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How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 28 August 2022, 22:29
by jaredjoy90
I dress mainstream, have a mainstream voice, clean cut. Cardio fit... how do other guys know I'm gay? I don't give off vibes in my opinion but random guys just seem to know... I went on a trip to Portland, Oregon last week and stayed downtown. No women flirted with me but several guys did... Is gaydar a thing? When I want to hook up in my own town I go to well known gay bars to filter it out. Or maybe just all the guys in Portland are gay? Lol

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 29 August 2022, 07:26
by Marmaduke
It seems your interpretation of “mainstream” - whatever that means - is being read predominantly as “gay” by others.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 29 August 2022, 11:43
by René
It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 31 August 2022, 14:54
by jaredjoy90
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D


Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 31 August 2022, 15:32
by René
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D

Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

Not necessarily, but I guess mannerisms can say a lot beyond what's visible in a still image.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 31 August 2022, 16:26
by Marmaduke
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D


Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

You look like you moisturise. By American rules, you’re automatically gay.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 1 September 2022, 17:02
by jaredjoy90
René wrote:
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D

Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

Not necessarily, but I guess mannerisms can say a lot beyond what's visible in a still image.


Thats a really good point. Maybe its a lack of attraction to women and more attention paid to guys.. more eye contact and stuff..

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 1 September 2022, 17:05
by jaredjoy90
Marmaduke wrote:
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D


Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

You look like you moisturise. By American rules, you’re automatically gay.


Lol. I actually just use a mild facial cleanser. Well, that and...

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 1 September 2022, 19:32
by PopTart
It's become my experience that the vast majority of gay people, even the closeted variety, can't help but "troop the colours"

By this I mean, drape themselves in all manner of rainbow accoutrements, bangles, wrist bands, pins, badges, clothes, bags, jewelry, glasses, even hair dye and makeup. It seems one can't come out of the closest (or indeed climb into one in the first place) without first passing through the rainbow accoutrements gift shop.

Is it possible that you have, however inadvertently, accumulated some rainbow chic, without intending too? Just last week I inexplicably bought a tacky necklace with a rainbow painted ball arrayed amidst some iffy pebbles on a string, thrust upon me by a questionable seeming street vendor, jabbering away at me in Portuguese. I had no desire for the thing. I find it mildly uncomfortable to wear. Not for the "trooping of the colours" but because there is something sharp attached to the clasp. I just can't find the offending snaggy thing.

My point is, that homosexuals possess a gravity well exclusive to rainbow coloured things. They gather around our orbits and signal our gayness to those that might be attuned to such happenings.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 1 September 2022, 21:22
by René
PopTart wrote:It's become my experience that the vast majority of gay people, even the closeted variety, can't help but "troop the colours"

By this I mean, drape themselves in all manner of rainbow accoutrements, bangles, wrist bands, pins, badges, clothes, bags, jewelry, glasses, even hair dye and makeup. It seems one can't come out of the closest (or indeed climb into one in the first place) without first passing through the rainbow accoutrements gift shop.

Is it possible that you have, however inadvertently, accumulated some rainbow chic, without intending too? Just last week I inexplicably bought a tacky necklace with a rainbow painted ball arrayed amidst some iffy pebbles on a string, thrust upon me by a questionable seeming street vendor, jabbering away at me in Portuguese. I had no desire for the thing. I find it mildly uncomfortable to wear. Not for the "trooping of the colours" but because there is something sharp attached to the clasp. I just can't find the offending snaggy thing.

My point is, that homosexuals possess a gravity well exclusive to rainbow coloured things. They gather around our orbits and signal our gayness to those that might be attuned to such happenings.

Haha, I've noticed this in others but never in myself, thankfully :P

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 1 September 2022, 21:35
by René
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:
jaredjoy90 wrote:
René wrote:It might help to have a photo or video of you so we can provide an impartial assessment of the situation. :D

Uploaded avatar. Do I look gay to you?

Not necessarily, but I guess mannerisms can say a lot beyond what's visible in a still image.

