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Told a friend I like im gay. Need help :(

Unread postPosted: 22 August 2022, 23:38
by Tyhaehu
So this guy (19) and I (19) have known each other for 1 year now. I have basically known that he was gay since before he came into my friend group. Tho i was very secretive about my sexuality and never told him. A couple of months before we became friends i had seen him on tinder, i imediatly knew it was him and on the section where they advertise tinder+ it said "[His name] likes you". So i assumed he had already liked my profile since his name isnt that common aswell. I swiped away his profile cause I felt it was awkward to talk to a guy that i know from my school.

Now 1 year later i have gotten to known him pretty well and we have hung out alot, played video games etc together. "Yesterday night he sent me some funny tiktoks and then he asked me: "I have a question i have wanted to ask for a long time but forgot, last year i saw a tinder profile that was you, did anyone use your pictures to catfish or that was actually you?" I said: "Yes that was me, sorry i never told you before :/" He said: "It's okay, it took awhile for me to come out aswell". I told him: "I feel really bad that i never had told you before, i've wanted many times but then never got myself to do it" After that he opened the message right away, but he took like 1 hour for him to respond, i saw him like entering and exiting the chat multiple times and typing but yet it still took him 1 hour to say: "Of course i wont tell anyone, my gaydar is pretty good tbh" I responded with: It's okay, one of our friends already know and im gonna try to not be secretive about it anymore. I'm assuming u had ur guesses that i was gay before then?" And after that he opened the message but never responded. Just like the last message i saw him popping in and out from the chat typing or just silently being in there. I was so confused why he did this. Then it just stopped and i assumed he went to sleep since it was 2am. I thought to myself that maybe he just needed to think about it or something and would respond in the morning. Now it has gone 24 hours since that message and im kinda anxious why he didnt reply to my question, why did he have such a hard time typing something. And why would he even ask me about seeing my tinder profile when it was so long ago? Did he have any intentions with it?

I had planned to later ask him if he ever could imagine me as being something more than just a friend. But when the conversation stopped like that i couldn't really type it. My hope is that he also likes me as i like him. Im kinda ranting here so if you find this post to be childish or whatever plz just don't write anything. Just plz help me figure this out 😭 Should i maybe text him again even tho he kinda ghosted me and left me on read?

Re: Told a friend I like im gay. Need help :(

Unread postPosted: 23 August 2022, 14:44
by 21-79BB!
I don't think you are ranting;you are expressing the feelings within you. You are not being childish, either. You have the courage to reveal your true self in this forum. And you both have already come out to each other. Human nature being what it is, give yourself the chance to interact WITHOUT the interference of social media!!! Building a caring relationship takes time, so get in ouch with him by phone, visit, or however you have before. Sit down in private for a frank and open discussion about how the two of you feel about each other. Learn about each other's hobbies and interests. Have the courage to talk about sensual and sexual needs and desires. See how warm hugs and deep kissing feel. Spend time nude together. Try sharing erotic massage to learn about each others' bodies. Bring extended jacking and fellatio into the picture. Learn the fine art (and intense, sustained pleasure!) of navel orgasm (navelgasm). (NO refractory period! I speak from long experience!) Good luck to you both as you move forward. Let us know how things go!!

Re: Told a friend I like im gay. Need help :(

Unread postPosted: 2 October 2022, 02:29
by Montaffe
He is the one that left the conversation in the middle so don’t stress over the reason, it could be a lot of different things. You were right not to reply again but now that it has been more than 24 hours, send him a message telling him that you do like him and apologize again for the incident a year ago (it obviously bothered him). Don’t suggest getting together until after you know why he dropped the conversation. It’s okay to leave that for down the road. One last thing, our emotions get stronger when we sense an opportunity is slipping through our fingers so be aware that you may feel more strongly toward him at this moment than you will if you do actually hook up. I’m not saying that is happening here but it is a common thing so be aware of it.

Re: Told a friend I like im gay. Need help :(

Unread postPosted: 3 October 2022, 11:37
by PopTart
Bit late to this. But let me cut through the overthinking.

Chances are he likes you. He liked your profile on tinder, so that should tell you he likes you.

The reasons for his hesitation could be numerous, but most likely, he was nervous and uncertain too.

If you like him, let him know. It seems to me, you are reluctant to put yourself forward or make the first move. Chances are you might have to.