finally got pass the wait list” I had no idea what she was talking about. Well, anyways, she bought this concert ticket, let the guy know and he hearted it. She does not have a plane ticket and does not have a place to stay.
So I bought a ticket. Told her and she got very defensive saying I didn’t think you had the money. And I thought you said you’d be busy with work. Never bought up this concert again.
She also wants to move again to CA. But in the recent conversation she said “I am finally moving to a place I want, not tied to work, nothing but I want to live there” she wants me to come but I don’t know.
I told her and she cried but that I have now placed a hard layer of skin over my heart because her leaving won’t 1. Make me act out of control. 2. Be blindsided by it.

So this is how I feel, I don’t feel like it was ever love we had. I don’t feel like she’s been committed to our relationship since the jump. I think she’s just enjoys the company and filling the void.

FYI we never have sex. Every time we do, it’s not good. She is a perfectionist. I don’t do it right, or I am too rough. She always critics me, that when we finish I just feel like a complete failure.

I really love spending time together, laughing and stuff but now I’m on edge 100% with this relationship and how I feel.

Never going to talk someone into loving me, nor am I going to stay around for someone to figure out what she wants. We are both 25.

I personally think she wants to be with a guy. She has only dated tall white men. She is black and I am Asian.

If you took the time to read this thank you.

Lily Garrecht


Sent from my iPhone