Thats a really good point. Maybe its a lack of attraction to women and more attention paid to guys.. more eye contact and stuff..

You could also be what I think is known as... "camp"? :P Some straight guys are too, though.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 7 September 2022, 00:43
by NobodySpecial
As someone pointed out a still picture are alone doesn't give clues to masculine/femine or gay/str8.

Several of your posts over the months you do seem to be very absorbed by the "gay" lifestyle perhaps you don't see that looking from the inside.

Note: I don't want to write a long reply as I am prone to do when I post. I would just say that it really shouldn't really matter, so I hope you don't let it bother you.

Just realize that the more you submerge and indulge in gay (I'm talking about other than sex) activities, It will have an effect on how you are perceived. Note, I am a top (though I cannot function with my bad case of ED), and my partner is a bottom. He would easily beat me in a scale of masculinity as he oozes masculinity. So it has nothing to do with sexual role orientation/preferences. Maybe it has to do with being more rural based and keeping pretty much to ourselves. About the only interactions I have with gays is on these anonymous gay forums. I also notice that my opinions on such forums is usually not the prevailing attitudes in the LGBT world. I'm fine with that because I live my life as I see fit. Once you get to be old, you realize loving someone, being loved, and living for yourself is really what matters. All the other stuff gradually falls by the way side.

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 7 September 2022, 20:47
by jaredjoy90
PopTart wrote:It's become my experience that the vast majority of gay people, even the closeted variety, can't help but "troop the colours"

By this I mean, drape themselves in all manner of rainbow accoutrements, bangles, wrist bands, pins, badges, clothes, bags, jewelry, glasses, even hair dye and makeup. It seems one can't come out of the closest (or indeed climb into one in the first place) without first passing through the rainbow accoutrements gift shop.

Is it possible that you have, however inadvertently, accumulated some rainbow chic, without intending too? Just last week I inexplicably bought a tacky necklace with a rainbow painted ball arrayed amidst some iffy pebbles on a string, thrust upon me by a questionable seeming street vendor, jabbering away at me in Portuguese. I had no desire for the thing. I find it mildly uncomfortable to wear. Not for the "trooping of the colours" but because there is something sharp attached to the clasp. I just can't find the offending snaggy thing.

My point is, that homosexuals possess a gravity well exclusive to rainbow coloured things. They gather around our orbits and signal our gayness to those that might be attuned to such happenings.


There are lots of guys who are quite noticeable but this closet is rather full of dull coloured clothes...

Re: How do strangers know I'm gay?

Unread postPosted: 7 September 2022, 20:52
by jaredjoy90
NobodySpecial wrote:As someone pointed out a still picture are alone doesn't give clues to masculine/femine or gay/str8.

Several of your posts over the months you do seem to be very absorbed by the "gay" lifestyle perhaps you don't see that looking from the inside.

Note: I don't want to write a long reply as I am prone to do when I post. I would just say that it really shouldn't really matter, so I hope you don't let it bother you.

Just realize that the more you submerge and indulge in gay (I'm talking about other than sex) activities, It will have an effect on how you are perceived. Note, I am a top (though I cannot function with my bad case of ED), and my partner is a bottom. He would easily beat me in a scale of masculinity as he oozes masculinity. So it has nothing to do with sexual role orientation/preferences. Maybe it has to do with being more rural based and keeping pretty much to ourselves. About the only interactions I have with gays is on these anonymous gay forums. I also notice that my opinions on such forums is usually not the prevailing attitudes in the LGBT world. I'm fine with that because I live my life as I see fit. Once you get to be old, you realize loving someone, being loved, and living for yourself is really what matters. All the other stuff gradually falls by the way side.


You bring up a good point. I live in a very open minded neighbourhood (just outside the gay neighbourhood of my city)..My best friend is quite flamboyant and we go crusing together every now and then so theres that. Even people as clueless as me pick up that he's gay. Maybe people catch on and remember me? Would you remember the friend (I am far more shy)1 week after seeing them together?